User:15Mickey20/UnBooks:Around The World In 80 TV Travel Documentaries

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Around The World In 80 TV Travel Documentaries was a BBC travel documentary first broadcast on BBC2 in 2008. In the six-part series, veteran entertainer and TV panel show regular Michael Carpentier embarked on a journey, navigating the four corners of the globe. Along the way, he tracked down 80 fellow television presenters, each of whom were filming their own unique journey of a lifetime. Here, Uncyclopedia reproduces extracts from the best-selling companion book to the series.

edit South America

Deep in the dark dramatic heart of the Amazon Rainforest, I was coming to the end of a three-day trek through the jungle. My local guide, Chico, told me that we were heading for the home of the ancient Guanihoc people. Of course, I already knew that. The production staff had arranged this trip months ago. It was there that I was to meet Dr. Ernest McGregor, star of Around The World In 80 Indigenous Peoples From Whom Us Westerners Can Learn A Great Deal.

We were given a traditional ceremonial welcome by the Gunaihoc. They'd even arranged for the women of the tribe to get their tits out. I thought that was a nice touch. Once they'd all finished hopping around I was introduced to the man I'd come to see. We sat down in his hut and opened up a nice bottle of brandy, so that we could talk about his incredible journey thus far.

"The Heemangi cannibals of Papua New Guinea were a very interesting tribe," said Ernest, "It was a bit tense at first, but once we'd offered our sound man as a sacrifice, we got along famously. They all had a great sense of humour and they were good cooks too."

Ernie was thoroughly enjoying the simpler, more spritual, way of life of the Guonihac. He showed me the traditional woven baskets he'd been making with the village's womenfolk that morning. He assured me that it wasn't as boring as it looked. His basket would be used to hold traditional herbal remedies.

"It's easy to dismiss tribal medicine. These people believe that ill health is caused by upsetting the god of the forest and only by smoking this local plant and thereby returning the spirit of the gods to the sky can one recover. Who are we to say that's not right?" says Dr. McGregor.

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