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Welcome to the Undictionary, an ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z *

E Edit

  • The commonest letter in the alphabet, the least common letter in alphabet soup and just one of many, many letters in alphabetti spaghetti. Hard to believe, I know. Also, the easiest letter to tap out in Morse Code, being three dashes, followed by two dots, a single dash and three further dots. Thank God for the telephone.
  • A popular form of weekend entertainment.

Eargasm Edit

  • A sensation experienced when listening to good music.

Earthling Edit

  • A disparaging and politically incorrect term for Terran.
  • Earthlings have two sexes, one male and the other female. Males can be recognized because they have a wormlike thing just in front of where their legs meet. It’s called a penis. It’s like our tentacles but much smaller. Females don’t have this wormlike thing. Instead they have two things called breasts on their chests. These are as wide as a tentacle but much shorter. Each sex calls the other sex the Opposite sex. Earthlings further have crazy heads. On one side is a face with two eyes a nose and a mouth. There’s fibrous stuff called hair on the other side. The eyes are fixed inside the skull, not on nice eyestalks like ours. Inside the mouth are sharp things called teeth. Remarkably Earthlings generally think their heads and faces look attractive. We should not allow ourselves to be prejudiced against Earthlings despite their bizarre appearance.

Earth Edit

  • Mostly harmless.
  • A planetary nursery for infants and gods.
  • Used as a dumping ground for angels.

Ease Edit

  • A fictional Cockney villain. As in Ease he does it.
  • Slang name for Ecstasy tablets

Eastenders Edit

  • British TV soap used by the government to show the country how life could be a lot worse thus promoting the feel good factor.
  • The opposite of Entertainment

East End, The Edit

Eazy E Edit

  • A short lived line of comfortable chairs made by La-Z-Boy.
  • In Australia, the term "Eazy E" is used to describe a situation where anybody has sexual relations with a drug dealer for the sole benefit of free Ecstasy tablets.
  • The slang word "Eazy E" is used as its commonly known that drugs dealers will take home anybody for sexual relations, & that the said drug dealer will soon OD, resulting in no living proof of the sexual relations you had, hence obtaining "E" this way is "Eazy".

Ebarfulate Edit

  • To suddenly and vehemently spew out vomit or barf from a living body in an orgasmic, jerking or involuntary motion in reaction to a particularly foul or offensive sequence of words or events - while conducting E-business. Not to be confused with iBarfulate, which is the same thing except while using an iPod.

Ebay Edit

  • A place where losers go to buy crap that is either stolen or has passed through the digestive tract of 7 different animals. The place to buy anything your mind can think of. They sell frickin' jets on Ebay!

Eco-friendly Edit

  • The act of being filthy rich while pretending to save the planet. Eco-friendly people are pricks, and if women, with fake tans and silicon boobs. Think Bono and Geldof.

Ecognomics Edit

  • Bio-degraded gnomes using calculators to spell Boobs and then applying for jobs in the World Bank.

Economic Stimulus Edit

  • Something for President Obama to create in his spare time.
  • Money that's not in your pocket to spend on Jolly Ranchers.

Edelweiss Edit

  • A tool used for gripping things in Austria.

Edrivered Edit

  • The act of using construction tools to destroy a computer in a fit of rage induced by a slow loading time.

Education Edit

  • The approved method for banishing literacy and numeracy from a society.

Edumacation Edit

  • The process by which one becomes edumacated, or smarts, the achievement of which is generally marked by a gradumacation ceremony.

EEEEEEEEEEE Edit

  • The sound made by a balloon after you've blown it up and you let the air out by stretching the blowtube until it's almost closed. Coincidentally, you can get precisely the same sound by standing on a young child while holding a smallish engine from a Japanese car.

Effervescent Edit

  • The smell of a cow's undershirt.

Effluent Edit

  • Alternative name for a pachyderm for people troubled with the pronunciation of 'elephant'
  • Someone who is linguistically competent in Effing

E-fit Edit

  • An uncontrollable muscular spasm caused when you discover that you've deleted your entire email inbox and you can't get it back.

Egghead Edit

  • Humpty-Dumpty, the big-headed smelly smart kid in your class or Your Mum.

Eggs Benedict Edit

Eh Edit

  • The first, third, fourteenth and twenty second letters in the Canadian alphabet.
  • Wat u say wen curfuzzled bai bad riting.

Einzelwortbeantwortungsneigung Edit

  • (Isolated word answer inclination) German for answering any and all questions with a single word.

Ejaculate Edit

  • How people in Yorkshire tell Jack he has overslept.

