Uncyclopedia talk:Poo Lit Surprise/archive1

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April 2006

Oscar Wilde quote

The Oscar Wilde quote is an actual (famous) quotation of Oscar Wilde. Uhm?

Of course. What did you expect? --—rc (t) 21:09, 2 April 2006 (UTC)
I'm pretty sure that about 90% of the Oscar Wilde quotes on Uncyclopedia are real. We are a cultured bunch, after all. --Sir gwax (talk) Signuke 14:03, 3 April 2006 (UTC)
...and I'm pretty sure Oscar Wilde never said "you're write good". --Sir Carlos the Mean CUN VFP CS CM CUNT (talk) 21:55, 3 April 2006 (UTC)
you'd be surprised how often he was heard to utter just those words..... -- Sir Mhaille  Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

Category: Best Rewrite

Can I enter my/our rewrite of Smiths hill high school? I kinda... rewrote it before this competition... --Doublez 07:58, 4 April 2006 (UTC)

I'm leaving the final answer up to Gwax, but I'm guessing it'll be a "no siry bob".
  1. You didn't create a subuserpage, allowing anyone to edit it.
  2. There's a continuous stream of editting, indicating it's just being worked on, and not rewritten.
  3. And it's vanity... By golly, it must be a pants wetter for you guys, but gee whiz, we just don't get it. (note that I haven't read it, but that's usually the way vanity articles go)
So, yeah, again: I'm just sharing my opinion. Gwax has the final say on the matter... --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NS|+S 12:36, 4 April 2006 (UTC)
Normally, I'd say the more the merrier, but I just checked the page history and it will be very difficult for us to tell what you wrote and what someone else wrote. If you can figure out some way around this issue, then I'd be willing to allow it, but as long as it's difficult to give you sole credit for the work, I'd rather not do so. --Sir gwax (talk) Signuke 14:06, 4 April 2006 (UTC)
I won't extend this past my own category, but I personally don't think anything written before the contest should be eligible. One of the purposes for it is to encourage people to sit down and write one (or three) really good articles, not nominate past stuff. What's to stop people from taking one of their already-featured articles, sifting out whatever other people have added, and entering it? (Though I'm sure this would be less likely to happen with rewrites or pages according with MS's guidelines.) --—rc (t) 20:23, 4 April 2006 (UTC)
Your point is good, I concur. --Sir gwax (talk) Signuke 01:48, 5 April 2006 (UTC)
Alright, that's fine. (Although I was referring to my original rewrite.) --Doublez 07:18, 5 April 2006 (UTC)

Shouldn't the rewrites, even they seem to have new images, that are in "best illustrated.." be, y'know, in "best rewrite", or are they in some kind of gray limbo area? Are all the best limbo areas gray, or do I need to stop mixing my medication with alcohol? Modusoperandi 07:40, 9 April 2006 (UTC)

If they qualify for "Best Rewrite" and contain two original and relevant images, then it is up to the contestant whether to add it to "Best Rewrite" or "Best Illustrated Article". Typically, if the author has put most time and thought into the wording, it will be for "rewrite". If the author has worked hardest on the images, "illustrated article" is more likely. Makes sense, doesn't it? --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NS|+S 07:50, 9 April 2006 (UTC)
Cool. Modusoperandi 08:09, 9 April 2006 (UTC)

I love this prize!

See above. -- Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 14:10, 4 April 2006 (UTC)


I'm the noobiest of the noobs, could someone tell me how to: "put [an article] in your userspace so that nobody else edits it whilst you work on it. (E.g. if your username is user:Oscar, and your article is on freight trains, put your article at user:Oscar/Freight train. After the conclusion of the contest, worthy entries will be moved to the main article namespace.) ie. go through point by point how to do this?

You can start by signing your posts here, FDIS, by placing 4 tildes (~~~~). Ok, so... How to create a sub user page:
  1. Go to your user page (by pressing your username at the top, for example).
  2. Add to the URL that appears in the address bar of your browser a forward slash followed by the name you wish to give your article (e.g. /ArticleName ). The URL will now resemble http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User:Username/Articlename .
  3. Press enter.
  4. You will come to a page that has several (blue) links. Click the one that resembles "create Username/Articlename" (the first one).
  5. The edit box that now appears is where you can write your article.
Good luck... I think you're going to need it. --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NS|+S 21:55, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
Gosh, that sounded ominous... Modusoperandi 22:02, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
Heh... Despite that being one of my unique trademarks, I merely ment to imply that being a noob to wiki'ing might result in a bit of difficulties when creating a wiki-article (proper formatting and the likes)... :D --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NS|+S 22:22, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
Wikis have formatting now? Holy shit'! --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 22:33, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
Ah. I'm sure he'll (she'll...it'll?) quickly mature, shed the N00b status, and be annoying friends, coworkers and pets by inventing L33T sign language. It's either that or unsigned will be adding Chuck N*orris/r*undh*use kick references to frickin' everything. Hope for the best... Also, this "formatting" and "wiki" of which you speak confuses and frightens me. Modusoperandi 22:40, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
What?? Formatting for wiki's?? That's just crazy talk!! You're crazy, man!! --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NS|+S 22:58, 6 April 2006 (UTC)

At least help the n00b out and point them to the Proper Wiki Formatting page. Why do you have to make it so hard for new users? ~Sir Famine, Vandaler 01:43, 11 April 2006 (UTC)

We don't intentionally make it hard, it's just that;
  • a) I'd never heard of Proper Wiki Formatting page
  • b) Reading it now I find that it's not very good (TOC at the end...three times...etc)
  • c) I don't know how others figured out how to format a page, but I just found good looking pages and saw how they did it. I just figured that others probably do the same thing
Modusoperandi 23:19, 14 April 2006 (UTC)
Proper Wiki Formatting is, I think you'll find, a joke. But if you seriously want help with Wiki formatting, check out this page. -Conniption 10:53, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

Double Submissions

Is it ok to submit stuff to two different categories? I noticed Famine did it, but thought I'd make sure before I do the same. And also, can I make two submissions to one category? I want to submit Fashion Police for the Image category as well as the Best Article, but I already have another submission there.--Spin 23:36, 9 April 2006 (UTC)

Don't think so. It doesn't make sense to be able to submit one article for two (or three, for that matter) categories. That's why there are different categories. I'll massage message Famine about it.
I also want to keep people to one submission per category to keep things level. --—rc (t) 23:43, 9 April 2006 (UTC)
Arrightie. --Spin 00:07, 10 April 2006 (UTC)

What are you talking about? I didn't submit an article to two categories. Must have been your eyes. or mine, since I obviously can't read Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 00:52, 10 April 2006 (UTC)

What the...I could have sworn...oh well, no matter. Sorry to have bothered you, citizen. --Rcmurphy Sq.W (Talk) 23:09, 10 April 2006 (UTC)

Deadline lock?

