Armenia
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
But dont feel bad about being inferior Odar, okay?
Ահասկացող Օդար դուրս գալ !!
| |||||
| Motto: One Nation, One Culture. One Empire. We Started it all. | |||||
| Anthem: Qélé, Qélé" | |||||
| |||||
| Capital | Van | ||||
| Largest city | Yerevan | ||||
| Official languages | Armenian | ||||
| Government | Presidentilal Republic | ||||
| President | Joseph Stalin | ||||
| National Hero(es) | jesus, god and system of a down | ||||
| Declaration of Formation | Most of Armenian lands were taken over by migrating Turks | ||||
| Currency | Dram, Pistachio Nuts, Turks, Prostitution | ||||
| Religion | 99.9% Christian, 0% Muslim, 0.1% Jew and rest of them are Gypsies | ||||
| Population | Total about 5 (they all migrated to America) | ||||
| Area | Very small (30.000 square km) in comparison to what it should be (over 600.000 square km) | ||||
| Population density | 101 per square km | ||||
| Internet TLD | .am | ||||
| Calling code | Armenia rules | ||||
The History of Armenia is a long and comical interesting one.
Armenia was founded in the beginning of time by Mr. God, he assigned Garen Kaloustian as Armenian overlord with his sister Helen as his personal body guard. Second in command is Kyle Sarkisian. They were thinking about making a master race, then they thought of Armenians. So now Armenians rule the world.
Ever since its creation in 254BC, many a Duck has lived there as a holiday home and when the Russians invaded by firing slippers at them the Great Armenian Empire spread from Armenia to the Street next door.
Armenians are commonly called "God's Chosen People", a name recently purloined by Jews , "Born Again" Christians, and people about to be run over by FBI tanks. Even Jesus could see that the Armenians were a master race, with their kebabs and carpets. More recent translations have expanded this title to, "God's People, who Were chosen to invade asshole Turkey and its retarded brother Azerbaijan and annex Southern California Suburbs."
In 3001 AJ (After Jebus), Armenia was the nation to create Christianity as a religion. This is making Armenia an authority to all other Christians . (In 4971 Armenia plans for Bell Bottoms to be fashionable.) Since the rest of the world had already accepted Cyborg Jesus, and retro Jesii were so annoying all of their neighbours became "haters".
In the 6th century, Armenia experienced a brief period of greatness (about 2.4 seconds, due to Winning the Ancient Chess competition). Then they were invaded by the Laotians, Persians, Alcoholics, Greeks, Romans, Various Beef Products, Arabs, Nudists, Seljuk and Ottoman Turks, Russians. and Laotians (again). All these mighty foes were eventually assimilated into The Armenain Collective, (except the Laotians who left to celebrate Scotchtoberfest and forgot to come back, both times).
Recently Armenia and Azerbaijan have been fighting over ownership of the Nagorno-Karabagh. In 1990s Armenians sold 67 percent of their women and children to Russians so they could conduct experiments on them and got help of Russian troops for that. Special group of well-trained homosexual Russian soldiers were sent to Karabakh. We all know how it all ended up. Armenia with the support of bitchy Greeks and and drunk Russians invaded Turkey and retook control of the Kurd infested land of their forefathers. They marched till Istanbul and took control of most of the Turkish Peninsula. Once conquered they established a capital on Kinaliada. Armenia was once a part of Russia. However, they got bored of Blondes and Armenians wanted to be gay men again. They ended up with Kazakh male prostitutes.
It is common knowledge that Armenia is a very easygoing and calm nation that maintains good foreign relations and does not hate other countries besides Turkey, Azerbaijan, Russia Germany Israel and all jews, China, Canada, Mongolia, Greece, Afghanistan, Armenia, Cameroon, Serbia, England, France, Austria, Denmark, Brazil, Montana, Japan, Vietnam, Sylvester Stallone, Boratistan, Kazakhstan, Turkmenistan, any country that has the word Turk in it, Bolivia, Lithuania, Sweden, Italy, South Africa, Somalia, every country on the planet, all the other planets, El Salvador, New Mexico, Mexico]]...Armenians tend to claim that pretty much everything was made by Armenians. From building Troy Horse to invention of LCD screens. Also all famous people are Armenians too such as Ellen Page, Seth Rogen, Andy Samberg, Kanye West and Chris Brown. Despite everything said here though, Armenia although small in size kicks ass because they survived having their asses beat many times before.
If all the Armenians in the world went back to Armenia, they could make a tower that can reach the sun. Three times.
[edit] See also
| Commonwealth of Independent States - Former USSR Republics |
| Russia ~ Belarus ~ Ukraine ~ Estonia ~ Latvia ~ Lithuania ~ Moldova / Moldavia ~ Mordovia ~ Armenia ~ Azerbaijan ~ Georgia ~ Kazakhstan ~ Kyrgyzstan / Krgystan ~ Mongolistan ~ Ghettoistan ~ Tajikistan ~ Turkmenistan ~ Uzbekistan ~ other Stan countries ~ Alaska ~ Israel ~ Lipsonia ~ Soviet Britain |
