Uncyclopedia talk:What You Can Do

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The first bloody thing on this idiotic list should be WRITE AN ARTICLE-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 07:42, January 17, 2011 (UTC)



Wow, I seriously disagree. I think everything is Stupiper with Oscar Wilde. What isn't funny is random F-ing shit--all the "bios" that have no satyrical relationship to the subject that are filled with random dates, random relatives, random accomplishments, random boink affairs. That's the kind of crap that should be cleaned up. How about starting a biography improvement project? 01/02/07

The constant references to Wilde, Mr. T, Norris, et cetera add some coherence to uncyclopedia, as its sort of a running joke. BTW, it seems that the policy here is less than completely consistent on the level of acceptable nonsense. For example, the help pages advocate a "satirical point of view" while some pages are given (what appear to be) awards for being "Ape-sh*t Crazy" or "bat-f*ck insane" --blkgardner 4/19/07

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

oh crap I could use some help with human nature if anybody has a spare moment. It was supposed to be funnier than it turned out to be. --NERD42  EMAIL  TALK  H2G2  PEDIA  NEWS  14:57, 12 April 2006 (UTC)

um yeah ditto for UnNews:NASA discovers Moon is actually giant pancake! --Nerd42eMailTalkUnMetaWPediah2g2 17:48, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

No Oscar?!?! I can understand Norris, but Oscar is an integral part of Uncyc! --User:Nintendorulez 17:48, 16 April 2006 (UTC)

“I disagree, Nintendorulez - the sooner someone burninates 98% of those godawful Template:Wilde's, the better.
~ Oscar Wilde

I think Wilde quotes add to the article when they are in something resembling Wilde's actual style. Unfortunately, the vast majority of the Template:Wilde's have him saying moronic stuff like "I'd tap that," and I'm all for removing them. But if a quote shows at least cursory familiarity with Oscar's works, anecdotes, or sense of humour, I say leave it in. --Ialdabaoth 23:43, 21 May 2006 (UTC)


edit Most wanted?

Is there a list of Most Wanted Articles like on Wikipedia (Articles which have the most red links pointing to them)? Or are those more often written, then abandoned as single-sentence deadweights? --Lenoxus 17:08, 20 May 2006 (UTC)

Special:Wantedpages (also see Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles). --Splaka
Excelente. Muchas grácias, señor(a). --Lenoxus 15:50, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

edit flag??!!

this flag is really bad joke and its made by serbian citizen who hate croatians, please remove it, if u dont know thats nazy sign!!!!!!thank u

edit OK. Here's one thing you should add.

Grammar police-ing. Ooh. time to make a new page... (Walks off to go do so.)

User:Ceridwyn/Proofreading Service. Done. ~ Dame Ceridwyn ~ talk DUN VoNSE arc2.0 11:04, 26 May 2007

What You Can Do

">edit {{Title}}

is no longer working. What's up? Lenoxus 15:41, 20 March 2007 (UTC)

edit Some other things to do.

--[citations needed] 19:34, 26 May 2007 (UTC)

edit Has anyone realised..

When you do work on the lonely pages catogry, they do not disapear from the Catogory. Why?

edit What is this site about?

Hey, I don't know if you find yourselves funny. I saw my countries article and it didn't came funny to me. You must delete it. This site sucks. You'll probably delete this message to!

Link to my countries article:

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Turkey

Yeah but the Greeks find it hysterical!!! Humour is often subjective and many people find it hard to laugh at themselves, their nation or their beliefs. Short answer is no, the article ISN'T going to be deleted any time soon. If you don't like it, click that little X in the top corner of your browser. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

edit Hello, i am me.

Hello, i am a relatively new user to Uncyclopedia,and i earthworm eardrum because those are my favourite two words. They are random and awesome My real name is Chris, and i like pie, mixed with melted cheese, and a little tomato sauce ontop of it all. Things and ideas do not come to me naturally; they pop into my head. When i need to be serious i am, but most of the time i am silly and making fun of people, which is why i am on Uncyclopedia. Has anyone seen the Chaser? If you have, if anyone has, tell me and i will take a liking to you as soon as you put out an article saying you like them. Anyway, that's my introduction to Uncyclopedia. I'll try and make time to put on more articles. Goodbye! Chris.

edit OmniFrance

OmniFrance is the possible alternate reality of our world. France rules the entire world. Don't have time to add much now, be back later.

edit The Marshes Shopping Centre, Dundalk

edit Introduction

The Marshes Shopping Centre is located in the Ramparts area of Dundalk. It is home to many of Dundalk's youth and shit security guards. It holds many shops such as HMV, Eason's (Shitson's), Costa - lot, etc. It is home to such seens as Knakkers getting kicked out (funny as hell though), That transvestite, and all those foreign Subway workers. If you wish to do anything remotely out of normality in the Marshes, you will succeed in getting the security to be complete pricks. The marshes is, quote, "Good craic, hey" though.


edit People on visiting The Marshes

"I swear to fuck, that security guard is an arsehole. I didn't even punch Kilkenny, he fell. Jesus like" - Dundalk teenager on the Marshes security

"I'm going to stand outside Eason's, tell everyone to shop at Hughes and Hughes, JUST to piss of that little shit employee." - Dundalk teenager on Eason's worker

"It's the new Cathedral for teenagers, and Penney's is the altar." - Dundalk teenager on the Marshes Shopping Centre

"It's alloada Bollox." - Dundalk local on the Marshes Shopping Centre

"GO FOR A WALK. G'wan, get." - Marshes Security Guard on being interviewed.

