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N.B. This is a more IRC-feely version -- This is not rigourously spell checked!
Good Evening, the time is 12:00 GMT and Welcome to the UnNews Midight Bulletin! I'm BarryC, your presenter for tonight, Today's date is May 6th/7th ---- On UnNews today our headlines are: Collection Synchronizations Expands Secure Donut Shredding Services Explosive Diarrhea epidemic sweeps Universe Mexico Declares "Seis De Mayo" a National Holiday New Guinea blamed for Tsunami panic in New Zealand Christian Chiropractors will crack for Jesus ---- Our highlighted article for tonight: New Guinea blamed for tsunami panic in New Zealand Tribes in New Guinea have been blamed for causing a prank Tsuanmi alert, after a tribesman blew a tremendous fart, whilst at a party, measuring 7.8 on the Richter TAMBR. To exacerbate matters, the tribesman then phoned into the local network, warning of an imeding disaster The story was passes on to Fox, who, wired tapped by rivals CNN, had their scoop stolen They then spent the next 5 hours squabling over who owned the story and consequently, wasted so much time that it finally occured to them that nothing had ahppened Fortunatlely, it was a false alarm even in kiwi land and nobody lost their heads. ---- Taking a look at other news sources now: The Headlines are: British troops clash in Basra, Iraq over a crashed helicopter Bush denies he squeezes out the Ex-CIA Chief The Anglican Church has again dodged the issue of Gay bishops Brazil has gone nuclear and UK Minister Tessa Jowel's husband, David mils says he will clear his wife;s name ---- Taking a look at the weather over tommorow: Its going to be sunny on the pacific Sunny/Overcast on the East coast And it will be raining in Liverpool tommorow ---- That's all for now, I'm BarryC and that was the inaugral UnNews Bulletin.