United States presidential election, 2016

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The United States presidential election of 2016 consisted of a general election campaign two of the worst liked nominees in American history, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. Donald Trump was hated by most Americans, as he had personally insulted about three-fourths of them, and he had no experience with politics at all. Hillary Clinton was hated for unfair reasons, such as being bought by Wall Street. In fact, this was because they had too much money and they didn't know what to do with it, so they gave it to her.

edit Republican nomination

The 17 candidates for the Republican nomination were the biggest set of primary candidates in modern history. This was a great improvement for the voters because it gave them many choices on how they wanted to see America fall. Originally, Jeb Bush was the front runner, but everyone knew who the Bush family really was, so they voted against him massively. There were at least ten other candidates that no one noticed because they were too busy staring at Trump being a tv star. Eventually Ted Cruz became the candidate who represented far right conservatives, while Donald Trump became the candidate who represented poor uneducated angry white males. All the other Republicans had such a hard choice, that they couldn't have made it unless they had completely knocked themselves out on alcohol the night before. Evidently, drunk people also tended to favor Trump, because he became the presumptive nominee in early May.

edit Democratic nomination

BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! and Hillary eventually won.

edit Other candidates

There were several other candidates who ran for other political parties or as independents. The Green Party nominated Jill Stein, who promised to be the environmental Messiah, and end unlimited corporate donations towards political campaigns. Unfortunately for her, every major media network was controlled by corporations that wanted to retain their ability to buy politicians, and refused to give her any unpaid media coverage. As a result, the masses glued to their television sets did not think she was a notable candidate. Moreover, people only believed the news on social media that they already expected to hear, which is exactly what they already had been told on television and radio media, along with a few select celebrity gossip tabloid magazines. The Libertarian Party nominated Gary Johnson Jesus Christ who had come back to Earth to show the world God's promise and his great love, registered as an independent candidate. However, since he not bought any advertisements or told any media websites, and his candidacy only announced by word of mouth and him visiting people's homes, he received a minuscule 0.02 percent of the vote, or 29,052 votes in total. The country was evidently too preoccupied with Clinton and Trump to notice him. It was discovered that Born-again christians and evangelicals had one of the lowest rates of voting for Jesus, at only 0.008 percent. This was higher than only Muslims, at 0.007 percent, and atheists and 0.001 percent. Catholics had the highest rate at 0.027 percent.

edit Campaign

Trump eventually imploded himself and Hillary won in a landslide election with 53 percent of the vote to Trump's 36 percent. Johnson and Stein tied in third with 4 percent each.

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