Unlucky Numbers
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Never believe that your lucky numbers are unlucky. The only unlucky numbers are undee, terg, triff, faagool, jfiv, skix, spleven, estorch, ninook, & zercatch. They're unlucky because they didn't make the cut as numbers, despite their being infinite numbers!
edit Supposedly Unlucky Numbers
- 13 — The number 13 being unlucky was contrived by cowards to scare children & make themselves feel big. The height of 13 paranoia was in the 1970s when calculators were introduced. The original run of calculators by Texas Instruments didn't have 1s or 3s because they didn't want anyone to do math with unlucky 13. They were afraid if they did it would collapse the consistency of mathematics itself & fill all row boats with goo. Unluckily, the mathematical formula that disproved the theory had the number 13 in it.
- 40 — This number is fabled to be unlucky as perpetuated by ageists & thermodynamics. But 40 is the new 20! And 20 is never unlucky unless you're playing blackjack & accidentally say, "Hit me."
- 1: The Loneliest Number — Scientists have determined that the true loneliest number is actually 19. Because when you're at a party with 19 people & have no one to pair off with & talk to you're far lonelier than when you're by yourself. However 19 is not an unlucky number because it is awesome to be 19 years old & to have 19 pieces of pizza.
- (Your Lottery Number) — The truth is your number suffers from conditional luckiness. Use it for something other than the lottery & see good fortune fly your way.
edit The future of Unlucky Numbers
Mathimagicians predict that the number 52 will become unlucky in 2019. And if you're reading this in 2019, for corndog sakes please update this article & tell us if it was true!