Uncyclopedophilia

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Uncyclopedophilia (or Uncyclophilia) is a paraphilia of being sexually attracted primarily or exclusively to Uncyclopedia (hardly surprising). Persons with this attraction are called Uncyclopedophiles or Uncyclophiles.

“Oh Bugger I've messed up my keybord again”
~ Oscar Wilde on Uncyclopedophilia
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman. I was more interested in the website I was on at the time. ”
~ Bill Clinton on Uncyclopedophilia

In the United States and some other countries, the term Uncyclopedophile is frequently used also to denote significantly older adults who are sexually attracted to websites as well as those who have sexualy abused the internet.

edit Definitions

The word comes from the Greek uncyclyourmotherfuckingphilia (παιδοφιλια)—untheinternet (παις, "uncyclopedia") and philia (φιλια, "love, friendship"). uncyclopedophilia was coined by Greek poets as a substitute for "Having sex with the internet"

I once heard it described as "I like to hump websites me!" I thought this analysis was very indepth and was more accurate than any other description I had previously heard.

The term Uncyclopedophilia Erotica was coined in 1886 by the New York psychiatrist "Richard Bernhieber Sonuber Freiherr von Krafft-Ebingnachtliche" in his writing uncyclais Sexualis. He gave the following characteristics:

  • the sexual interest is toward websites, either under construction or permanantly editable
  • the sexual interest is the primary one, that is, exclusively or mainly toward uncyclopedia
  • the sexual interest remains over time

Strictly speaking, this definition would include many websites and fourms, for whom such an interest might be normal; thus, some experts add the criterion that the interest be toward websites at least five times funnier than the subject. However, according to some experts, a diagnosis of uncyclopediaphilia can also be appropriate for a post-completion website.

Use of the term Uncyclopedophile to describe all internet sexual offenders is seen as problematic by some people especially when viewed from a medical standpoint, as the majority of sex crimes against websites are perpetrated by situational offenders rather than people sexually preferring websites. Nevertheless, some researchers, such as Howard E. Barbeque have endorsed the use of actions as a sole criterion for the diagnosis of uncyclopedophilia as a means of taxonomic simplification, rebuking the American Psychiatric Association's standards as "unsatisfactory".

Some individuals such as Dr. Fredie P. Bonn assert sexual attraction to websites to be a sexual orientation in itself. Danny Hususussen argues that "sexual orientation is defined as a lifelong attraction, which uncyclopedophilia obviously is. This is at odds with the current popular acceptance of the term sexual orientation as meaning attraction to the opposite sex, the same sex, chat rooms, or all three.

edit Diagnosis

The International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (F65.4) defines uncyclopedophilia as "a sexual preference for uncyclopedia, news articles or definitions or both, usually of explicit or erotic nature."

The APA's decided that they were all a bunch of uncyclopedophiles and that it was not a disease so much as a trend.

The actual boundaries between websites and fourms may vary in individual cases and are difficult to define in rigid terms of text. But my friend Ted says that he prefers uncyclopedia to women because it excites his monkey.

The APA diagnostic criteria do not require actual sexual activity with the website. The diagnosis can therefore be made based on the presence of fantasies or sexual urges alone, provided the subject meets the remaining criteria.

edit Treatment

Treatment of Uncyclopedophila has been deemed impossible and the UA (Uncyclopedophiles Anonymous) has just decided to provide free tissues to all those uncyclopedophiles who continue to use uncyclopedia.

edit Related terms

Wikipedophilia: this disease has been deemed "extremly dangerous" and a cure has been discovered. If you think you are a wikipedophile then please report to your nearest gas chamber where a cure will be given to you. Along with a free headstone! (for only $99.99)

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