From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE TENESSEE STATE DEPARTMENT OF EDUMICATION
This is a shared IP registered to the Tennessee State Department of Education. It is belived by a user of this IP that it is shared within one entire school... of porpoise. Another user believes that ants have small radars in their head and they use them for navigational purposes. A third (or is that fifth, I can never remember the order) believes that ant radar are used for navigational porpoises. Actually, the third user and the first user might be the same user. Which is kinda wierd, if there's three of him.
Anyway ... Beware.
The Tenessee State Department of Education is a very serious department in a serious building. We are armed. This is your first warning.
Friend, a meteor might hit your winnebago - but that is as nothing compared to what the Tenessee State Department of Education can do when angry. We turn over ice cream trucks without warning. And we HATE porpoise.
Keep Tenessee Porpoise Free!
There 'aint one porpoise been to Tenessee and lived, brother - you catch my drift?
Apart from Slim Porpoise and the Pickers - the Sun Studio group, but Memphis is a law unto itself.
On a side note, if any Ice Cream trucks are caught trafficking porpoise across the state line, they will be turned over WITHOUT warning. By an RPG.
Tenessee Welcomes Harrison Ford
And while we're here, we'd like to give up a big shout to the actor, Mr. Harrison Ford.
Mr. Ford, the Tenessee State Department of Education is especially after your ass. Well, actually, no, that makes us sound like a bunch of preverts. We're a comin to gitcha, Harrison. You pretend to be confused all the time, but we don't believe it. In fact, you sound suspiciously British to us, with all your Darwiniasm and cross-dressing - and the Brits will be first against the wall, well, no not that way.
And if your not British, then you're definitely a porpoise. I've seen "Raiders of the Lost Ark", pal. I saw the flippers, along with millions of others. Oh yes, you tried to keep them under your shirt, but they poked out, Harrison, they poked out.
Ummmm... Hello. I am User:220.127.116.11. That's my real name. Mr. User:18.104.22.168 Ford of Hollywood, CA. And I am SICK of people making fun of me. It's just pure nameism dressed up as a woman. That's why I changed my name to Harrison. But while we're here - why not read about a selection of my films!
- Raiders of the Lost Ark: In this one, User:22.214.171.124. plays a very confused archeologist being chased by a huge rock.
- Star Wars User:126.96.36.199. turns in a heroic performace of a confused guy flying a big ship.
- The Fugative In one of his most famous roles, User:188.8.131.52. plays a confused guy who is being chased for some reason which confuses him.
- Bladerunner User:184.108.40.206. turns out to be a robot! And with a name like that, who's surprised?
- Working Girl User:220.127.116.11 makes a star appearance as a confused cross-dressing working girl; working harder and more flirtatiously than any other girl of his time proving that low cut tops and high cut skirts rule the day, even in the rough and tumble world of carpentry.
ANOTHER IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE TENESSEE STATE DEPARTMENT OF EDUMICATION
We don't just educate part of Tenessee, you know. We educate all of it. And that's not easy, let me tell you. It's full of crocodiles, for one thing. And some of the people we are forced to educate by the national government are still shocked by electricity. Literally.
I mean, people point and laugh and say "Look at those squares from the Tenessee State Department of Edumication... probably going home now to do some vaccuming, when we're all having fun in our sports cars..." - but think for a moment? Where would Tenessee be without the Tenessee State Department of Edumication? It would be exactly where it is now. But it would be totally uneducated. It would be the only state in America not able to read or write. Well, apart from Alaska, but they don't count. Either.
A REALLY IMPORTANT MESSAGE
If you are an anonymous user and feel that these irrelevant comments have been directed at you, then please send money to the authors. They don't get out much and they need pizza. Thanks.
ANOTHER REALLY IMPORTANT MESSAGE
Hey wow, like dude, like HARRISON FORD goes to our school!!!!