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Last words from ignoble men, women, etc. throughout history.

People

Oscar WildeBenjamin FranklinWinston ChurchillAlbert Einstein
Christopher WalkenSun-Tzu
Founding FathersMark Twain
Noel CowardArthur C. Clarke
William ShatnerYoda
Thomas Jefferson AristotleCharles Darwin
VoltaireJohn F. Kennedy
Keanu ReevesCaptain ObliviousNietzscheC-3PO

Deities

GodJesus ChristCthulhuSatan

See Also

HamletLast Words
MnemonicsHELPNew User Guide
ManualQuoting Policy


“Hah. What are you going to do, kill me?”
~ Oscar Wilde
“This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Eventually one of us has to go!”
“...and now, Miss Moneypenny, you know why I always wanted my martinis served shaken and not stirred.”
“Alas, it looks like those unsubstantiated rumours about me are about to come true after all this time...”
“AAAAAAAHHHHHH”
“These are my last words.”
“I'll be back!”
“Hang on a minute, I'm just gonna take a short nap again...”
“It is not death that I'm apparently now succumbing to, but the rapid diminishment of lifeforce from this body of mine.”
“I'm dying?!?!?!
“I'm fine. I'm just waiting for Thanatos to come for a visit.
“I absolutely and unconditionally regret, remorse, and above all, am sorry for the truth and realization that I've neglected, dishonored, and ruined my chance, opportunity, and moment to spend my time on Earth, Terra, or the Earthly Realm with, amongst, and together among my offspring, scions, heirs, children, minors, sons, and daughters.”
“Go on. Kill me. You don't have the guts.”
~
“Me, dying? Oh, so I guess those vitamin C pills I took this morning didn't work after all...”
“Don't worry I'll just come out of the ground later and recite Thriller”
“I just got a splendid idea: I'll just retcon myself into an immortal elf and head off for Valinor! Quickly, where is my pencil?”
Clark, there is something important I never got to tell you. You have to hear it: I... am... Batman...”
“Tune in, turn on, drop out.”
“I was a lifelong atheist, so chances are, I'll be meeting other people.”
“I'll prove to Leonard once and for all that you can swim even with rocks stuffed into your clothes.”
“Thank God these tickets were free, Mary. This play really su...”
“Yeah, yeah, I know the Mafia is pissed and all that over my legislation. But for God's sake, Jackie, I'm the friggin' president! They can't lay a finger on m...”
Wolf in sheeps clothing

"You guys, surely that strange new member who joined our flock today has some unusually nasty sharp teeth for being a sheep, doesn't he?" – A sheep (translated from Baaish language).

“I am dying, you claim? Do you have a neutral secondary source to back up that unverified, biased statement?”
~ A Wikipedia editor
“Oh, NO!!!”
“Hulk not dying! Hulk is the strongest there is! Hulk SMASH puny Grim Reaper! Puny Grim Reaper makes Hulk mad!”
“Emma, have you ever had a feeling that my entire lifetime of work will only lead to more racial hatred, pseudoscience, and hilarious nonsense?”
“I only regret that I have but one life to give to a global corporate empire of the future.”
~ Nathan Hale
“The only thing I hate more than cosmic evil is those pretentious hippies who mindlessly holler names of Hindu deities without giving a shit as to why.”
“I just hope those godforsaken Chinamen won't depict me with a friggin' beer belly. I mean, seriously, even in my hedonistic days I never reached the obesity mark.”
“Dear passengers, this is just a minor turbulence. We will reach the airport in half an hour.”
~ A flight attendant
“Are you ready for a noose sensation?”
~ Michael Hutchence
“The fuck was that all about?”
“I told you I was ill.”
“who are you, shoving a gun in my face?!”
~
“I LIVE
“What an artist dies in me.”
~ Nero
“Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Well whatever it is, it's headed straight for us.”
~ Manager of the World Trade Centre
“Take your shoes off, you're in a -”
“Got nailed eventually.”
“Aye, aye, a scratch, a scratch.”
~ Mercutio
“O I am slain.”
~ Polonius, auditioning for the role of Captain Obvious in his final moments
“O yet defend me friends, I am butt-hurt.”