I gather that based on date stamps, no new entries will be considered after the 15th. Will submitted articles be sysop-locked and unchangeable (like they'd be if they were mailed away), or are entrants free to make changes during the judging week? --Bear 16:35, 14 April 2006 (UTC)

Changes are definitely not allowed to be made... We'll see how it goes without locking, though... I think... --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NS|+S 17:59, 14 April 2006 (UTC)
I won't change mine after the 15th, scout's honor, but it'll be tough to police ~40 submissions for changes. --Bear 18:36, 14 April 2006 (UTC)
Hmmmz... Not really... Judges can just watch the pages. If there's a change, then we'll know about it. Hmmm... Maybe we should protect them after all, though... IP-vandals 'n stuff like that...
Fine, I'd agree to protecting them. Will discuss with rcmurphy (and gwax if he comes on IRC) later on. --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NS|+S 18:41, 14 April 2006 (UTC)
Editting after the deadline is definitely out of the question. I recommend that we either protect the article or declare that editing after the dealine will get you disqualified and then deal with anyone that does; I think that I probably prefer the former. --Sir gwax (talk) Signuke 18:55, 14 April 2006 (UTC)
Defo protecting... I thought about "don't edit or you're disqualified" idea, but that wouldn't stop IP's from making our life that little bit less easy... --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NS|+S 19:08, 14 April 2006 (UTC)
Yes, let's go with protecting. --—rc (t) 23:10, 14 April 2006 (UTC)
By that token, though: It's cool to submit and edit before the deadline? I'm just making sure before I cast my rewrite to the winds, because I don't know that it's done. Hope this isn't too noobly a question; I didn't even try last time. --epynephrin 04:08, 4 August 2006 (UTC)

Unintentional vandalism?

Please stop changing my Poo Lit article!!! I started it, and I meant for the final page to be as I left it! It's a concept article, and what may have been attempts to revert vandalism actually turn out to BE vandalism as far as I'm concerned, and now I think I actually need to do it over again. I have explained the concept to one person that edited it, and I really don't like to do that because it kind of ruins it that way. Let me just put it this way, while being vague: The edit history screen is critical to the humor of the article. I think I really may have to do it over now....... --So So 05:55, 13 April 2006 (UTC)

You have to understand that that sort of joke won't survive once the article is let out into the wild and that most people won't notice humor in the history page. --Sir gwax (talk) Signuke 14:15, 13 April 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, I pretty much figured that. But I thought I might have had an original idea, and that using this competition as a place to introduce it would put it under scrutiny of those that would get it. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not hoping to win with it. Just demonstrate another possible application. The only two options after the competition ends would be to scrap it or protect it, and I don't anticipate the latter. --So So 16:06, 13 April 2006 (UTC)


Shouldn't we have templates to put on the pages (when they are released into the Wilde) that would indicate that they were participants in the nst/nd/rd/th annual Poo Lit Surprise Contest? That would be nifty... one that says "Participant (Looooooooooooooooooooser!)" would be appropriate for everyone but me I think... --MindsUnwound (F@H MUN NS talk) spent his last 2cents for this crap at approximately 16:20, 13 April 2006 (UTC)

We'll mark the winners and maybe some honorable mentions but not the losers. --Sir gwax (talk) Signuke 17:01, 13 April 2006 (UTC)
Can I mark the loosers? I promise to only pee dirctly on them, definately not in their wheatabix... okay... maybe a little... --Mindsunwound: (NS) Pissing Vinegar DogFartTrombone Dog Fart Trombone 2cents.PNG 15:00, 14 April 2006 (UTC)

Since I have no qualms whatsoever with just doing whatever the hell I like whether it affects other people or not (no, I'm not George Bush) I've gone ahead and created a category: Category:2006 Poo Lit Surprise Entry and hunkered down in it... It could of course be incorporated into the templates... or if things don't work out, and I don't get custody of the children based upon that one time I met you at the coffee house and you had them with you just to make it clear that we really are just meeting for coffee, and not hot wild sex, then it can just be deleted and abandoned... or something... --Mindsunwound: (NS) Pissing Vinegar DogFartTrombone Dog Fart Trombone 2cents.PNG 15:09, 14 April 2006 (UTC)

Everyone's a Winner!

It might be nice to have some sort of additional honorable mention (or template) for articles that got at least one #1 ranking in each category, but didn't win (or get honorable mentions). Or at least tell the authors that they got a #1 vote, if only to encourage them a little bit. Just a suggestion...  c • > • cunwapquc? 02:11, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

Or you could shun the rest and allow us to hide in shame, quietly humbled by our own sad mediocrity. Perhaps then we'd truly witness, and take no comfort in, the dark meaninglessness of a cold and uncaring universe and its twin, the heartless void of eternal nothingness. Aw, shit...I've just turned Goth Modusoperandi 18:07, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
Don't take it so personally, M.O.! "UnCon" was a fine article. I think it's fairly clear that the only reason it didn't win is because you're Canadian. Seriously, please try again next month, only be Lebanese next time, or maybe Brazilian. (Ethiopian would be my choice, of course, but only if you post recipes.)  c • > • cunwapquc? 18:24, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
There's going to be a PLS next month? Sweet! Who's sponsering? --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NS|+S 18:40, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
I'm fine with not winning, the winners' entries were all excellent. My point, which incidently I forgot to make, is that prizes for people that didn't win doesn't help anybody (plus it weakens the geek pride that the winners get and reduces the already minimal chance of them picking up a hot romulan at the next trekkiecon). First it's "Honorable Mention" for articles that got #1 in a category but didn't win; soon after it's "Most Improved" for articles that would have been submitted, but weren't because the dog ate them or "Best Supporting Actress".
Winning is awesome. Losing is good too. Trying is okay, but not everything deserves a medal.
A Miss Congeniality prize would have been cool, though. Perhaps next time Uncyclopedia will add that in. Modusoperandi 18:51, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
Those are good points. (Also, I should have written next "time," not next "month," sorry...) Still, it wouldn't really have to be a prize, or even an honorable mention, at least not a formal one. It's just that my overall #1 for the whole contest (I was a judge) didn't get anything, and I'd like to encourage that person to write more articles like that (or just more articles in general). But I don't really know if it's appropriate for me to even tell this person casually - it might be seen as a sign of favoritism, or worse. Interesting problem, actually.  c • > • cunwapquc? 19:02, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
I say nominate it for VFH if you like it. That's what I'm intending to do with the ones I liked that didn't win anything. I don't see why there should be any 'favouritism' concerns now the contest is over. -- Sir Codeine KUN VFP Bur. MDA NS UotM CM +S (Harangue) 21:16, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
If there are enough contributions for each category next time, why not go to a Gold/Silver/Bronze system? You could call it the UnOlympics. Modusoperandi 19:30, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
Wouldn't it be possible to simply show the scores? Without the judges' names of course, just show for each article how many 1's, 2's, 3's, 4's and 5's it got. I certainly don't disagree with the results, but it would give some feedback to the people that didn't win anything. It wouldn't be a prize (might even be a bit of a kick in the nuts for some), but it would just acknowledge everybody that participated. Doug 20:42, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
Fine by me... If the only objection to that is that it might make people angry at some/all of the judges for "dissing" them, there isn't much that could be done to me at this point that hasn't already been done by armies of Wikipedian sock puppets. The others would have to agree too, though.  c • > • cunwapquc? 21:06, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
It's not like geek anger is dangerous. What would we do, talk shit on our userpage? Write derogatory fan fiction? We do those anyway. Besides, a score would give us something to try to better next time. Plus it would give us another excuse for writing derogatory fan fiction. Modusoperandi 21:31, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
Don't get me started on geek anger! Just remember, some users are thicker-skinned than others.  c • > • cunwapquc? 21:59, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

