Unorail

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“Fools ignore Unorails; pragmatists suffer it; experts avoid it;

geniuses remove it.”

Unorail is a term coined in 1876, and is commonly used today by many people. It should not be confused with monorail.

edit Origin

While many believe that unorail derives from the Spanish word "uno" meaning uno, and the English word rail, meaning rail, this is certainly not the case. The term unorail was penned by James Earl Jones in the year 1876, while filming Star Wars Episode 9: A New Pope. During the filming, Jones was consuming a large quantity of ostrich wings when indigestion hit. Unfortunately, he was struck so bad, he was unable to speak, and was only able to utter "unorail". The paramedics used this sparse information to find the source of the James Earl Jones pain, and were able to save him. By unorail, Jones was referring to his intestines, which are sometimes referred to as a seres of tubes, or internets.

edit Usage Today

Unorail station

An Unorail station with parking for commuters.

Today, unorail is used in many Spanish speaking countries, as well as Ireland and the United States. In Spanish speaking countries, it is a term used to describe the American monorail. A prime example is in Disney World Mexico City, where the most popular rides are the Unorail of Progress, and Unorail Mountain. The latter is a winding monorail ride in the dark, which reaches break-neck speeds of 15 gallons per hour.

In the United States and Ireland however, unorail is a slang term for an assortment of things. While no definitive definition that is definitive has been recorded, it has been heard used when discussing topic such as: drugs, sex, James Earl Jones, video games, transportation, and the internet. Many internet-goers have been known to refer to the internet as the unorail, describing the wire, or rail-like properties of the internet. Until Webster's Dictionary can officially document the true meaning of the term, English scholars and lay people agree: the word is stupid.

edit References in Popular Culture

  • When translated to Spanish, the Simpsons episode Marge vs. the Monorail is entitled Marge vs. the Unorail.
  • Unorail Cat, a popular internet meme, and lol cat.
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