From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Unquotable's collection of gravestone
epitaphs shows the depths to which some people will sink when confronted with the truth of their own mortality. Even the great
Jean Paul Sartre — whose epitaph probably reads, "
Merde!" — was known to carve things in stone on occasion, just to amuse his Marxist pals, usually while piss-drunk.
Please note that not all epitaphs here are for people who are actually dead, at least not at the time they were written. In many cases, they are actually suggestions for the person in question, who may be looking for free epitaph-writing help from members of the public at large. By all means, please feel free to add some suggestions of your own.
edit Celebrities
| Ed McMahon
| Just scratch this headstone! You may already have won $10,000,000!
|
| Elmo
| Hello, everybody! Elmo is dead!
|
| Arnold Schwartzenegger
| Hasta la vista, baby.
|
| "Andrew Gamache"
thats what she said
|
| Andy Rooney
| Didja ever wonder what it'd be like to be really, really dead? I did.
|
| Carl Sagan
| Out of the billions and billions of epitaphs I had to choose from, I just had to pick this one.
|
| Keith Richards
| Don't worry, I still look exactly the same.
|
| Jack Klugman
| It's a HOMICIDE!!!
|
| Shirley MacLaine
| In my next life, I'll be a famous corpse
|
| Bill Gates
| I have fallen to the Blue Screen of Death...
|
| Greta Garbo
| I want to be alone.
|
| Homer Simson
| D'OH!!!
|
| Batman
| To the BATGRAVE Robin!
|
| Spike Milligan
| I told you I was ill.
|
| Stephen Colbert'
| No sparky!
|
| Steve Balmer
| Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers!
|
| Steve Jobs
| iDied
|
edit Historical Figures
| Descartes
| Je ne pense pas... (I think not...)
|
edit Zork Related People
| Zork Player
| I hate that grue!
|
edit Uncyclopedians
| Sir Bradaphraser
| Oh shit, wrong link.
|
| Sir Uncyclopedia
| Wikipedia has nothing on the power of the Pop Bomb
|
| Some user
| How many times do I have to come back before you finally believe that this is the last time I'm leaving?
|
| Oscar Wilde
| Roses are red, violets are blue; I am now dead, and soon you'll be too
|
| The Humbled Master
| Sidney Trammell be damned, someone call an ambulance!
|
| Uncyclopedian
| Too many N...R...V...s....
|
| Zork Implementor L
| *** I have died ***
|
| Metalface
| I knew I shouldn't have lit the red candle!
|
| Captain BatFuck Insane
| Eyebeams quick
|
| Fraser Aidney
| loving husband, devoted mother of three
|
| Captain Obvious
| Here lies Captain Obvious. Since he is laying here, he is not laying anywhere other than here and he is dead. Since he is dead, he is no longer living. Therefore, the dead (not living) body of Captain Obvious is laying here (not anywhere else), and is dead.
|
| 4.252.99.182
| go eat shit fuckers
|
| Some user named Adam
| Damn, I should have forwarded that
|