I'll repeat what I said in the chatroom, which Some User has brought up again here... it'd REALLY suck if you worked really hard, thought you had a good article, and were the person who got almost no votes. I think it's best as is right now, knowing that a lot of people got votes (the Best Article had, like, only 10 votes between #1 and #15, I think is what was said). I'm fine the way it is now, and especially since EVERY ONE of these articles is now eligible for VFH, so you can nom any articles you thought were good that didn't win anything for the rest of us to vote on. Cool deal for everyone!--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 21:34, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

Fair enough, though I've supposedly sworn off VFH completely. I guess it might have a slim chance of being featured, but regardless, I'm thinking it might be best not to point out that it was my favorite in the contest. Anyone who reads this will know, though.  c • > • cunwapquc? 21:59, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

The way the current "Prize" was run seems okay to me. Just remember that no matter what you do someone will always complain, and they'll almost always have a valid reason behind that complaint. Bitching is what sets us apart from the apes. Well, that and we hardly ever fling poo. Modusoperandi 22:31, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

My view is that a public display of the the full voting results will accomplish little aside from "How could my article have been beaten by that?" or "I'm going to kill myself because I got no first-place votes." If someone asked me personally how their own article(s) did, I'd be willing to tell them, and I've already expressed my admiration for a few of my favorites - it's justified favoritism, I mean, we already judged them to see which were the best, and besides encouragement is always often good. And now that the active judging is over I don't think it's really necessary to keep all the judges anonymous or anything (not that they were before, heh). For the record, none of my #1 picks won their categories. ;) —rc (t) 22:48, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

Can you please post on my talk page how my article Invasion did? I'm curious, and fairly thick-skinned so I think I can handle if it performed poorly. For the record I think providing this information only to people who specifically ask for it is the best policy. And well done on a well run and entertaining contest! - Conniption 10:02, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

It was an honor just to be nominated...even more of an honor since we, um, nominated ourselves. Modusoperandi 20:32, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

August 2006


Uh, hi. I am as you know terminally brain-dead and hooked up to a vending machine which is my only source of sustenance (running out of quarters--send help soon!)...so when I ask you to please define a n00b for the purposes of this contest, please don't beat me with a sharp platypus but instead Answer The Question!! Thx--Shandon 00:43, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

As it states in the details for the category n00bs are "defined as individuals who have only begun submitting articles within the three months prior to the start of the competition." Hope that helps... -- Sir Mhaille  Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Yes, my Special Needs eyes missed that one, gonna check again, but OK what is important to little ol' me is that I DO qualify. Thank you!--Shandon 00:51, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
In that case I wish you an unbiased "all the best"..... Sir Mhaille  Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Do I count, having not actually written anything since the last Poo Lit Surprise? That's way more than three months! Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 00:55, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
Mhaille, thanks that was inert....Famine: No. I don't think that meets the intent of the provision.--Shandon 01:00, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
You should try Wikipedia then. If we followed the intent of things, this place would break down. I mean, I scored Writer of the Month one month, for high quality deletions. I don't think that I *actually* wrote anything that entire month. So thus I have to ask about the three month requirement. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 01:33, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

I'm a noob

Yes, I can't even spell noob with zero's because it is grammatically incorrect. Yes, I'm that big a noob. Anyway, the competition page is blocked from editing, how am I supposed to enter my submission if the page is locked??!! Well?? Call me... Spawn Man 01:37, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

We'll be opening the door shortly, please form an orderly queue. Actually you can take longer to hone your work to a finely polished masterpiece. There's two weeks before the doors close again, so take your time. -- Sir Mhaille  Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
I'm gumming my knees with anticipation... Spawn Man 01:54, 1 August 2006 (UTC) P.S. Am I allowed to enter more than one article in each catagory??
Afraid its one entry per category. So take your time, and make sure you're adding your best work. -- Sir Mhaille  Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
There's nothing stopping you entering one in each of the categories though, so you can still do a few if you want, as long as each entry follows the rules of that category. Spang talk 02:04, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
Hey! The page is still locked, yet users have submitted! No fair peoples! *Cry*... Spawn Man 02:35, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

Best Illustrate Article

Does "original" picture mean one I took myself, or is a retouched pic okay? Modusoperandi 03:06, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

Retouched is ok, as long as you retouched it yourself, specifically for the article. Spang talk 05:06, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
I don't think I'd be retouching a pic of Vanilla Ice otherwise... Modusoperandi 05:16, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

Why? How? (n00b-a-thon)

How do I submit my thing? I can't edit the page. What do I do?

Thanks God someone other than me has the same problem! How the heck do we freakin' edit the Gad damned dammit freaky deaky omigosh bloody suprising difficult to edit page?!!!??!! Gosh freaky deaky bliming hell batman sake!!! Call me... Spawn Man 07:19, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
You probably coudn't edit it because it was protected from editing by unregistered and very new members for some reason. That has been changed now, and anyone should be able to edit it as you would any other page. Spang talk 01:41, 2 August 2006 (UTC)

ED removal

Is everyone allowed to remove the deleted pages from this(ED rewrite, for example)? Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

Best Article

If I submit an article in this category, do all of the pictures have to be original as well? I've heard a few different things, and if anyone can tell me definitively, it would be great. -- Sir C Icons-flag-us  Holla | CUN 19:45, 2 August 2006 (UTC)

I'll say no, BUT if you use unoriginal images it might lower the appreciation of the article by the Judges, but I think it would be more down to the specific image. For Best Article content is king, but nice wiki formatting, good image choice, placement, etc, may also filter in as criteria that may make an article stand out from those around it. -- Sir Mhaille  Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
I was essentially just wondering, if I could use a new, original image, but one thats not made by me. So it would be OK if I put an image request for it? I'm decent at best w/ photoshop. -- Sir C Icons-flag-us  Holla | CUN 20:02, 2 August 2006 (UTC)
Mhaille hits the crux of the matter quite well, here. While you are technically "allowed" to put a picture into your article that isn't yours, the "comedy value" that it adds will not be considered by the judges, much in the way that testimony that's striken from the record isn't considered by a jury. This is of course impossible, but that's the way it's technically SUPPOSED to go (kinda in a reverse "best illustrated article" way). That said, some judges will disregard that, but whatever. Do what you want about the pics, it won't "disqualify" you.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 16:38, 3 August 2006 (UTC)
Alright thanks. The writing will be all mine, I just know that pics from RadX are 800 billion times better than mine. -- Sir C Icons-flag-us  Holla | CUN 19:09, 3 August 2006 (UTC)

n00b or not?

I was just wondering...am i still considered a n00b? I'm relatively new, and I havent submitted much. I'm currently working on one for this contest,so can I still submit to the n00b section?--TrogdorTSL 21:31, 3 August 2006 (UTC)

The section states that anyone who has joined within the last three months can be considered a n00b for the purpose of this competition. Thanks.... -- Sir Mhaille  Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

Multiple entries!

The user Italiafutbol CigaroDiscorsoArticoli has posted the same entries over many & often multiple catagories. Can someone please explain the faecal ground rules to him? Thanks a bunch guys (& girls, but I doubt it due to the amount of Borneo dragonflies circling this summer....) Spawn Man 00:45, 4 August 2006 (UTC)

You can enter as many categories you want, but cannot use the same article for more then one category, and cannot enter a category more than once. Tompkinssig   Smallturtle  t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 04:14, 4 August 2006 (UTC)

Grande n00b Award

To whom it may concern: I found a red link in an article and decided to write something for it (Schoolhouse Rock). I edited it right where it was, would I be able to submit that page for competition? Under which category? If someone made a picture for it, would that disqualify the entry? --WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 23:47, 9 August 2006 (UTC)

Damit I can't do it

I don't know how to submit my artcle to the contest list. I read everything. I just to semi-noobish to know. HELP!--ConqueringKong 01:05, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

  • click "edit" beside whichever category you want to enter and add "[[User:ConqueringKong/Taser_Tag|Taser Tag]] ~~~~". "Show preview" to make sure you haven't accidently done a bad, bad thing and "Save page" to, well, save the page. Boom! You're an official Poo Lit entrant. Fame and riches await. Modusoperandi 01:24, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

Who am I?


