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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

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Friday, June 24, 2016, 13:50:59 (UTC)

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Nigefarage
LONDON -- The Leave campaign has won the referendum and the UK will quit the European Union, after 40 years of squabbling and free limousines.

God, as always a stalwart for Remain, strategically flooded London just as the polls opened. However, enjoying live footage of the Environment Agency's office up to its windows in sewage, the rest of England gleefully ticked the other box. Full story»

Hard for Europe - Enda Kenny
DUBLIN, Ireland -- Eire's Enda Kenny says that he wants to avoid an exit of his green island from the European Union, as it means he will then have to actually run it. His master plan is to enter the United Kingdom, a step that he calls Brentry.

Mr Kenny envisaged that the name of the new nation could be the European Union of Great Britain, and that it could have a common currency, which he proposed to call the euro. Full story»

March30palace
UnNews Logo Potato1NAVELISM
WIKIA CITY, California -- British Uncyclopedians, in harmony with their nation's recent vote to withdraw from the EU, have walked out of Uncyclopedia.

"We are sodding off, as there is bugger-all reason to stay," said one prolific author from Scotland, prompting a haughty scolding from an American Admin that writing in code is cryptic and never funny. Full story»


Brexit-800x500
LONDON -- If you’ve already made up your mind on whether the UK should leave the EU, good, you obviously don’t give a toss, beyond what Lorraine Kelly has to say about the price of a sparkly little black dress.

Otherwise, here is the definitive Un-rundown of the pros and cons. Full story»

Moneyrain
LONDON -- In the run-up to the 23 June referendum, George Osborne claimed a Brexit vote could cost every household the price of a new bathroom, while telling the BBC to air more home improvement shows.

But a new paper suggests that, if the studies had not confirmed the cost, Mr Osborne would instead have forecast starvation and directed the Beeb to broadcast more bake-offs. Full story»

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About UnNews
Created by the Uncyclomedia Foundation

UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

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TV Highlights June 24


Horizon: Investigation into whether Microbiology exists elsewhere in the Universe Science Documentary
BBC 3 7:00 PM GMT
Brian Cox gets an insight into the search of microbiology on other planets.

Who wants to be Abducted by an Alien Quiz Show
ITV1 5:00 PM GMT
A quiz show in which celebrities compete to be kidnapped by ET! (Warning: This programme is for entertainment purposes only and does not support the fact that alien life exists).

Aliens: A daily struggle to survive! Science Documentary
Channel 5 8:00 PM GMT
We meet Alan and Dave, random people off the street who claim they are aliens, to obtain true, scientifically proven facts about alien serial killers living in the Midlands with dramatic narration and the theme from Dracula playing on repeat in the background.

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