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OTTAWA, MANITOBA Pranksters who work for the Bank of Canada shocked and amused citizens of the northernmost North American Continent nation by infusing the green ink with which its banknotes are printed with lysergic acid dyethylmiode (LSD or, depending upon one's interpretation and chutzpah, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds), causing them to imagine seeing all manner of strange things in their currency.
The bank claims that there is method in its madness. The new bills were released, officials claim, to counter counterfeiting, extend the life of the bills, and celebrate Canada's dubious domestic achievements.
However, Canadians wondered why their dollars portrayed the World Trade Center, which is—or was—in New York City, rather than the Canadian National Vimy Memorial which commemorates the Canadian's one and only victory in World War I, the Battle of Vimy Ridge.
“That's an easy one,” Thomas Minton, a government official who requested anonymity, replied. “The buildings on the bill are the National Vimy Memorial, not the World Trade Center, and, besides, even if the buildings were the World Trade Center, rather than the National Vimy Memorial, which they are not, the newly released currency is intended to commemorate domestic successes, not military victories overseas.” (more...)
Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.
- *ahem*
Political correctness was invented for niggers, bitches, fags and retards. AIDS is good because it kills off all those dirty Niggers. All non-"white straight working for the man and having two kids in a nice family with a picket fence and a dog Christian males" should be killed
- *ahem*
Political correctness was brought in for blacks, women, gays and disabled people. People who follow PC should be killed. Black people should die. You are making me self censor myself bitch-
- *AHEM*
Political correctness was introduced for African-Americans, females, homosexuals and mentally or physically challenged persons, to avoid discrim-
- *AHEM*
DIE YOU MOTHER FUCKING POLITICAL CORRECT HOUND -
- *no no not the face AHHHHHHHHHH*
Now, as I was saying, Political correctness is based on the valid idea protected under principles of a civilized society proposed by progressive elements of society and empathic and sociable interest groups to promote civilized behavior and prevent exclusion towards minorities, disadvantaged members of society, and fellow human beings outside of one's own particular society. This responsible code of conduct prevents offensive or otherwise undesirable projections towards persons of specific demographics. (more...)
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| On this day...
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March 1: National Grue Day
- 64000000 BC - Gruegasauri roam the plains waiting for unsuspecting tourists.
- 32 - Jesus gets eaten by a Grue. He then comes back from the dead, only to be eaten by another Grue.
- 1349 - Jack the Ripper's antique collection of Mongolian archers features in Forbes Magazine. This, according to Tony Blair, "does not compute".
- 1632 Gruel is invented by the Grues of London to morph English Orphans into Grues after long periods of eating it. This plot might have worked, since after 1692, all British Orphans disappeared.
- 1777 - The last remnants of the British army are eaten by a Grue.
- 1823 - Vin Diesel eats a Grue, and slowly morphs into one.
- 1951 - Hitler develops the concept of luring Grues into attacking foes, thus allowing him to win World War 2.
- 1985 - Landmark decision in Some v. Pestilence: Court rules a person eaten by a Grue cannot be held legally responsible for death or injury related to ingestion.
- 1987 - Danny DeVito becomes the first human - grue transplant recipient after a hunting accident involving two midgets and a circus elephant.
- 1995 - Grues destroy Constantinople, rebuild it as Istanbul.
- 1997 - Scientists develop Grue-proof armor, and promptly get eaten by Eurgs.
- 1999 - Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a grue onstage, is promptly ignored as just another geek sideshow act.
- 2001 Joe Bob manages to slay a Grue, and is seconds later crushed by a falling rock.
- 2005 - Wales defeat the Grues 11-9 in a massive Six Nations Rugby upset. Unfortunately, the Welsh side are shortly after eaten by said Grues.
- 2006 'You are likely to be eaten by a grue' fever sweeps the nation.
- 2006 A grue creates uncyclopedia account. Then eats the account.
- 2007 - Another group of scientists develop armour that is both grue-proof and eurg-proof, so the universe implodes.
- 2009 - George W. Bush declared Grues to be "weapons of mass destruction".
- 2045 - The Dominant species of the planets are Grues, humans build big oven to cool humans for the feast of the Grues.
- AD 2101 - War was beginning. CATS battles the grues for control of the earth. The legendary Build-a-grue workshop opens during this time period.
- 2147- The grues are finally defeated- only to be replaced by the eurgs who then recreate grues to balance themselves.
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| Word of the Day
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Ash Wednesday
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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| Did you know...
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- ...that Alfred Hitchcock got his name from a parlour trick he would play featuring a belt, his genitals and a bicycle?
- ...that we're dedicating this sentence to you, mum, because where would we be without your micromanaging everything we did?
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