The Cow Moo Cult's Very Own Uncyclopedia Mafia A Family Business
THIS BAR IS CURRENTLY CLOSED. THE FAMILY APOLOGISES
Welcome. This is the Russian Wing, so come on in. Please leave your guns on the Weapons Rack, provided, and be sure to collect them on your way out. Down to Business then, we've got a few rules in here:
Screw The Rules
You Must Obey Rule 1.
The Don's word is final
Other then that, you're free to do as you please, just remember, someone's gonna be watching this place, and watching YOU!!
THE RUSSIAN BAR The Bar is now open for discussion
The Don would just like to stop by and say that this new bar is looking great! Very stylish. Lots of guns...Is good! Is very good! Hex, feel free to transfer 100k from my account to yours for building the Russian bar. Yours Sincerely, DonMr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
~On a dark night on uncyclopedia, a shady looking big fellow with a black overcoat walks into a Russian bar, with an AK-47 shaped bulge in the front~ "Where is all vodka?!? This is doubleplus good bar of Fatherland, where all vodka is?!?" Chocolate Rain 23:55, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
Da, this be the place. We got all the goods you could need... drugs, guns, girls and the precious Vodka, imported direct from the MotherLand. --Mr. Lavrenti"Digits"Hex 06:39, 5 September 2008 (UTC) See?
We do need a bartender for this bar! Also, I added a redirect from User:YesTimeToEdit/mafia/russiaclub to here. And a message from there (from me...) Hey, so what's going on in the Russian bar, 'ere? Who's bartending this place? - [15:50 5 September] SirFStDonYettie
~Goes into the back room, finds bartender masturbating to Rhino-on-Human porn, pulls out AK-47, closes door people outside hear gunshots~ "Bartender? What bartender?" Chocolate Rain 21:11, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
If you bumped the bartender off, then, you're going to have to fill his shoes. That means archiving this page and keeping everything in order, like at the main bar. Kapiche? - [22:18 5 September] SirFStDonYettie
"Well good, I didn't 'bump him off' per say, I just castrated him with an AK-47, he should be back up in a few minutes..." Chocolate Rain 04:11, 6 September 2008 (UTC)
If you're not already a-member, you should be ashamed of yourself! Why don't you enrol? In my mafia there lots-a perks - this members only bar, a shooting range and a golf-a course! Seriously, though, you either-a enrol or you sleep wit' teh fishies; your choice. I really don't wanna havva make Johnny, do it, see his mumma just died and he's real sad about it. He's a real nice guy, a real gentle, like - I wouldn't wanna havva make him do it -see?