I just have a small question.

For the purposes of the competition, but not for opening a bank account or visiting a zoo, do I qualify as a noob or not? I know it says something about three months or something but I thought I would ignore that and ask here instead because reading makes me tired and my head gets warm.

When I jump up and down, I feel a little bit strange - does that qualify?

Also, I know the competition is over and everything and as such is finished and completely at an end but I was wondering if I could enter anyway.

And is it ok if I enter with something I didn't write? I was going to write something but I was so busy wondering if I am a noob or not, and anyway writing makes me tired and my head gets warm. So I was wondering if I could enter something written by someone else and maybe add a full stop or something on the end.

Or could I just submit a blank page?

Or maybe, and I only just thought of this so if it sounds, you know "off the wall" or "crazy" or something then that's not my fault - maybe I could just, you know enter and then you can write something for me and decide if I am a noob or not. That would save me a lot of time and then when I win I can go and buy some eggs at the corner store.

Also, is it because I am a noob that people look at me funny in the street or is that something else?

Also, can you please tell me if the earth goes around the sun or if the sun goes around the earth.

Oh, yes, and one more thing, can I not enter the competition, but do it anonymously?

Thank you for answering all my questions and please don't be a right bastard about this or shout at me or throw chairs like the others do or anything.

--Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 02:33, 19 August 2006 (UTC)

If you had come up with this sooner you could've entered in in the competition. Pity...--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:48, 19 August 2006 (UTC)
Actually, I would say now is the perfect time to enter the competition. Fashionably late, I'd say. And on top of that, your non existant entry in very ironic, and so I decree that it wins in my books. Unfortunately, winning in my book just doesn't win you any money. Spang talk 01:07, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

February 2007


are these articles going to be unlocked so we can edit them again?--TrogdorTSL 02:37, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

I hope so. I joined yesterday and I'd like to see if the article I made has what it takes. User:Dennis Dunjinman/Paradise Valley Chemical --- Dennis Dunjinman 21:23, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
All of the comments above are from previous Poo Lits (or Poo Liti). The pages that you submit to Uncyclopedia :Poo Lit Surprise will only be locked for judging. Until then you can edit them until your keyboard begs for mercy.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 21:58, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
My last Poo Lit Suprise entry never got unlocked. This makes me sad. -- Thinking cap small »The Acceptable Cainad (Fnord) 20:36, 20 January 2007 (UTC)
Look at it again, silly bunny.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:47, 20 January 2007 (UTC)
Oh yeah, I neglected to mention I just unprotected and moved Silmarillion to the mainspace about 15 minutes ago. -- Hindleyite Converse 20:49, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

Rule Violation

Smrt-guy has added three articles for the Best Noob Article Category, when the rules clearly state that " You may enter only once for every category for which you are eligible." Please change this. --Sir OCdt Jedravent CUN UmP VFH PLS ACS WH 23:12, 26 January 2007 (UTC)

n00b definition

OK, I'm asking for clarification because the page says a n00b is:

  • "All users whose first contribution is after November 10, 2006..." and,
  • "Individuals who have only begun submitting articles after November 10, 2006."

So with his first edit on Nov 1, 2006 is User:The-elementalist a n00b or not? I've temporarily struck him pending an "official" ruling. --Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 06:50, 28 January 2007 (UTC)

I'm not Brad, but if I may toss in my two cents, if he hadn't submitted an article before Nov. 10 we should probably let him in since the rules are a bit contradictory. Better to use the more lenient guideline to be fair. —rc (t) 07:12, 28 January 2007 (UTC)
Given that his "contribution" was only one edit, I'm inclined to agree with you. It's probably better to go with the less-restrictive of the two definitions. --Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 13:42, 28 January 2007 (UTC)
The repetition was meant to clear up the definition, not confuse it. In both cases, it's stated that in order to be classified a n00b, you can't have edited before Nov. 10. I tried as best I could to make this clear, and any errors in semantics are mine. The user in question has several edits before Nov. 10, not just the one.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 13:45, 28 January 2007 (UTC)
The idea was to put a specific date on the "three month" rule given in the last PLS. November 10 is exactly 3 months before the winners will be announced.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 13:46, 28 January 2007 (UTC)

I didn't get to enter

nt -Unguided

There's always next time.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:08, 29 January 2007 (UTC)
Who knows when that will be?! --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 20:44, 29 January 2007 (UTC)
March 10, 2021. --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 20:45, 29 January 2007 (UTC)
Six months. -- Hindleyite Converse 20:47, 29 January 2007 (UTC)


To avoid a glut of PLS entries on VFH, can I recommend that each judge only nominate one article (if any) at any one time? If we have a ton of PLS entries at once, some of them will probably be unfortunately removed because VFH will just get too big. And we know how people feel about renoms. So try to nominate in moderation. —rc (t) 02:03, 5 February 2007 (UTC)

God, what's taking so long?

I mean, really? Don't we pay you folks enough? I see a bunch of good articles, yet no declaration of the winners. Do you think we like suspense? Hurry up! I need to know who the wieners are! Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 02/8 01:11

Don't make me turn the lights on and off, Famine. As Yoda might say, "Patience is a virtue.". But he'd put the "is" at the end. Muppets can get away with shit like that.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:17, 8 February 2007 (UTC)
You were kinda warned from Day 1 that the winners would be announced Feb 10.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 01:31, 8 February 2007 (UTC)
Yeah, yeah. Doesn't mean I can't be impatient. That's like a few days from now. Y'all need a reader or something? 'Cause I can read them for you, if need be. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 02/8 01:47
I demand a recount. -- Sir Mhaille  Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
/me takes grape from Mhaille's bowl. Hey, these are sour!--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:46, 8 February 2007 (UTC)
We've got another two days. I want to see if my article on PVC has what it takes. The suspense is killing me, but I'm sure we can wait until Saturday. Dennis Dunjinman 00:02, 9 February 2007 (UTC)
No. I think you should give into your inner demons. Watching you do so would give us all something to do while we wait as well. Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 00:42, 9 February 2007 (UTC)

July 2007


I was trying to enter my unNews article but this space is protected, but it is still before the 9th so wha?--Priestinacloset 22:02, 29 June 2007 (UTC)

The page is semiprotected now, meaning that IPs can't edit it... but unfortunately that also means very new registered users also can't. You can wait a few days and try again, or I'd be happy to enter it for you - I just need to know which category you want it under. Also, PLS entries can't be posted to the main article space before the contest ends, so I moved your article back to your userspace for now. —rc (t) 22:52, 29 June 2007 (UTC)
I've unprotected it, so feel free to submit your article now. —rc (t) 23:34, 29 June 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for unprotecting it. I put it on the list now. I have read this site forever and I figured I might as well give it a try. --Priestinacloset 00:52, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

Excellent! I hope the PLS brings out more lurkers. —rc (t) 01:12, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

I would enter...