Eketahuna Edit

  • A mythical place (i.e. "don't you talk to your mother like that or I'll send you to Eketahuna") except that it actually exists. Eketahuna is located in the North Island on even days and the South Island on odd days, so be careful when addressing mail - although Eketahuna doesn't have any population so it would be a bit pointless sending them mail, wouldn't it?

Elbows Edit

  • Elbows were invented in 1830 as a method to get to the front of theatre queues faster, as with all English advances in the industrial revolution they were stolen by other countries and used for nefarious purposes.

Electrical Edit

  • An electrician named Al.

Electric organ Edit

  • Any organ in the human body that requires or generates electricity. Examples include the brain, the pancreas and the kneecaps Organ.

Electroluminscence Edit

  • Bane of all who study it, this complicated mechanism messes with the mind and simultaneously emits radiation. It involves electrons and levels and funny drawings, none of which are available on the internet.

Electron Edit

  • A time when users, agents and people who have been transported to a computer security program in a sentient, glowing-highlight form against their will cast ballots to see who will win and be president or something.

Elephant Edit

  • What you think of when somebody asks you to not think of an elephant.

Eleventy-One Edit

  • Old English. Translates to "eleventeen to the power of one".

Elfish Edit

  • An elf (elven) Elvis Impersonator.
  • A fish from Barcelona.

Ellispe Edit

  • Ellipse-shared brace in Lisp programming language.

Elmo Edit

  • A Spanish mo. It can also mean "the mo".

Emancipation Edit

Embalmer Edit

  • Someone who greatly enjoys looking at/touching dead bodies. They are also known as Necrophiliacs, and have often been caught groping or embracing their patients. They usually have dark rings around their eyes, and smell strangely of pickled walnuts.

Emergency vehicle Edit

  • An emergency vehicle is any vehicle designed to create an emergency situation. Specialised equipment on board helps responders in their tasks to create even more havoc, and sirens notify other motorists that they better clear the way or be history. Emergency vehicles are usually dispatched from a centre that takes calls from an emergency telephone number. Persons who want to create emergency situations should call that number. In most countries calling this number costs nothing.

Emission Edit

  • Any clandestine mission carried out electronically, most often by a hacker. It is also just another word with E prepended to it, a fad of the dot com era's back-to-basics movement to clarificate and de-un-simplify verbiage. E-mission control laws have huge effects on digital civil liberties and may cause problems with your SUV's navigation system. Some definitions therefore imply that an emission is something that is exuded from something else (i.e. "car emissions"); alas, this is actually just a play on the well-known grooming habits of hackers.

Emorexia Edit

A condition that causes young males to wear their little sister's jeans. If said emo kid does not have a little sister, he will buy jeans and say that they belong to a long-lost sister.

Emo Tic-Tac-Toe Edit

Victory

An emo has obtained a victory!

  • A game created by the popular band, Fall Out Boy during a cross country tour. It remains one of the most highly popular games among the Emo population, and accounts for about 35% of the Emo suicide rate, not far behind the classic hanging and popular 'Bite the Bullet' methods.

Emotion Edit

  • A small pink-dimpled mammal that lives in hedgerows. It's common knowledge that they could only be seen once by Brian/Bryan Adams and his brother Don during summer of '69 while fleeing the 3 Musketeers, Sting and Rod Stewart.

Employee Edit

  • (n) One which is enslaved by corporate policy.

Employer Edit

  • (n) The one who pays for your daytime flat-rate and coffee.

Emulate Edit

  • No, I'm early.

Encapsulate Edit

  • To put on a warm hat.
  • The science of writing in capital letters.

Encyclopedia Dramatica Edit

  • Euphemism for Goatse. :Oh, some moron linked me to Encyclopedia Dramatica. It was quite shocking.
  • A fetish wiki where people who masturbate to Goatse go.

Endive Edit

  • The act of leaping from a high place in order to commit suicide.

Endless cycle of life Edit

  • Life is an endless cycle unless people forget to put enough coins to operate the huge washing machine of the cosmos.

England Edit

  • Better than wherever it is that you live. So nurh.
  • A country ruled by Her Majesty Queen Lizzy II.
  • Where all the hotties come from. See Andy Murray.

English Channel Edit

  • In the United States: All of them, except for Univisión, Telefutura, Telemundo and those weird foreign stations on free-to-air satellite.

English driving rules Edit

  • English driving rules dictate: *The left side is the right side! *The right side is the wrong side! Follow these rules when driving in England.

English Edit

  • Language invented for nitwits.
  • Language of the Gods.

Entanglement Theory Edit

  • The theory that no matter how neatly you clean up cords or wires, the next time you take them out they will be a hopelessly tangled mess.

Enter Edit

  • The Windows alias for the return key
  • What you should never do in a building owned by a dentist
  • What you should never do to your or any friends mothers.

