Undead

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The undead body and decapitated head of Marvin Gaye: lead singer for Insane Clown Posse

The undead are people who shouldn't be alive, but are still living through the use of excessive amounts of plastic surgery and/or resurrection via Sith magic. The term undead literally means "not not alive," which would seem to include all of us, except that none of us are currently living. Not how we want to, at least.

Undead people are constantly fighting for their rights to be accepted as normal members of society. It should be noted that the politically correct term for addressing a member of this race is "Livingly-impaired", "Cardially-impaired" or "John McCain". Unfortunately, the undead and the living have had a rocky past, what with legions of the undead raiding the living's villages, sacrificing and/or eating virgins and stoat molesting. In like manner, the people have been offending the undead by burning witches, attacking necromancers, and the creation of veal. Many non-undeads, which are known in many circles of undead society as the living, or "God's moist playdough bipedal unundeads," view undeads as the Lucky Ones having to never bathe, deal with dragons, or raise the scourge of humanity: children.

It has been said that one day the dead shall get bored of being dead and decide to become undead. In this scenario, Ben Ness and several other people who have dedicated their lives to stopping the undead will retaliate by making the undead more... dead. The only way to make the dead "redead" is to kill them in a dance off, which was popularized by the hentai comic book Hellsing, which ends with an undead Nazi fat guy, an undead Paladin, and an undead dude resolving their conflicts with a dance-off and destroying most of Rondon, England with their stylish moves. It must be noted that initiating a dance-off with any undead is hazardous; Undead are notoriously fly dancers. Without hesitation, a victorious undead will drink the blood of their challenger from a bendy straw.

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[edit] The logic behind the name undead

According to logic a Undead creature is “not not alive” or “not dead” by the mathematic-linguistic  :

• “not * alive = dead” and then “not * dead = alive” so “undead=alive”

• or simply by "not * not = yes" then “yes alive” or “alive”

Regardless of the formula used an undead creature refers to a living creature the mathematic opposite of dead.

However, some 30 year old virgins that stil play D&D and live with their parents call some dead creatures undead. This is absolute bullshit, as a zombie creature is supposed to be called unliving, dead, living-dead, reanimated, zombie, semi dead, half-dead, half living, Half Life, Half Life 2, Half Life episode 1 & 2, or “I Have A Life And Give A SHIT”.

Now you can roll the dice and determine your humiliation damage that you get from Life and This_Article (regardless of your level), but after thet you can get naked, get some porn, and "cast magic missile on yourself," if you know what I mean.

However this article is pointless because there are no D&D players on Uncyclopedia or the internet (who plays a stupid board and dice game in the age of computers,the Internet , World of Worcraft , Your Mom! and AAAAAAAAA ). Most of the D&D maniacs are too fascinated with learning all the D&D rules and "casting magic missile" to real girls and/or boys.

And I must go, the dungeon master tels me that I can go and cast magic missile on your moms if my d20 rolls something greater than 10.

[edit] Dixie Normous

The confusion of undead and robots has escalated to the point where some find them indiscernable. Like most undead, robots are not alive, have no feelings, live for a single purpose: to wipe out annoying actors (Britney Spears sucks my dick in real life). Most people believe that "zombies", as the undead are commonly called, do not make any intelligent choice regarding who they kill/feast upon/eat/devour/gang rape, but are actually used to dispose of people with whom the public has lost interest or are just plain annoying (i.e. Pauly Shore). Robots follow along the same lines. You remember Sarah Conner from Terminator? There was a reason that she didn't show up in Terminator 3. Finally, to get back to the point of this topic, robots are metal and zombies are fleshy... kind of. If you can't tell the difference, please see your eye doctor. Such examples of robots include the japanese race, Penis Prime, and Dick the Love Bug. Examples of zombies include zombies, zombies, and Dick Clark.

[edit] Famous Undead People

Note that contrary to popular belief, Captain Scarlet is not undead but rather simply dead. The thing in the series is an alien double which was convinced to defect and help humans after sixteen pints of beer.

[edit] World of Warcraft

PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!
This page is a piece of crap. (A very good piece of crap.) The Kickass/Awesome author acknowledges this fact. However, he just took random words and threw every large, interesting word he could find and put them into this messy, incoherant pile.

http://www.wowarmory.com/character-sheet.xml?r=Haomarush&n=Larco

http://www.wowarmory.com/character-sheet.xml?r=Haomarush&n=Larc%C3%B4

http://www.wowarmory.com/character-sheet.xml?r=Haomarush&n=Zolneoslol

[edit] See also


States of Existence
Alive | Awake | Crunk | Asleep | Semi-Conscious | Half Dead | Half Live | Dead | Being Dead | Dreaming | Dead but dreaming | Bored | Pregnant
Drunk | Stoned | Handicapped | Comatose | Undead | Born again
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