From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search


Oscar WildeBenjamin FranklinWinston ChurchillAlbert Einstein
Christopher WalkenSun-Tzu
Founding FathersMark Twain
Noel CowardArthur C. Clarke
William ShatnerYoda
Thomas Jefferson AristotleCharles Darwin
VoltaireJohn F. Kennedy
Keanu ReevesCaptain ObliviousNietzscheC-3PO


GodJesus ChristCthulhuSatan

See Also

HamletLast Words
MnemonicsHELPNew User Guide
ManualQuoting Policy


"Mah nizzle, fo'shizzle, hmmmmmmmm."

Lucrative source of quotes this Yoda is. Easily parodied by simple rearrangements of common sentence constructions, his sayings are.

Beyond this, no one can say. A mystery, his story is.

edit Yoda on himself

  • "Size matters not. At me, look. By my size judge me, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should, not. For my ally is Viagra, and a powerful ally is it."
  • "Green, I am."
  • "Good relations with the Wookiees, I have. Even better relations with the Furries, I have. Sexual relation with the young padawans, I have. Unable to tell the difference, I often am. Sometimes mistaken for a Plushie, am I."
  • "To exile, I must go. Failed, my blockbuster fight scene with the Dark Lord has."
  • "Swear by L'Oreal do I, because worth it I am!"
  • "Fat stupid ugly I may be, but insult never penis of mine, hmmm...!"
  • "Fat cow you are, bastard, yes? The father of yours, I know."
  • "Drunk now, I may be, but when wake up I do, sober will be I, and ugly, will you be still hmmmmmm."
  • "Tripod, am I."
  • "Landspeeder did fall out of, young was I. Pah! on head did land." - Yoda on his frontal lobe developmental issues.
  • "From Papa Yoda, syntax I learned"
  • "Talk backwards, I do."

edit Yoda on Dislike People Whom He Does!

  • "The light side she was in and powerful jedi she had become now. But indispensable now the dark side for her is to continue to live. Fat become she! Mistreats her children she does! Dyed her hair the slut stupid Hmmmmmmm! Must never dye a jedi his/her hair! Weaknesses it signifies!"
  • " Play the violin, Darth Vader can."
  • "Ungrateful son, Shrek is! Donkey's Dark Side he in is!"

edit Yoda on a Jedi being

  • "No anger a Jedi shall know, nor fear nor love nor. A bunch of old men grumpy, Jedi are."
  • "An apprentice, you are. A Master, you not are. Green skin and ears long pointy, a Master must have."
  • "In Soviet Russia, feel you the Force does!"
  • "Adventure?, huh! Excitement?, huh! Hmmmmmmm. A Jedi craves not these things. Now, a pair of hot green Twi'lek chicks a Yodi 'sandwich' making, a different story, is that!"
  • "Jedi? Made that word up to just cool sound, I did."

edit Yoda on Darth Vader

  • "Silly, his helmet looks."
  • "The last doughnut you saved for yourself, gone it has. Consumed Darth Vader by."
  • "The most powerful Jedi of all them, Vader was. Such a tragedy he turned to embrace the Dark Side... Become CEO of Wal-Mart, has he."
  • "Afraid you should not be, of man with black helmet."

edit Yoda on Princess Leia

  • "'Use the force! Use more force', told me she. Hmmmmmmm."

edit Yoda on Shit

  • "Happens, shit does."
  • "Do or do not... there is no doo-doo, yes?"
  • "Pain, suffering, death near I feel. Something terrible happened has. Oh, just ate what I. Hurry to the bathroom I must."

edit Yoda on Emma Watson

  • "A well-defined actress, she is; copy her, not even Senator Amidala can. Mean I, her career kick-off, you should look at!"
  • "Root her, I would."

edit Yoda on Warcraft

  • "Came from Draenor, I am not. Hide in the swamp world of Dagobah, I will."
  • "A level 40 dwarf, I am."

edit Yoda on Wikipedia

  • "Information encyclopedic? Accuracy factual? Jedi craves these things not."
  • "A tempting target for childish fanboy vandals, my biography is."
  • "That is why you fail. (Only cite verifiable sources, you should.)"

edit Yoda on Uncyclopedia

  • "Strong in this article, the Force is. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm"
  • "Feature page my, proud I am, lol (loud out laughing) do I."
  • "Named must your fear be before banish it you can. But with an Anonymous-IP wiki user, true this is not."
  • "Funny, I find this site... not."

edit Yoda on Everything!

  • "All their base to us, are belong."
  • "So fat, yo' momma Hmmmmmm."
  • "Shakespeare in spare time my, read I."
  • "Friday, Thank God is it."
  • "Bro, at me come!"

edit Yoda on Black Eyed Peas

  • "Will.I.Am, not am I. Though by him inspired, am I."

edit Yoda on Your Momma

  • "Good sack in, she is"
  • "Jump for joy, she did. I believe stuck, she got, hmmmmmm?"
  • "Blaaarghh...excuse me while throw up, I do"
  • " Your mom, doing I am"
Personal tools