...but I have a minor disability. I FUCKING SUCK at writing articles. ?|COMRADE_PONGO_V2|RUN_CMD|RUN_GSLYR 15:54, 25 June 2007 (UTC)

You could always collaborate with someone. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 16:22, 25 June 2007 (UTC)
But I'm a IP! 04:22, 26 June 2007 (UTC)
Get a damn account, damnit! -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly
  • PLS entries cannot have been submitted to Uncyclopedia before June 25. Also, PLS entries must be kept in userspace. Icons-flag-au Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 05:53, 25 June 2007 (UTC)

User:TheLedBalloon/HowTo:Play Russian Roulette -P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs)16:00, 25 June 2007 (UTC) - moved to best rewrite - jack mort | cunt | talk KodamaIcon - 19:02, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

Since this would technically also be a rewrite, would that still be eligible for entry in this category? -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 16:12, 25 June 2007 (UTC)
If it is, I may move it there, as well. I really just thought that it turned out better than the stuff I came up with myself. :) P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:20, 25 June 2007 (UTC)
PS: Actually, now that I think of it, it's also eligible for an "alternate namespace" award! Wow, now that's versatility!
Um, why can't I put the above article in the "Best Noob Page" category? I'm technically within the 3-month limit, and I feel like the page has a better shot there. I have another page that I could put there, but I was gonna stick it in the "alternate namespace" category(another HowTo). Anyways, please somebody tell me if I can't, and why not. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:12, 26 June 2007 (UTC)
  • PLS entries cannot have been submitted to Uncyclopedia before June 25. Also, PLS entries must be kept in userspace. Also, I don't think you can submit other people's articles. Icons-flag-au Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 05:48, 25 June 2007 (UTC)
It'd have to be submitted as a collaboration. But Cs1987 is right about the other two things. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 06:09, 25 June 2007 (UTC)
  • User:Gubby/Bureaucracy--Gubby 09:52, 25 June 2007 (UTC) (As I'm conserving nothing from the previous article on Beaurocracy, it could be just a plain article and not a rewrite. Your call, judges.)
This is more like an UnBook, actually. If it was in the mainspace that's where I'd move it. Especially because Bureaucracy itself doesn't really need rewriting. You could submit it for alternate namespace articles if you make it "UnBooks:Bureaucracy". -- Strange (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 12:15, 25 June 2007 (UTC)
It's written in a booky style, but I don't think that necesarily means it should be an Unbook; what would it be, Unbooks:my experiences with beaurocracy? Beaurocracy is snappier, easier to access and just generally better. Besides that, the current article on Beaurocracy is pretty much pointless, in my opinion, and doesn't do anything which my article doesn't.--Gubby 12:38, 25 June 2007 (UTC)
Basically, as soon as this hits the mainspace after PLS, it'll be moved to UnBooks:Bureaucracy. Nothing personal - it's just a naming convention (it happens to anything that reads like fiction), and it's one which allows us to keep both articles. I like them both, but equally - and if your rewrite isn't a whole lot better than what it's replacing, you're not likely to win in this category. Submit it under alternate namespace, and it stands a chance. -- Strange (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 23:37, 28 June 2007 (UTC)
Ah, that takes me back. I went to a naming convention once. Good times. Got my name there. Sold it on Ebay, I believe. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:30, 29 June 2007 (UTC)
Actually, Gubby, it's yours. I think that we can accept this as a totally new article, though that's really ENeGMA's decision. Leave him a message on his talk, see what he says. If he says yes, then choose where you want to put it.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 22:21, 27 June 2007 (UTC)
I'd say it's up to Gubby. Since it should be in the "Best Rewrite" category, it's only appropriate that after the PLS, the Bureaucracy article be replaced by Gubby's version. What happens to the article after its submission to the PLS is actually little of our concern, but up to the users who care about said article(s) (because we all know that we don't). The fate of the Bureaucracy article after the PLS is something that should be discussed on the talk page of that article after the PLS, not here and now. On the other hand, should he choose to change it to the UnBooks namespace (as it does read very much like an UnBook), then it would not be eligible for the Best Rewrite category. It's very simple, and again, up to Gubby. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 05:38, 29 June 2007 (UTC)

  • Ineligible. See your other entry for more details -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 17:51, 26 June 2007 (UTC)
  • Uh.. this is a blatant copy of an older article. Read the rules and make something original -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 17:50, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

Sorry mate, articles be started after the entry date. Haha, I made a rhyme! Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 12:07, 4 July 2007 (UTC)

I am crossing out this article. Nobody else did it. It was me. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 17:23, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

I have 1 question

My first edit is 1 day off from being able to enter for best article by a n00b can you make a 1 day exeption please? --The Great Yellow Crayon Get PWNED Yellow 130 is teh pwnz 01:21, 2 July 2007 (UTC)

Actually, your first edit was April 17th, and the competition started June 25th (rule for best n00b: Best Article written by someone whose first edit occurred less than 3 months ago per the start of the competition, June 25th). By my calculations, you are actually eligible to enter this category! --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 22:51, 2 July 2007 (UTC)

Well I don't want to argue but this is my first edit -->01:59, 24 February 2007 (hist) (diff) User:Yellow 130 Please make an exeption I beg you. --The Great Yellow Crayon Get PWNED Yellow 130 is teh pwnz 23:46, 2 July 2007 (UTC)

Ahhh. I see now. I looked at it wrong. Sorry about that. Well, I don't see why not; we're not about red tape. You're only one day short after all. Go for it. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 23:53, 2 July 2007 (UTC)
Of course, it's not up to EMC. It's up to ENeGMa, who is all about the red tape, from what I hear. He only listens to The Internationale, or am I slipping into the obscure again? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:00, 3 July 2007 (UTC)
God damn you, MO. Get back into the cage. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 01:34, 3 July 2007 (UTC)
Not until someone changes the cedar chips. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:33, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, go for it. Here's why I'll make this exception: all your first edits were userpage, and those don't count per the rule I just now made up. So enjoy. And don't anyone press me on breaking my own rules. Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 02:47, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

Just out of curiosity....

How often does the PLS come around? Is it a yearly thing, or does it just occur randomly? P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:26, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

Every 3-6 months, approximately. -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 20:31, 3 July 2007 (UTC)
An 18 or higher on a d20 leads to a critical hit, or "Poo Lit" in D&D lingo. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:52, 3 July 2007 (UTC)
It all has to do with the sun's relationship to the equator during the Vernal equinox. ENeGMA enjoys long evenings with his telescope and book of occult celestial bodies.. --THINKER 21:00, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

Ooooohhhhh, the vernal equinox. And here I was doing all my calculations based on the autumnal equinox. Well I feel silly. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:06, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

See, that happened to me at first also (since I mean c'mon, the autumnal is so much more obvious a basis). I had to clarify with ENeGMA on it; I wouldn't recommend talking to him about it though.. he seemed pretty interested in showing off his telescope, and I didn't see any stargazing equipment anywhere at the time... --THINKER 21:12, 3 July 2007 (UTC)
Trust me, I know that feeling. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:51, 3 July 2007 (UTC)
You were asking for it. Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 12:34, 4 July 2007 (UTC)


