Any further edits will be reverted and the articles will be locked down as we wait for the judges to arrive — and did you know they are unpaid? If this leaves you without pastimes, you might Vote for deletion of a choice selection of our most horrible articles, Vote for honors on the website main page for our best articles, or vote to honor the key Uncyclopedians of 2015. Or compete for the Vulture Award, even if you did not enter the Uncyclopedia Super Bowl, by writing one of the assigned articles that the assignee decided not to write!
Somewhere on the Internet
Physical location unknown (give us time)
Dear Sir or Madam:
Thank you for your interest in Uncycloversity. After reviewing your application, and weighing your qualifications against those of many other qualified applicants, we regret to inform you that you, as a human being, have No Redeeming Value and are such a complete idiot that you can't even get accepted into a fake "university" that runs on a website (in Florida, of all places) that anyone in the world with an Internet connection can edit to their heart's content without even identifying who they are! Congratulations!
While we sincerely wish you all the best of luck in your quest to educate yourself to the point at which your intelligence rivals that of a typical cabbage, we even more sincerely wish that you'll simply go away and leave us alone.
This might also be a good time to remind you that your $1,000 application fee is non-refundable.