United Arab Emirates
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“Is this supposed to be United Arab Emirates?!! Where the f*&^ are the Arabs? I now officially rename this country as the United Pakistani/Indian Emirates! ”
~ UN General Secretary angry at the false advertising of the country in tourist brochures and the false name the Emiratis submitted to the Official Registry of Nations in New York
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| Motto: Kill, Throw, Hide | |||||
| Anthem: "Throw the money Down the Well" | |||||
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| Capital | Mumbai | ||||
| Previous capital | Takhar Province | ||||
| Largest city | Sinapoor | ||||
| Official languages | Indian, Urdu | ||||
| Government | Money-Free giving state. | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Sheikh Ehsanullah Ali Khan | ||||
| Declaration | |||||
| Currency | Dirham burham | ||||
| Religion | Deira City Center/Burj Dubai-84% Money-5%, Islam-10%,Others-1% | ||||
| Area | 249 000 916 inches | ||||
| Major exports | Oil. | ||||
| Major imports | Western Bull$hit, Prostitutes, Indians, Phillipin-hoes. | ||||
The United Arab Emirates, or UAE, is a pile of sand located on the Persian Gulf with some extremely hip, tall, and shiny buildings. Though the highly sanctimonious some communists consider it an Arab country, it is largely inhabited by South asians with; either pointy eyes or/ and ridiculous accents.
UAE became a very rich country since discoveries of excessive oilhowever since the camels of UAE returned to their abode within the deserted plains of Arabia, UAE has relied on it's tourism. This consists of bamboozling white people to stay in hotels of fake gold and providing them with a fantastic night life.
In addition to the pointless above the UAE became a international golf professionals, hideous architecture, and immense amounts of camel dung and a very attractive country ruled by an imaginary ruler called Sheikh Burt bin Eduhm Al Afganistani, better known as Sheikh George bin laden.
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[edit] History
In 1975 a cook named George al Bush inta Hitler Khomeini stumbled upon a thick liquid juice called oil. With his numerous wives he decided to create a land called Abu Dubai - father of dubai. Then the Al Maktoums bin Stalin Al Castro family arrived to discover billions of golden grains. -we call this sand- After much fighting and bestiality rendezvous with reluctant Arabs, the camels decided to move on and give way to Indians and Other oriental people and a machine called land cruisers, the pimp mobiles of UAE. The rest as they say is a mass of buildings.
[edit] Geography
Lost in the sand, discovered by US Marine Capt. Chuck Norris, sighted while delivering a roundhouse kick to a Bedouin in Oman. While stumbling forth across the borders, he blundered into a tent and was offered Machboos by a shepherd's wife, which he ate gratefully.
[edit] Current news
The people of UAE have too much cash in the ass and are always bored so they often turn into Prostitutes. when some are bored they come up with very brilliant ideas such as making a 2000m buildings or making islands on water in the shape of a palm tree and world islands. The island booking has attracted people across the world and is now filled with the long que of the beggars from Hollywood including David Beckham. The Emirati people also have a very great challenge to other countries, when they see that some one with a higher building than them they go like "No problem, take 3 billion and build a nice 5000m building in 2 days, get slaves from Malu land". The UAE is also notable that they give away money to the poor and building schools and hospitals all over the poor countries to show how money-free giving they really are.
The UAE is notable in the fact although it is a fantastic country to drive in , with cheap petrol and cheap cars, although it is the hardest country in the world to get a driving license. 4 million lessons must be completed and you are required to fail at least 1 million times, the only person who has managed to pass did so in 1981. Not to mention the very sweet traffic were 5000 cars are required to pass through one lane and the risk of having your car detained for at least 30 days for passing a red light.
[edit] Internet Censorship
Internet is blocked in the UAE. Most sites experience overwhelming amounts of ████████████. This is due to ████████ being a ██████ and a big fat ███████████er. Sites that include ██████ography, Jews, your views and other ██████. Typically this may result in violent ██████ ████████████with harsher ██████ing from the ██████████████████.
In music stores all across the country, Shakira, Pink, Ashantee, and all other sexy woman have their chest, arms, legs and other flesh bearing areas coulored in- in perminasnt marker. All woman are covered in black dresses accept for philipeno women and there's only so much wanking you can do thinking about the philipeno's.
[edit] Emirates
The United Arab Emirates is made up from 7 emirates.
- Abu Dhabi *Most greedy, plus own the country for some off reason*
- Dubai *Also very greedy, build the burj al burj burj burj burj something or other burj towers*
- Sharjah *Less greedy, with terrible traffic heading to Dubai just to visit the burj al burj burj burj burj something or other burj towers*
- Ajman *Less greedy, contains absolutely nothing remarkable exept a mutated camel*
- Um Al-Quwain *Least greedy, contains a cheaper alternative to Wild Wadi which gives you weird plastic burns*
- Ras Al Khaimah *No one lives here, its near the mountains, Mangoatcamel ate everyone *
- Fujairah *See above, but has an amazing Iranian restaurant that resembles a hotel out of The Flintstones. *
[edit] New projects
Up coming projects for the UAE, mostly located in Dubai.
- Over 9,000 mini-islands shaped to form islands in the shape of your mom.
- Dubai Land, A pile of sand that is 9,000 times bigger than Disney.
- Dubai Metro; A train in construction in Dubai.
- Universal studio, where all the great characters(like Supperman, Bathman, Taarzan etc.) will alive again.
- A 5000 floor McDonald's (largest in the world).
- The biggest child in the world (Name- Scot Anderson).
- The largest melon in the world.
- A building that is so high it will never be finished. (Completion date: 2121).
- A house made entirely out of $1,000 dollar bills.
- A big pile of shit.
- The biggest hand in the world.
[edit] More on Dubai
Dubai is what happens when globalism and capitalism meet up together, talk about their insecurities, win thousands playing craps at the casino and then go abso-fucking-lutely berserk in an orgy of mergers and leveraged buyouts. If you want to know more about Dubai, think of all of the worst excesses of American culture and corporate flight to regulation-free havens and combine it with the extreme repressiveness of North Korea, China or Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. Add a dash of pie-eyed cartooniness, mix in three tablespoons of epsom salts and sprinkle with flagrant human rights violations. Simmer at a cool 105 degrees in the summer heat. What happens in Dubai stays in Dubai's jails.
Other notable places in Dubai are as follows:
- Dubai Media City - Where the media circuses are held (and censored)
- Dubai Internet City - Where serial tubes are made.
- Dubai Airport City - Or is it Dubai City Airport?
- Dubai Place Where Very Tall Buildings Are City - Which is the place where very tall buildings are
- Dubai Machine World City - From where the machines will mount harvests on humanity's scientifically-proven net positive energy balance, converting them into movie product placements.
- Dubai Sand City - Not so much a city as just a lot of sand...
- Dubai Pragmatic Geographic Name City - It is what it is.
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