Zombiebaron submitted this to Alternate Namespace, and this to Illustrated Article. Apart from synonym differences in the introductory and conclusion paragraphs, as well as the title, and a slightly edited image, there's no difference. Checking the history of one of the entries shows that it is, essentially, a copy/paste of the other. Now... if Enegma and the others in charge of the PLS say it's fine, then I'm fine with it, too. I just want to make sure ZB isn't going too far here. --Andorin Kato 23:26, 6 July 2007 (UTC)

ZB exploiting a loophole?! NEVAR!!! ;) --THINKER 04:14, 7 July 2007 (UTC)
Zombiebaron exploiting a loophole in the Zombiebaron Rule? Preposterous! -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 04:19, 7 July 2007 (UTC)
Oh, it's OK, I'll just have to change the rules again. Zombiebaron is not allowed to enter the PLS has a certain ring to it, I think... Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 12:41, 7 July 2007 (UTC)
  • So, let me just jump in here. No, hands up if you like the idea of rules changing right before a contest ends? For instance, where you to entere a "Pink Jump Suit Race", but when you showed up, you were no longer allowed to wear pink. I don't. When ENeGMA made the rules, he should have made good rules that didn't need changing. Also, who took my article out of Best Illustrated? If anything, I should have one article in Best Illustrated and no articles in Best Alternate at the moment. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 18:11, 7 July 2007 (UTC)
Smooth Famine. Real smooth. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 18:12, 7 July 2007 (UTC)
So you say you only want an article in Illustrated and not Alt Namespace? Sounds good to me. -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 20:34, 7 July 2007 (UTC)
No, I'm saying that what I did follows the rules, but if you all cry so much that those rules change, thus making me cry (but I'd be crying "Foul!", so its different), then you should keep the oldest of my two articles. But that's not going to happen, because I followed the rules. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 20:40, 7 July 2007 (UTC)
I don't know what dictionary you use, but there's a difference between the words "follow" and "exploit" -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 20:51, 7 July 2007 (UTC)
Okay, so the PLS isn't perfect, like many things on Uncyclopedia. But it's instances like these that let us create and revise rules and guidelines to make a more functional Poo Lit Surprise. Zombiebaron makes a good point, as the rules prior to this incident didn't specify that an article couldn't be submitted to more than one category. But now they do. Sorry for the inconvenience. We'll be hiring a panel of experts from Yale, Harvard, and John Adams Middle School after this PLS to look into possible loopholes, errors, and exceptions in the current rules. By the next PLS, we expect to have a 200 page book of guidelines you will be required to read before entering. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 21:03, 7 July 2007 (UTC)
Not to mention that all of us will be confined to the US detention camp in Guantanamo for the duration of the article submitting, to avoid "exploiting" and "loopholing". ~Jewriken.GIF 13:40, 8 July 2007 (UTC)
I should point out that the jumpsuits are a comfortable and breathable poly-cotton blend. Also, orange is your colour. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 13:54, 8 July 2007 (UTC)
Matches my eyes perfectly. ~Jewriken.GIF 13:58, 8 July 2007 (UTC)
Actually, if anything, you broke the rule against plagiarism by plagiarizing yourself. The rules don't need to be changed at all. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 17:38, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

If the article (and it is the same article, let's not pretend we're too stupid to figure out synonyms) isn't in one, and only one, category, by the end of the competition, it won't be in either. I don't see how any of this is difficult to follow, and I don't see how any rule system could prevent someone from undermining them. Any rule can be bent or broken, any THING can bent or broken. Everyone knows this, and so what does vandalism accomplish? Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 14:22, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

I beg to differ. I can't be broken. I'm as nimble as a willow. ~Jewriken.GIF 15:48, 8 July 2007 (UTC)
Wait wait wait. Did ENeGMA just call me a vandal? Looks like somebody is taking this just a wee-bit to seriously. I didn't "break" any rule, all I did was notice the lack of fairly major rule. Sadly, all of you seem to be focused on something called "perfection", and have lost sight of the fact that Uncyclopedia isn't supposed to be about rules, money, or calling me names. It's supposed to be about laughing and having fun. This whole "Zombiebaron Rule Saga" has really shown me what some users are willing to do in order to deviate from the main goal of Uncyclopedia. It makes me sad. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 17:19, 8 July 2007 (UTC)
It is about 'laughing and having fun', but I certainly can't allow someone to undermine the rules of a competition where actual cash money is stake. That would be unfair to EVERY other competitor. So yes, to you, it might have been good fun. And maybe I'm being a serious asshole here, I can't tell. But you have to realize that I'm taking time to do this for the community as a whole, and it isn't fair to me, or to them, to have the rules undermined in such a potentially harmful way. So that's where I'm coming from on this. While this competition is fun, and is humorous, there still are rules that have to be enforced. It's my responsibility to run this event fairly and effectively. And so it would irresponsible of me to allow you to have your fun, even if you did intend it purely as fun, just as it's irresponsible to let children play unattended in a pool. Yeah, being the arbiter makes you a stuck-up asshole. I know that. But I could hardly allow you or anyone else to simply walk right through the paper walls I constructed for this event. So what's why I responded as I did. So let's consider the issue settled. Thanks. Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 18:06, 8 July 2007 (UTC)
I think Zombiebaron is right. He could run this competition better than ENeGMA, and I thank him for volunteering to run the next PLS. You've got 6 months to plan, Zb.  ;)--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 23:05, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

Submissions have ended

Do we start judging now? --General Insineratehymn 00:02, 9 July 2007 (UTC)

Yes. You have 2-3 weeks. Get crackin'! -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 00:03, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
OMGOMGOMGOMG! Arr we, liek, sarting? Rfo reel? Im' so ecksited eye c'ant eevin speel! Sumoen pinhc mee! P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:16, 9 July 2007 (UTC)

So how do we review the submissions? Do we use pros and cons? --General Insineratehymn 00:19, 9 July 2007 (UTC)

Use the Pee Review template. --~ Tophatsig 00:20, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Top 3, probably. Good ol' Top 3. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:28, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Something similar to this. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 00:32, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Oh god, no. Top 3, in order from best to 2nd runner up, is sooo much less complicated. Complicated is bad. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:44, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Don't listen to MO. He's Canadian. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 00:53, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Hose off, eh. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:04, 9 July 2007 (UTC)

Fuck, I forgot about the British time being used.. Oh well, good luck to the mainspace competitors; you now have no competition. ;) --THINKER 00:47, 9 July 2007 (UTC)

I see only one reasonable way to settle this debate. Battle Royale! P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:56, 9 July 2007 (UTC)

Do whatever you want. You're the judges, you judge however you see fit (within reason). I'll send more specific instructions here shortly. Stay attuned. Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 00:59, 9 July 2007 (UTC)

What do we (the judges) win? --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 01:14, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Freedom. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:17, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
The fact that you preside over the entire competition is the reward. You rule over all subordinate contributors. The prestige of the position leads me to believe that I'll end up in the judges position at some not-too-distant point in the future. :) --THINKER 01:19, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Naw, there won't be any judges for the next PLS. Yes, that's right Bradaphraser, I have started planning. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:27, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Mmm, I can't wait to see how that turns out. Do me a favor and allow for some exploitable loopholes so we can have this same level of comedy occur next year. --THINKER 01:30, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Acctaully, if you must know, the rules will all be kept secret. I'll ban anyone who breaks the rules. Also, guess what the first rule is? -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:40, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Something about a club of some sort? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:44, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Will that be with the fancy little toothpicks or without, sir? -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:45, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
With. Please. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:47, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
And to drink? -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:49, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
A Canadian...and get one for yourself. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:22, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Well, I see that insineratehymn has already finished, and would like to add "HOLY CRAP!" How'd you do that? P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:51, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
I'll field that one: "Badly" >_> -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 01:52, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
SERIOUSLY. --THINKER 01:59, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
Hey, at least your article was listed -__- -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 02:28, 9 July 2007 (UTC)