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." - Winston Churchill on trying to get himself unbanned from the Marshes

edit Cuisine

The Marshes is home to such food business' as:

  • Subway
  • KFC
  • Burger King
  • Costa - lot
  • Bagel Bar ("has the best Slushee's every invented" - Says regular Marshes visitor)

edit Security

The shopping centre is renowned for it's security. They are known for kicking people out for the littlest reasons, but this makes visiting the Marshes a fun experience. Some reasons in the past have been:

  • Tugging someones shoulder, being accused of punching them
  • Wearing a sombrero
  • Not eating at the food court, even if it is empty
  • Having your hood up
  • Being a teenager
  • Groups of 3 or more standing in the same place for 2 minutes

The security of the Marshes are known for being uptight because they have nothing else to do and thus, hated by 99% of Dundalk-ians. The other 1% are the security themselves. An Garda Síochanna would have a better sense of humour.


edit History

The Marshes Shopping Centre was established in 1950 after World War II for the reasons that the German Nazi Party couldn't figure out soemthing which would piss off people much more than uptight security. Adolf Hitler called this operation "Operation Kiad mo Kiad 2K10", the blueprints were found after his suicide, A.K.A "Operation I Can't Get Laid". After finding these prints, Josef Goebbels thought it was his duty to fulfil them and thus opened up the Marshes Shopping Centre in 2010. Operation K.M.K.2K10 was a complete and utter success. All employment are of a secret Neo-Nazi clan called S.H.S, or as much more known "Shit Head Security".

They also keep playing the same 80's music (Michael Jackson, A-Ha, Eurythmics, etc.) over and over to irritate your visit to the establishment even more.

Josef Goebbels currently holds office in that room beside the "Are You Healthy?" machine beside the bathrooms on the ramparts side of the Marshes.

edit Memorable moments

Memorable moments from the Marshes include:

  • Paul Finn being banned for puking all over the place after drinking a "little" too much.
  • The Marshes smelling exactly like a sewerage plant
  • The carnivals

edit Paul Balonet

Paul Balonet est un écrivain italo-romain, né le 8 avril 1743 à Lisbonne au Portugal, et mort à Barcelone le 8 avril 1843.


Parmi les romans les plus célèbres de Paul Balonet, on retrouve "La Furie de Marie" qui soulève à travers le personnage de Marie Sauvé la problématique des femmes dites "ballons", ces femmes victimes de viols multiples et continus des savanes de l'Afrique et de l'Asie privées de leurs membres inférieurs et incapables d'échapper à leurs ravisseurs. Les femmes ballons, souffrant généralement de mutisme, ne peuvent appeler à l'aide. Paul Balonet passa sa vie à s'intéresser au sort de ces femmes meutries et oubliées par toutes les civilisations du monde entier. Le personnage de Marie Sauvé représente une femme ballon violée à répétition par les lions, les girafes, les éléphants et les rhinocéros des savanes qui réussit à s'en sortir grâce au cheval Titan qui l'amena sur son dos jusqu'à Barcelone où elle mourut en même temps que son créateur, l'écrivain Paul Balonet, le 8 avril 1843, à l'âge de 100 ans.


Les romans de Paul Balonet, dont le tome 2 de la trilogie "La Furie de Marie", intitulé "L'Écartelée" nous démontrent à quel point cet écrivant fut fasciné par le triste sort de ces femmes. Paul Balonet donna des conférences à travers le monde afin de faire connaître cette situation qu'il jugeait inacceptable. Ses romans se sont vendus à près de 200 millions d'exemplaires. Un premier film tiré de la trilogie "La Furie de Marie" est actuellement en tournage et la mégaproduction sera à l'affiche en 2011. Il mettra en vedette Angéline Julie dans le rôle de Marie Sauvé. Les acteurs pressentis pour incarner les rhinocéros seront connus sous peu mais la rumeur veut que Motte Démone, George Clouné et Sylvestre Staloune tiennent le rôle des animaux sauvages.


Les romans de Paul Balonet se vendent encore par milliers alors que les femmes ballons demeurent prisonnières des multiples agressions qui les conduisent inévitablement à la mort à la suite d'atroces souffrances. La série "La Furie de Marie" diffusée à TiVé5 en 12 épisodes est maintenant disponible en DVD. Des figurines à l'effigie de Marie Sauvé sont en vente dans les magasins à grande surface de la planète. Encore aujourd'hui, 167 ans après la fin du combat de Paul Balonet contre la problématique des femmes ballons, cette situation qui perdure est jugée inacceptable mondialement.


trés amusant -continuez-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 07:37, January 17, 2011 (UTC)

edit Josh buick

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