Universalism

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Universalism.

Absolute and total Universalism is the absolute belief in that there is a natural order to things. That the entire universe is suspended on a delicate balance. Universalism is actually evolved from Atheism. In Universalism, there is no god, there is no weekly congregation at some sort of church assembly, in fact, it is only known that there is one person in the Universalist religion and that is The One Most Corrupted. He acts as both follower and leader.

edit The Beliefs

edit Creation

Although nobody probably cares, this is how the Universalists see the world's creation...

In the beginning of our world, there was nothing. A gap and void. The planet we know today was created as science theorizes. A lot of particles gathered, forming the planet. Then came the dinosaurs, then came the giant-ass asteroid, then came us. With that all said with not too much crap detail, on to more beliefs.

edit Is There A God?

No! There never was, never is, and never shall be. We can get along just fine without a frackin god telling us what we should and should not do. There is, however, a natural balance to the entirety of the earth that has once kept the planet from destroying itself. But now, thanks to people, the world will eventually collapse and it will end up like Mars.

edit The Natural Flow

In the absence of an omnipotent being, the universe seems to be just fine. I mean, our planet isn't dead yet, right? "But but how can there be a natural flow without some superpower behind it?" you ask... Well, Universalism has an answer to that too. IT JUST FREAKIN IS. It's just like asking "How does God exist in YOUR religion?". The universe is an infinite expanse and thus, there are infinite possibilities.

edit The Afterlife

Hell no. You really think that after living one life that you actually deserve another? You think you're just entitled to this post-mortem conscious form? Of course you aren't! It can't be earned either. Technically, there is an afterlife, but you can't enjoy it. There's no heaven or hell to go to. You would do nothing but mope around, doing the exact same thing on a regular basis (like most of you already do).

edit Rules and Laws

Despite the fact that there is no god in this religion, there are many rules and laws that should be abided by.

1. Respect nature! All our planet needs is just a little respect.

2. Protect the environment. I'm not expecting you to tie yourself to a tree or anything, but just so long as no animals go extinct, it's all good.

3. Respect peers of the opposite gender. Mostly for guys, actually. Respect women, and you'll probably get a good one to hold on to.

4. One Religion. Universalism is a religion in which you cannot claim partial belief in. It drastically conflicts with many other beliefs so if you claim dual religionship, then you're not one of us.

5. Obey all said rules and laws.

6. Create a better environment for your fellow humans. We all know racism is stupid. Just be nice to a lot of people and they'll more than likely be nice right back to you. It's kinda one of those, you give it and you get it back. If the niceness is not returned, however, you have every right to pound the non-nice-person's face into the concrete.

edit Marriage

Yay! On to the fun stuff. Basically, it is as follows to make everyone happy...

  • Men can marry as many women as they like
  • Women can marry as many men as they like
  • Gays and lesbians are tolerated to the extent of one partner

edit Punishment

If you break the laws, then you are just one hell of a sad person that really needs to die. We don't need mean, nasty people that kill innocent bunnies just for the hell of it... although it does sound fun. But more relative to the point, if you disobey the rules, you are no longer a Universalist if you were one to begin with.

edit See Also

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