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You have nude massages.


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US flag This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)

Circle-contradict-all This article contradicts everything. Uncyclopedia encourages this, so please rewrite it so it contradicts nothing and your mom.

The author of this page is fucking insane. You can help by shooting him.

The 12 Fundamental Cheeses
*Not to be confused with "Holey" Cheese
The 3 Noble Cheeses
*Also known as "Negative Cheese" or "Dark Dematta"

99 April Fools Jokes
98 Firefox extensions
97 Foods
96 Gifts to give a friend
95 Harry Potter Spin-offs
94 Inventions
93 Locations
92 LOL Cats
91 Make Out Songs
90 Moments to get a Boner
89 Moments to Laugh
88 Money Making Schemes
87 Movies
86 Nonexistent Words
85 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
84 Nutty Conspiracy Theories
83 Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
82 Pick-up lines
81 Pokemon Cash-Ins
79 Things we learn from movies
78 Reasons to become a Christian
77 Reflections on 2005
76 Reflections on 2006
75 Reflections on 2007
74 Reflections on 2008
73 Reflections on 2009
72 Reflections on 2010
71 Reflections on 2011
70 Reflections on 2012
69 Reflections on 2013
68 Reflections on 2014
67 Rejected Harry Potter Novels
66 Remakes
65 Restaurants
64 Self Help Books
63 Sequels
62 Sexual Perversions
61 Short Poems
60 Sitcom Catchphrases
59 Songs
58 Songs about Seagulling
57 Songs Referencing Paedophilia
56 Songs To Have Sex To
55 Songs To Play At A Funeral
54 Spinoffs
53 Superheroes
52 Things About the '00s
51 Things Rick Astley is Never Gonna Do
50 Things to do during Christmas
49 Things to Put In An IV
48 Things To Say In Court
47 Things to Say in the Workplace
46 Things to say on a First Date
45 Toys
44 TV Programs
43 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
42 Video Games of all time‎
41 Video Game Movies
40 Video Game Systems
39 Ways To Be Castrated
38 Ways to be Circumcized
37 Ways to Deliver Bad News
36 Ways to Die (Best)
35 Ways to Die (Worst)
34 Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
33 Ways to Start a Novel
32 Ways to Win an Argument
31 Weapons
30 Rock Bands

I don't have much to say, but I *DO* have somethings to say about YOU!

  • <insert name here> really, really likes to huff kittens.
  • <insert name here> thinks that .Hack is really awesome.
  • <insert name here> is on here and not getting on with it with a girl. Loser.
  • Did I already mention <insert name here> is on here and not getting on with it with a girl and is a loser?
  • <insert name here> doesn't know a man is standing behind him with a knife.

Here is my page in all it's template glory! As you can see, I know everything about you, yes I .Hack knows your 4 deepest darkest secrets. Then again, it is kinda obvious. If you have come down this far on this piece of crap page

This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.

than you must know that I have found Jesus
But, I will not be releasing him anytime soon. Because he too, is not not allowed to edit my page, so if you edit my page you're gonna end up just like him, screwed. But, for the religious, I will bail him out for 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 dollars, but since not even the US National Government or Bill Gates aka The First Computer Geek the religious are screwed.


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