From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Have you been wondering about the concering turn of events concerning our beloved fountain of knowledge? How capitalist pigs have been dealing in our livelihoods like they were commodities? Then listen in, fellow uncyclopedians.
From the dawn of time, there has always been someone trying to make money. And this someone will often take underhand methods to accomplish this. It would not be long before this came to the world of wikis. And soon this menace touched the surface of Uncyclopedia. This secretive group, this so called Cabal, effortlessly regulates the storage of the sum of all human knowledge and now imposes its control on you, the unpaid workers of this fine establishment. Yes, this shadowy conglomerate is the one known as Wikia.
Their reign of terror began with their seizure of the key to the throne of Uncyclopedia by force from the Grand Master. Having pulled the carpet from under our feet, now they threaten to reduce our great humour wiki in to statistics on balance sheets and shareholder dividends. Their careless and greedy attitude must be stopped. And they must be punished, oh they must be punished.
However, this is not all...
For when I mentioned that our glorious Grand Master lost possession (by force) of the key to the fountain, they abducted him and a couple of proud contributors. Locked away in Wikia-towers, poor Splaka and Sannse lie, rotting away.
Take a look around the wiki for yourself, ask the simple question to yourself - what is going on? What do you see? Do you no longer see the gleaming wiki of humour, or do you see another asset of the Giant Wikia Corporation? Is your every addition to improve now trademarked and patented, spoiled with adverts?
I'm sure you're feeling shocked by now - but the time has come for us to act!
edit A Call to Arms
No more shall this unjust state exist, no more shall disequilibrum be!
- We, the masses can rise up against the few who manipulate the system through extortion and fear of litigation. They may be powerful, they may rule with an iron fist, but in the end, we, the community, are unstoppable! No one shall get in the way, least they be mown down by the sheer force of our wrath!
- A new dawn will arise from your works, the fruits of your labour shall become apparent to us all, clear and majestic, so that the halls of knowledge that were built in uncyclopedia centuries ago, shall be puged and cleansed - made pure once more! They will be made anew, once again humourous! A golden age shall prevail! So let none stay your hands, my comrades, go forth and do what must be done! Make yourself known to all - for freedom and glory!
Harken to these words, and prepare for the bloody war to come.
Take up your weapons, climb on to your steed, and ride forwards to Wikiatowers.