Seems Famine is having the same problem I had last night. Here I mean, not that problem.. --THINKER 17:54, 9 July 2007 (UTC)

I had the time, but failed to consider that I'd get a couple of phone calls and a round of tech-support questions over IM. I was also hoping that June 25 - July 9 was inclusive. Didn't pay real attention to the "On July 9th page will be locked" bit. Perhaps next time we can A) Specify that it's GMT, and B) not overlap dates, eh? Editing June 25 - July 8 would have worked for me. Anyway, best of luck to the rest of the competitors, and WTF, you overachieving monkeys to the "insta-judges" for that category. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 07/9 20:17

My PLS entry

User:Scott/United States of America It's obviously incomplete. Can I get it removed form being PLS entry since it's not done?--Scott 03:28, 10 July 2007 (UTC)

That doesn't seem to matter to Insineratehymn D: -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 03:30, 10 July 2007 (UTC)


Winners will be announced from July 23rd — July 30th.

Scoring didn't seem all that difficult; with 2 weeks for judging, whats with the week-long announcements? Or was that supposed to mean "Winners will be announced on some day between the 23rd and 30th"? --THINKER 05:58, 10 July 2007 (UTC)

Contrary to popular belief, some users have this crazy thing called a, now get this, a life. Yeah, I know. What are Earth is that, you say? The hell if I know. But it gives 'em time just in case to review everythin'. Spacer Spacer PremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 08:42, 10 July 2007
Three consecutive weeks of life? Wouldn't that render one ineligible to judge a contest populated by the lifeless? --THINKER 08:45, 10 July 2007 (UTC)
You would think so. Spacer Spacer PremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 08:48, 10 July 2007
Life? You mean patrolling the recent changes?! ~Jewriken.GIF 09:09, 10 July 2007 (UTC)

Really, we'll just announce winners whenever the judging is done, which is hopefully fairly soon. Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 14:48, 10 July 2007 (UTC)

If only judges like Cap'n Ben hadn't taken a WikiBreak for two weeks.... -- Sir Mhaille  Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
We could always just throw away the judges in that category and announce my article to be the winner. That ought to save a lot of time, and stuff. -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 16:25, 10 July 2007 (UTC)

Denied of an awards show...

...in which I could make a speech long enough that they would have to bring the music up and the curtain down on me, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you. I so happy, even I could Queef! Hugs! Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:59, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

Though I question the prowess of certain officials in this competition, I'm quite happy that you won, Ms. Pretty. Congrats to all the winners. :) --THINKER 01:09, 24 July 2007 (UTC)
You can always write an UnNews story. That's what I did after stumbling into a couple of awards. I'm like that. Always giving back 'n' shit. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:26, 24 July 2007 (UTC)

Red links

Since some of the pages have been moved from userpages to mainspace (and the redirects were huffed), can someone update the page to fix the red links? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 07:23, 25 July 2007 (UTC)

Seconded. Then again, one or both of us might be an admin by the time someone else notices this. Icons-flag-au Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 07:34, 25 July 2007 (UTC)
We should clone the admins. That way we just need to say, "Thaw out another Xamralco", when one flakes out. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 08:13, 25 July 2007 (UTC)
For the record, TLB's article is located at Russian Roulette now, as to avoid confusion. -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 13:01, 25 July 2007 (UTC)
Links fixed. —rc (t) 19:29, 27 July 2007 (UTC)
Silly users. Didn't they know they were supposed to redirect their pages to the articles? --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 20:06, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

January 2008


This is technically open now? -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 01:27, 13 January 2008 (UTC)

  • Maybe, although I only see one big ugly template on the front page. -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 01:29, Jan. 13, 2008
    • Its 8:40 here, so NO. --THINKER 01:40, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
      • You already said that! I thought we go by whatever time recent changes says, eh? -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 01:41, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
        • We're going by what THINKER says, just like everything else around here. Did you like, write the whole thing already and are planning to just post it as soon as the contest starts or something? That might now be legal man! --THINKER 01:44, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
        • TKF, you realize that Recent Changes should say the same time as your clock, right? Its set in the prefrences. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:48, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
  • As a judge, I am personally ready to begin crushing all of your dreams as soon as it's time. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:50, Jan 13
    ME TOO! Prepare to be severely disappointed with your perceived writing abilities!!! --THINKER 01:57, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
And I, as the Judge Judge, am ready to point out something about someone that will tottally not result in me winning Best Judge again. For sure. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 17:19, 13 January 2008 (UTC)

Shall I make tea for the judges?Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 01:59, 13 January 2008 (UTC)

Will the tea have vicodin in it? They hid my pills. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:26, Jan 13
Only if you choose to pass up the pot steeped in poppy seeds for a year. Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 15:17, 13 January 2008 (UTC)


I don't remember from the last one, and of course I can't be bothered to look myself, so I pose the question: are we going to be notified of who judges which category? And yes Pretty, two lumps in my vicodin tea please. --THINKER 16:38, 13 January 2008 (UTC)

I'll give ya a lump, why you... *boing* Nyuck-nyuck-nyuck. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 17:01, Jan 13
I prefer slapstick of the Tom and Jerry variety (a true statement and a polite way to tell you to shut up -- think about it, I haven't) ;). Oh and like, judging and stuff...? I'm not vice president and acting treasurer of this committee for nothing damn it! --THINKER 19:13, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
link -RAHB 19:34, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
There we go, thank you RAHB. --THINKER 19:41, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
And the answer is "Yes". All of the judges will be notified before the judging begins. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 19:58, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
When will I receive my commemorative coffee mug? --THINKER 20:08, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
See here. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 20:28, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
I'm still judging best rewrite, right? And who are my two co-conspriators? (Posted by Prettiesypretty 20:31, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
Yep. See here. Your two co-conspirators are Tom Mayfair and Enzo Aquarius. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 20:34, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
The only judge I'm worried about is Contestant, I dunno whether he's still active. Are you there, Contestant? WE NEED YOU! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:56, Jan 14
Talked to him last night in IRC, he's still around. --THINKER 17:11, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
Excellent...all the elements of my plan are finally coming together! Muahahaha! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 17:15, Jan 14

The Money

Do you really win $20.00 or is just Monopoly money?--Æ 23:39, 14 January 2008 (UTC)

I have forty bucks and a lovely card from wikia that says you really win cash. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:42, Jan 14
You really win money! The competition is sponsored by Wikia. Sannse usually handles distribution of the prizes. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 02:09, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
Its not Monopoly money? WHY THE FUCK AM I JUDGING! --THINKER 02:46, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
So that you can win The Mystery Prize for Best Judge. Of course. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 03:32, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

I won the last go around for best rewrite for Queef. You get $20 US dollars (or the equivelent) six grams of mind blowing black hash, a couple pencils with feathers and in an envelope full of confetti. On the whole, it was worth it. Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 03:12, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