Envy Edit

  • The motivating emotion that best explains most Uncyclopedia entries. See also pain and fear.

EPA Edit

  • An Anglo-Hungarian political group meaning Egor's Piano Association. They only lost by one vote. I wonder why.

Epinards Edit

  • A secret code word. If spoken correctly to a French person, a sleeper personality will take them over and you can command the sleeper personality to do anything at all that involves pastry, nougat, or nuclear terrorism. Surely, this word would be a danger to all lifekind were it not usually used to get hot French people to perform kinky nougat-pastry sex acts. If the French person looks at you funny or slaps you, you've pronounced it wrong. If they tell you it really means something about vegetables, this means they are actually not French, but rather a Green Lantern infiltrating the French hivemind.

Epoch Edit

  • A term embraced by computer geeks to mark the beginning of time within the operating system. Control of this setting neither introduces the first HG Wells'ian time machine nor gives humans the power of god, but its a pretentious enough word to garner humans a place two steps above apes.
  • Twin brother of 2poch.

Ergonomic Edit

  • Ergonomics is the process by which product design is tested by being pushed up the bottom. An ergonomic product is one where the passage up the passage is as smooth as possible. If someone remarks "that looks ergonomic", this suggests they have a desire to push it "where the sun don't shine". The designers at Ikea are contractually obliged to test every product they design in this manner.

Erogeneous Zones Edit

  • Areas of a city marked out for advanced sexual development.

Error of judgement Edit

  • "A mistake" made by a politician.
  • "A crime" perpetrated by ordinary voters.

Erection Edit

  • (Greek πριαπισμός, the erection)
  • A painful and potentially harmful medical condition in which the erect penis (erection) does not return to its flaccid state (despite the absence of both physical and psychological stimulation). This state is usually caused by such medical miracles as Viagra, Cialis, Jared Fogle and Google.

Escalators Edit

  • Escalators are pure unadulterated evil. The proof for this is quite simple. Without escalators no local conflict would ever escalate into full scale war. The only saving grace of Escalators is that they don't commit adultery, hence why they're unadulterated evil, and not plain evil.

Etcetera Edit

  • An overused word when people run out of what to say.

Eternity Edit

  • Eternity is the amount of time a high school couple stays together.
  • Eternity usually lasts about a month.

Ethanol Edit

  • The most popular route to enlightenment in western society. In the interests of keeping their citizens ignorant, most governments tax it heavily.

Ethical Orange Rhino Edit

  • Not a manifestation of Ionesco's 'Rhinoceros'in website form as it's mistaken for, but a previous stuffed toy owned by Immanuel Kant.

EULA Edit

  • End User License Agreement - the most widely presented and least read documents ever devised. These agreements, if a unilateral series of statements can be considered an agreement, are a crafted defense against the LLD (lowest litigious denominator). Detailed analysis shows that the end users only rights are to press certain keys and make certain hand motions. Should these movements result in warming of an adjacent planet, disrupt worldwide telecommunications, or cause the NASDAQ index to become an imaginary number -- the publisher of the agreement is not be held responsible in any fiduciary sense. See Paradocs, Faust, U.S. Army enlistment contract

Eunuchs Edit

  • An Operating System devised by Microsoft when they abandoned attempting to develop the US 2 Mainframe System jointly with IBM, this has since been superseded by Bollox though. Was greatly favoured by many IT Administrators though on the grounds that "It doesn't screw the mainframe".

Eurokaryotic Edit

  • Compliant with European Union regulations on chromosome number. Each species has a fixed chromosome number, (some have several), this number is called the karyotype. Genetic engineers can alter this number when creating new crop species. French farmers will be required to plant entirely eurokaryotic crops from 2010.

European Space Agency Edit

  • The Nazi division of NASA. Run by the French for some reason.

Europe Edit

  • The shit-hole of the world...also a crappy band. You pull Europe and I'll pull myrope and maybe we can lift this iron curtain so we can see out the window. Although others might see innuendo...

Euthanasia Edit

  • A term used for Asian kids.

Evans Edit

  • Welsh tribe, derived from the occupation of elevator engineer.
  • Mild Cockney expletive, as in Evans Above!

Eve Edit

  • Biblical owner of the first ever Vagina (Aborigina).

Eve Bomb Edit

  • Along with the Adam Bomb, one of the two original bombs cast out of the Garden of Eden.

EverQuest Edit

  • An MMORPG (acronym meaning Massively Multiplayer Online Really Pointless Game) in which one seeks to acquire "crack" and "choo" in order to "LOADING, PLEASE WAIT..." EverQuest has been a successful MMORPG since the beginning of time, when the world was still a bunch of flat patterned planes stuck together in which early neanderthals were forced to discover the power of /rewind in order to survive. Your faction standing with Sony Online Empire's Nonexistant GMs has gotten worse!

