From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“And I thought my alternate universe was terrifying...”
The Uncyclopedia universe is the horrifying alternate reality where everything ever written on Uncyclopedia is true and exists, including people's lives/biographies, historical events, culture and such. Since there is an infinite number of alternate realities out there, there is a 10^googolplex^googolplex^googolplex chance that a given universe may be exactly what Uncyclopedia describes. This is in contrast to our own reality, where almost anything non-fictional on Wikipedia is mostly true (with some exceptions) instead.
edit The creation myth
The denizens of the Uncyclopedia universe believes that the universe began on November 1, 2005 with the creation of the Fisher Price article. Everything that happened before that is just due to some number of insane twists and retcons, one worser than the other. This universe has five fundamental forces: strong nuclear interaction, electromagnetism, slobbering idiocy, weak nuclear interaction and gravity. The universe has become the horrible and detestable place it is due to the addition of slobbering idiocy to the four fundamental forces or our universe. The nearly 7 billion slobbering lunatics of this alternate universe's earth believes that creation began thus:
- One bright day in the middle of the night,
- 184.108.40.206 and LotofLOLS got up to fight.
- Back to back they vandalized each other,
- posted their in-jokes and QVFD'ed each other.
- An overworked admin did notice the crap,
- and ran to ban the combatants with a slap.
- If it is on the Internet it must be true,
- in Soviet Russia, in-jokes post YOU!!
How on earth this results in the creation of an entire universe is unknown, especially since science in the Uncyclopedia universe is either non-existant or too nonsensical to find an explanation for this. But hey, this is Uncyclopedia so nobody cares about logic, right? It is after all the most overrated thing since... eh, well, marzipan-covered cakes with ostrich meat filling and deep fried radish flakes? Or something. Whatever...
edit The culture of Uncyclopedia universe
One of the major differences between the Uncyclopedia universe and our universe is that in Uu, insanity and juvenile humor are considered to be normalcy. Earth in Uu contains a number of Psychiatric Clinic[s] for the Criminally Sane for people who insists that 1 + 1 = 2, since in Uu, everyone knows that 1 + 1 equals fish. Another major difference is that nobody knows about a toy company called Fisher Price, since nobody knows it as anything more than an in-joke created by the legendary 220.127.116.11, and November 1 marks the beginning of time in the Uncyclopedia universe. The anonymous 18.104.22.168, whose identity is unknown, is far more known than William Shakespeare or Alfred Hitchcock, with his masterpiece Fisher Price having inspired thousands of movies, books and comics based on it. Also, Uncyclopedia is the best in this Uncyclopedian universe, in contrast to our own reality where it's the worst. The most important holidays are the anniversaries of the creation of an established Uncyclopedian in-joke. To become an internationally
despised renowned in-joker and have their "work" featured on Uncyclopedia (often by accident) is THE biggest aspiration for every denizen of the planet, equivalent of being a rock star, famous actor or brilliant scientist in our universe. In the Uncyclopedia universe, being at the foremost front of imbecillic ludicrousness is the opiatic dream of every idiot earthling. The Uncyclopedia universe, like any other universe, also has its fair share of wrong-doers however...
edit Law and order
The standard which is attempted to uphold in the Uncyclopedia universe is slobbering idiocy. For those criminally sane who fail to commit to this standard, the Uncyclopedia admin's in this universe have appointed an international police of Aspergian preteens who arrests anyone who claims that 1 + 1 equals "2" or that the quantity 2 plus 4 times y does not equal "Your Mom". Those who are arrested and determined to be clinically sane may be brought into one of the psychiatric clinics to be reprogrammed by slobbering idiocy so that they may be released into society again as reformed citizens. Logic and science in Uu are considered to be haram, especially since the average citizen of the planet is unable to distinguish between science and scientology anyway. If an evil-doer is still trying to reason and stick to logic, he may receive the most terrifying punishment imaginable: the life sentence. Since life is considered to be a sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatal outcome according to Uncyclopedian logic, death sentences are not required since being sentenced to life is virtually the same as being sentenced to death, since death is the eventual outcome of being sentenced to life anyway. By this logic, the long wait for the inevitable is far crueler than a quick death, since this universe is one of utter pointlessness, horror and loathsomeness, and life is therefore a far worser punishment than death.
Where law and order, or the lack thereof, fails to subdue the evil-doers, the superheroes Captain Bizarro and Captain Uncyclopedia works day and night to uphold the standard of idiocy. Wikipedia is naturally outlawed in the Uncyclopedia universe, and while it exists, it is run by an underground resistance led by international supervillain Jimbo on Wales, who seeks to impose logic and reason upon the universe.