I also got a young Vietnamese hooker, but that was only because I won two categories. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:50, Jan 15
Yes, I think you should probably mention how you won two categories again. Some people may not have understood the first time. I hear that some people don't even speak the same language as us, and you have to say things really slowly to them. Maybe you should try that. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 03:55, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
Hey Zombiebaron, did I ever tell you about that time I won two categories in the PLS? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:58, Jan 15
Hey, that's only six fewer than the number of venereal diseases you've contracted from Olipro Thai hookers. —rc (t) 07:08, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
Hey Led - I didn't know that you won twice! Tell us more about it! Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:44, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
Why, of course! It was last summer, you see, and I was still fairly new to uncyc--under the 3 month noob-minimum, anyways. I already had a feature or two, and i figured I might as well enter this contest. I started writing my first article, typing and typing. That was when the ninjas attacked! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:48, Jan 16
.....and then....?-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 19:30, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
Well, naturally I had to fight them off. You see, I had trained for many moons with Kung Foo Master Pai-Lo Fyt. These ninjas were good, though. We traded blows, one of them and I, but suddenly I saw an opening in his guard. I took a chance and used my Prancing Jackalope" technique, and struck. To my surprise, I felt my hand punch through solid metal. These were no ordinary ninjas! These were robots!! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:54, Jan 26

Oh by the way

Judges can't enter the competition as writers! --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 22:03, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

On a similar note, can a link to the judges page be provided? It would be nice to know to what audience we are catering. -- Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 22:05, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
Ideally, you shouldn't know who the judges are until the end of the competition (just as, ideally, they shouldn't know who wrote what they're reading until it's over). You aren't writing for them. You're writing...for eternity! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:13, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
A link is already provided on the page: "All registered members of Uncyclopedia are encouraged to enter so long as they are not a judge in the competition. Judges are not allowed to enter the competition as writers (see here for the list of judges)." --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 22:18, 15 January 2008 (UTC)


on the 'best rewrite' competition...do we simply copy & paste an existing page to be rewritten into our userspace, do we move the article to be rewritten to userspace, do we start over again in userspace, or do we just rewrite the article in mainspace? --SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:41, 18 January 2008 (UTC)

Copy and paste into Userspace, edit as you wish. Once the competition is over, Judgeops will move it into mainspace. --THINKER 19:50, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
....should it be deemed worthy enough to replace the existing one. -- Sir Mhaille  Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Right. I gotta remember not to assume that off the bat. :) --THINKER 20:10, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
The sixth one. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 19:34, 19 January 2008 (UTC)


I've been meaning to ask... so who's providing the prizes this time round? I mean, I know it can't be me/Wikia, because no one asked me about it... or mentioned it was on again even. Jes askin an all -- sannse@Wikia (talk) 10:51, 21 January 2008 (UTC)

I hear Mhaille is offering a pancake and Modus is donating a haddock. Dunno, just rumours. -- Hindleyite Converse 19:31, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
Hammock. I may be in it, too. That's the bonus prize. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:15, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
Meh, I suppose we can scrap up prizes from here and there... and when I say "scrape up", I mean that literally. Road-kill can be valuable you know! -- sannse@Wikia (talk) 12:38, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
Well you said "scrap up" though.. And of course, scrap books are beautiful memories, so I would suspect them to be of some value as well.. Roadkill scrapbook? Hmm.. --THINKER 17:17, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
You are supposed to read what I mean, not what I type! -- sannse@Wikia (talk) 17:54, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
I think that is pretty much the principle on which every one of my poorly-written articles is based. --THINKER 18:35, 22 January 2008 (UTC)

Dear judges,

Please tell me you're using firefox and not ie. --monika 04:02, 26 January 2008 (UTC)

Everybody who is anybody uses Netscape Navigator. It's so retro. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:12, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
I'm using whatever will make you lose more. --THINKER 04:13, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
Personally, I'm currently running a typewriter hooked up to a hamster wheel and plugged into my phone. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:18, Jan 26
Now I'm regretting not phrasing my question "Don't tell me..." Here's a perfect chance for a Get Smart joke and I blew the setup. --monika 04:21, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
Well, see, back in my day, we didn't have no fancy optimized internet browsers...WE HAD PAIN! (FU edit conflict) -RAHB 04:24, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
Also, "aah, the old 'goddamit, I fucked up the perfect chance for a Get Smart joke' trick." -RAHB 04:26, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
Missed it by that much. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:40, 26 January 2008 (UTC)

I'd like to complain about...

Fuckyeah2 CERTIFIED HILARIO Fuckyeah2

...What's this *Best Main Space Articles* AKA "simply known as *Best Article*"?? ANY article entered should have the potential to be Best Article of the competition. N00bs, Alternate Name Spaces and Illustrations shouldn't enter this world pre-handicapped just because their muse came from a different source. <thumps chest>--Sir Shandon GUN (Talk) (Trophy Room) 14:38, 27 January 2008 (UTC)

I'd like to complain, but apathy eats away at my soul. -- Sir Mhaille  Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
<trashtalk>If you want to play with the big boys, then enter your article in the best article category. It'll make the competition in the lesser categories that much easier.</trashtalk> --monika 16:33, 27 January 2008 (UTC)

Um...it's an UnScript...an Alternate Namespace...that's the category it belongs in. Also, maybe you should check up on other users and their history before you open your big mouth.--Sir Shandon GUN (Talk) (Trophy Room) 16:43, 27 January 2008 (UTC)

 ::facepalm:: --monika 16:47, 27 January 2008 (UTC)

Nice 90s comeback!!--Sir Shandon GUN (Talk) (Trophy Room) 16:50, 27 January 2008 (UTC)

I'm out. I'm clearly outsomethinged. --monika 16:52, 27 January 2008 (UTC)

This section deserves a "certified hilario" template.

Peace! We outta here. --THINKER 17:29, 27 January 2008 (UTC)

"Peace with honor". -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 17:31, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
That would be known as "Ron Paul" but of course you're Canadian and don't count.. --THINKER 17:33, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
I was acctaully quoting Richar Nixon. But since I'm Canadain, I obviously can't keep track of what I'm talking about. Four more years! -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 17:36, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
Right. But if you actually want that, like, check out Ron Paul.. man. ;) --THINKER 17:42, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
So, Ron Paul loves naplam, agent orange, and Watergate? Damn, I should pay more attention to CNN... -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 17:45, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
Nevermind coppertop. Just keep the fuckin' wheels movin' around here and I'll play dead. --THINKER 17:54, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
I thought that was FOXNews?--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 17:55, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
No, I think Thinkerer's quoting Dirty Harry now. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 18:00, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
Certified Hilario. Someone namedrop EugeneKay to get on that asap. --THINKER 18:03, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
I'm lazy. The end.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 18:51, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
Bird hand CERTIFIED BUZZKILL Bird hand
The end.
W00p. --THINKER 21:37, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
Actually, "Best Article" is just an older term for it before we had a category for articles which were of alternate namespaces. It was felt that alternate namespaces and "normal" articles couldn't be compared, so that's why the differentiation was made. "Best Article" doesn't really mean "Best Article of the Competition". --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 19:02, 27 January 2008 (UTC)

So, um, my article is still locked.

So, um, my article is still locked. --monika 18:52, 13 February 2008 (UTC)

I pinged Mhaille on IRC. He said it tingled. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:00, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
Thanks and all, and sorry for the trouble. And 26/27ths of my article is still locked. --monika 20:11, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
::run away crying::
--monika 22:06, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
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