Unite Against Fascism

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Uaf-freedom

Destroying free speech.

“They look like if I touched them they would be sticky.”
~ Oscar Wilde on the UAF
“Copy of this weeks Socialist Worker, comrade?"”
~ A member of the UAF
“We hate all fascists and Nart-zees... unless they happen to be brown people, then we love them”
~ The UAF Mission Statement

Unite Against Fascism or "Usless Annoying Fuckwits" is a group in Great Britain renowned for their refusal to wash, and being down right smelly. It is thought they originate from an island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, where the natives bred a horse with a human, resulting in the extremely ugly women who belong to this group. Please note, when observing a group of UAF foraging for food (usually around large industrial waste bins), it can be very difficult to distinguish the male of the species from the female. There are a few exceptions to this rule and occasionally you may spot a UAF female who is actually quite fit. However, she will invariably be a wannabe radical feminist so far up her own arse she can brush her teeth from the other side, have no sense of humour whatsoever and will be offended at EVERYTHING YOU SAY.

They are known for their addiction to cocaine and Crystal meth (habits they have only picked up since going to university, their lack of experience and intelligence leading them to believe that all drugs are as harmless as weed). Their main support comes from none too bright, middle class students and corrupted mainstream UK political parties. They plan to import members of every nation and creed two by two just like Noah, in an attempt to make the UK a multicultural hell hole. It describes itself as a national campaign with the aim of annoying everyone it comes into contact with, and accusing all that oppose it of being a racist or a 'Nart-zee' (see below)

edit Nart-zees

Nart-zee is the southern word for Nazi and appears several times on nearly every placard and piece of literature the UAF produces. Their intention in this was no doubt to shock people into action, but because the UAF is run by idiots they've actually managed to desensitise the public to the word. Well done, fuckwits!

edit Socialism (allegedly)

Many members of the UAF claim to be committed socialists (UAF is in fact a front for the Socialist Workers Party, set up so they could flog more copies of their stupid fucking paper). However, these people are in fact mostly Southern, middle class wankers who are playing at being a bit radical whilst studying at university. The SWP actually delight in this as it means more than two people might turn up to one of their meetings, providing there is a university nearby. When those 3 years are up, most will return home to Buckinghamshire with a 2.2 in [insert name of pointless non-degree here] and start a cushy job in Daddy's company.

edit Chanting

The UAF are only capable of communicating through chants, most of which don't rhyme or say anything constructive. For example; "The BNP is a Nart-zee party, smash the BNP! Anyone wishing to join the UAF is required to learn their complete list of chants (of which there are 3) and must pass a test which involves standing outside a mosque or Islamic community centre shouting the chants into a megaphone covered in SWP stickers until at least 10 people have told them to fuck off.


edit Rioting

UAFMarch202010

The police try to remove this UAF supporter for a wash.

Unite Against Fascism (UAF) are largely comprised of white hippies that somehow find the money and time to leave their squats to help further the cause of 'white bashing', by following the EDL and the BNP around the country in The Partridge Family bus, generally resorting to violence and rioting when no one pays any attention to them. Even being attacked by Muslims they claim to be helping, because they forget that they are just infidels too.

It's become a nationalist joke in the UK to call these people "anti-fascist" as they're more fascist and thuggish than any other group in the country. They can normally be recognised by their pungent smell, the trail of used heroin needles behind them, hippy drum circles and annoying chants.

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