Everybody Dies Edit

  • The popular children's book that explains the mechanics of death. The book is well known for its strange pictures and length of 20 billion pages. The book has spawned two sequels, Everybody Goes To Hell, and Everybody, In Actuality, Are Blue Hedgehogs.

Evolution Edit

  • Evolution lets you:
Ridicule people with Faith.
Look good with your friends.
Be master (misteress) of your own density.
Be right, even if it hurts.
50% faster nihilism than Religion.
Laugh at life. Take the next step, choose Evolution. Because where would we be without thumbs.
  • Clefairy evolves into Clefable when exposed to the Moonstone.

Exacerbation Edit

  • Exercise through masturbation. Burn 120 calories an hour!

Exactly Edit

  • (pronounced egs-hacked-lee)
  • Commonly refers to the event in which a small group of eggs hacked some guy called lee and stole his bank information. The whereabouts of these eggs is currently unknown but the police forces of Mordor, lead by Chuck Norris, are undergoing a full search for the culprits.

Exaggeration Edit

  • Simply the most important thing in the universe.

Excellent Edit

  • A word used to describe the "goodness" of something... Only it is better than good. In reality it is great, but even great does not even begin to describe the goodness of the word excellent. To truly understand the true meaning of excellent think of the coolest good thing in the world, multiply that by 100. That does not even begin to describe the greatness of excellent. In summary, the word excellent is really really really good... Only better.

Exception Edit

  • Pertains to the case that defies a rule for any existing rule. As this is also a rule, then this is also the exception to that rule, but is itself an exception to its very own rule.
"To every rule, there is an exception." <- if this is a rule, then there should be an exception to it, right?"

Exclusive Edit

  • Exclusive, particularly when referring to media such as music, or musical performances, is another term for "sucks". Anything labelled as "exclusive" actually sucks. When applied to newspaper stories (especially tabloids), this means the article is completely made up of lies and fiction.

Excretory system Edit

  • The excretory system is a set of organs that humans use to communicate. Also, it is a sort of projectile weapon (see: shooting shit). There are some who, mistakenly, believe it is a method by which human beings remove toxins and waste from their bodily systems. This is because they believe, also mistakenly, in linear time.

Excuse Edit

Exma Edit

  • The language spoken by the people who live in Exmoor, Devon. Involves a lot of wheezing and pointing at things.

Exploding Wales Edit

  • Exploding Wales is when Jimbo of Wikipedia explodes. Associated environmental dangers include massive spillage of objectivist philosophy. Exploding wales may also refer to the so-called IRA which some believe to have actually operated from Wales. In fact they had nothing to do with Ireland at all and instead were a bunch of mad, violent and sadistic Welshmen angry at not being able to play rugby despite the most intense training in rugby history.

Explosive fruit Edit

  • Certain rare fruit has evolved the ability to explode. This deters animals from eating the yummy fruits. The only known explosive fruit is the Monday. Pineapple is also explosive. By law, grocery stores may only sell defused Mondays and pineapples, but travelling fruit salesmen have no such restriction. The worst recorded incident of fruit detonation occurred in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on February 12, 1952 (called "Mauve Tuesday" for some reason), when a truck full of live Mondays was hijacked by a man claiming to be Steve Jobs (which doesn't make sense because he hadn't been born yet) and subsequently rammed at high speed into an oncoming metaphor. The resulting explosion not only levelled a major freeway but also caused irreparable damage to the English language. Subsequently, legislation was introduced in Congress which would have outlawed the trade of explosive food or condiments of any sort within the continental United States, but the bill was reported missing presumed dead before even making it out of committee (it is speculated that the legislation was eaten by Senator Strom Thurmond).

Exsists Edit

  • The removal of a sister (or sistah) from a family (or hood) 2. The sisters (or sistah's) that have been removed

Ex Edit

  • That asshole who just dumped you.

Extra Slutty Olive Oil Edit

  • You know, sometimes people just don't want all the purity of Extra Virgin Olive Oil. No, some people prefer their olive oil tart and well-travelled, if you know what I mean.

Extreme Marketing Edit

  • Similar to marketing.
  • The process by which a team of suits decides the best way to sell and advertise a product to those demographics which generally buy it. The difference between marketing and Extreme Marketing, though, is that Extreme Marketing is done by a team of suits that is completing a "fakie ollie to nosegrind", biking up a cliff, or abseiling off a 30000ft cliff.

Eyepatch Edit

  • Eyepatches were pieces of cloth put over an pirate's eye, commonly used on their first day with the hook.