Big Brother (UK television series)
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
omg did u c big brother last nite? No? omg u rly missed sumfin.
well 1st off they showed that well gobby 1 talkin to the other girls. she is such a bitch! get her out of the house now!!!! srsly! she woz like "he woz well slaggin u of urlyer". n i woz like "shut up u lyin cow". he woz just bein real. sumfin she wud no nuffin about btw. neway she started d convosation. shes such a stirrer that 1. im tellin u she has a game plan big time. BIG TIME. she thinks shes queen of the house or sumfin as if shes sittin in beckingham palace. i cant wait til she gets voted out n she gets booed. GET HER OUT!!!behavier n that word is suckin arse. she sucks so much arse that girl n she thinks shes so clever n wont get nominated 4 eviction or nuffin but 1 day she will get put up n we'll get her OUT!!
then l8r they were all talkin n stuff n sum others were in the pool rite havin a laff n all that n then there woz the old 1. he was sittin on his own on 1 of those garden chares (omg dont u luv those chares? i am so gettin 1 4 me room. those r well classy). neway y is that old geezer there? wot is he like 60 or sumfin? cos he says hes 41 but me n me frend britney think he looks soooo old. neway hes just sittin there all allone n not playin truth or dare or gettin off wiv d girls or nething.
i mean wots his problem? hes well up himself. he thinks hes so much betta then ne1 else but hes not cos hes sooooooo borin. me n britney were chattin about it last nite n she cudnt beleive he got into the house if he was so borin. i mean whos gonna care about that sad old man. u aint gonna c ne1 out talkin about him thats 4 sure.
plus i think hes tryin 2 suck up 2 ppl by cookin n cleanin 4 em. He takes advantage of how he likes cookin n no1 else wants 2 do it. hes well tryin 2 b their dad n control the house. hes got a game plan that 1.
Uh these 2 make me sick. i think im gonna vommit
ok next they showed those 2 in bed togetha again. y dont they just fuck off? They r so fuckin fake cosyin up like that as if there in luv or sumfin. I mean theyd bearly bin livin togetha 4 a week n they suddenly cuddled up to eachotha. I dont normaly get like that wiv a new guy until ive been on atleast 1 date wiv em. that girl is a slag.fake little luv story that we r gonna vote for them, like all those other sucessfull winnin cupples like... um i cant fink of em now. but i tell u 1 thin. i cant wait til they get out. then we will c wot happens. i luk forward to byin their issue of heat magazine where they talk about the brake up n we finaly here the REAL story. itll happen and theyll luk prety stupid then.
OMG THAT THICK 1 IS SO THICK! like they were all sittin in the kitchin n stuf n they were chattin about food n hes like "wots an egg?" n i was like wtf? i mean how can ne1 not no an egg is wot chickins shit out? where do they find these ppl?
i applyed 1 time n there were sum rite fickos there. there was this 1 old woman who didnt even no how 2 txt. lol! me frend britney got thru 2 d 2nd round but i think i was 2 smart 4 em. but i told em i if they gave me the money i cud go get a boob job n cum back well fit but they werent intrested. gays.neway theres no way that guy is that thick cos he was ritin the shoppin list the other day rite n he mispellt bred but he got loads of harder stuf like potatas n sellery rite. its all an act n hes rly playin a vry clever game. u gotta watch that 1. i think hes rite sneeky. funny tho.
JIM 2 WIN!!
omg last nite they were all drinking n i think jim had had like 5 bottles n he was a bit pissed n neway he was chatting 2 sum of the girls n he went 2 leen on sumfin n he missed n fell over! n i woz like lol! n i txt britney n she woz like rofl! it woz sooooooo funny n all the housem8s were laffin at him n that. he laffed 2 cos hes gd like that n hes not up himself or nuffin. JIM 2 WIN!
the thin about Jim is i think hes well genuin n nice n hes the only 1 in there wivout a game plan. he dusnt get involved in ne of the bitchin. he had that 1 argument wiv that gobby cow n that woz it. hes also bin on like this jrney cos wen he went in no1 new him but now we do n hes not like normal nemore hes like jim. hes well fit 2. britney sed she met him when she applyed n he woz well fit but not like in the house cos he woz bigger n he looks small on telly cos tellys are smallr then life. n hes well sweet in rl life 2. britney sed hi to him when she saw him n he was all like hello n didnt tell her 2 piss off or nuffin. JIM 2 WIN!!!!!!!