Uncyclopedia talk:Imperial Colonization/Batman

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THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN SUCCESSFULLY COLONIZED AND THIS TALK PAGE COPIED TO Talk:Batman. Then, when we decided to move Batman to Bruce Wayne, we copied our part of the talk page from Talk:Batman to Talk:Bruce Wayne. Hey, we colonize everywhere!

edit Sunday - Wednesday: Concept and development

During the four days from Sunday, 28 February 2010, to Wednesday, 3 March 2010, ideas for the current colonization, which is


can be hashed out here. The discussion below should be geared towards what sort of concept the article will have. All colonizers are welcome to participate in the discussion.

On early Thursday, 4 March 2010, a general outline from these ideas will be compiled and posted on the main Colonization page. Other things that could happen during this planning phase include deciding which participants will be working on which sections, although that is optional.

Post your opinions and ideas for BATMAN below.

edit Resources to guide discussions

Through the history of colonization, some things have been found to work well. You might want to check User:SysRq/Example_Colonization and see Uncyclopedia talk:Imperial Colonization/Creationism and the sections that follow it for ideas on how to begin. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 05:08, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

edit Me first

Okay - brief skimming through the history of this, and other than a lot of images from comics, not much worth looking at. And the next person who puts a motivational poster on as an image, and then adds a second caption, is going to get kicked in the head. Really. I mean, don't these already have captions? Initial thought is to go left of centre and either do something about a creature that is half man half bat - probably from mythology. Second thought is to do a profile on Donald Bradman, nicknamed "Batman" for his outstanding cricketing prowess, and because of rhyming slang. However, neither of these really excite me. How about a straight parody of Wikipedia:Batman?                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 05:50, 28/02/2010

edit Credit Crunch Idea

Isn't Bruce Wayne a billionaire or something? Could the recent economic downturn have hit him bad meaning he's now totally skint. This would mean he can no longer afford all the expensive equipment and has to have crappy cheap alternatives. No Batmobile - just some rust-bucket. Maybe he can no longer afford the web he shoots at and is largely ground-based. Alcohol could have become a problem and he could have had a few swinging straight into concrete building incidents. He might have had to make Robin redundant and had to offer a severage package.

web = spiderman. But I see your point.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 19:57, 28/02/2010
Oh yeah...I'm crap with superheroes. mAttlobster. (hello) 20:01, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
One thing I think we need to do is try and avoid the clichéd stuff - Gay Batman, Adam West, etc. I was thinking that Batman - if transported into a real world - would actually be a delusional psychotic criminal. He is a vigilante who is constantly is trying to deal with the death of his parents as a child by beating up petty criminals. He has so many abandonment issues that he eventually loses his tenuous grip on reality and dresses up as a bat. Maybe something written in the style of a psychoanalytical profile from a criminal psychologist. Maybe even a report by Vicky Vale?                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 20:21, 28/02/2010
I'm trying to back away and let other colonizers discuss a direction for the article, but here I'll make an exception. As I said when I nominated this article for colonization, I unfortunately didn't see much I thought was worth saving in the history. And while I will be guided by the consensus of my fellow colonizers, I also would prefer not having another "Hey Batman and the young Boy Wonder hang out together all the time obviously gay HA HA FUNNY!" WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 02:22, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
In spite of what I said above, I just found there was some pseudo-psychological stuff related to Batman and Robin possibly being homosexual that may go all the way back to 1954's Seduction of the Innocent. That's the book by psychiatrist Fredric Wertham that led to the creation of the comics code, so maybe we could use some of this IF we keep it psycho-serious: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman#Homosexual_interpretations WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 09:18, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

edit Psycho analysis Batman

Actually, the more I think about this idea the more merit it has to me. Given the several billion incarnations of the bat the more and more material we can use. For those that are unaware of the basic story, Bruce Wayne as a child was out with his parents when they were killed in a mugging. However in different incarnations he is:

  • At the cinema watching Zorro
  • At the cinema watching Dracula
  • At the Opera watching Die Fledermaus

In different incarnations he was:

  • Attacked by a random mugger
  • Attacked by the Joker before he became the joker

At different times he is referred to as:

  • A detective (DC stands for Detective comics)
  • A trained ninja (trained by Rhas a ghul, or however it's spelled)
  • A billionaire
  • An inventor

And all this is before he come to the fact he was played by Adam West, Christian Bale, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer and George Clooney. The Joker was played by Jack Nicholson and Heath ledger. Catwoman was Eartha Kitt, Michelle Pfieffer, and Halle Berry.

So my idea is that this becomes the Diary of a psychologist (maybe Dr. Jonathan Crane, the scarecrow, who is frustrated as he has been a well respected Doctor for many years but due to an unfortunate nickname keeps getting called Frasier) who works in Arkham Asylum. The patient - Bruce Wayne - is one that the good Doctor has recently reduced his medication as the patient was in a constant semi-vegetative state. It is the Doctors hope that he can rehabilitate the patient and have them back out into society by psychoanalysis alone.

However as the effects of the drugs wear off the patient becomes more and more restless and each time he tells a story of his life the details keep changing. There is exploration of his childhood (the accident), his love life (focusing on Catwoman), and his vigilante exploits, the adoption of Robin/Nightwing/whatever else he is called, and his career as a detective/playboy/ninja/inventor. He accuses the Doctor at times of being the scarecrow, and then Sideshow Bob, and then the joker, and finally refers to the Doctor as Fraser. The Doctor, after this final straw, decides that the therapy isn't working and he ups the meds again to bring him back down to the vegetative state. Doctor Crane declares that although this experiment was a failure, he has high hopes for the potential rehabilitation of the unnamed patient who refers to himself as "the Joker".

And another resource is - batman wiki                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 21:08, 28/02/2010
I like this idea. I think the more serious in tone and professional the language of the analysis, the funnier it would be. mAttlobster. (hello) 22:02, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
I too, like this provided the "side notes" of the psychologists notes actually do reveal that he is indeed the real Batman, but we'll never know because he's been placed back into a medical coma...?  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  02 Mar 2010 ~ 04:40 (UTC)
By consensus, it will be Psycho analysis Batman. And by the way, I personally love this idea. But to merge the "Bruce Wayne only imagines he's Batman" with "Bruce Wayne really is Batman" how about we leave it hanging at the end? One way to do this might be to have the loyalty of the psychiatrist be in doubt because we learn at the end it's someone who really was said to be a psychiatrist associated with helping insane people at Arkham Asylum, and then hepled one escape, and then became an enemy of Batman, and then as associate of Batman; namely, this person--or that person could work really well. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 23:57, March 3, 2010 (UTC)


PLEASE DON'T EDIT THIS SECTION (except maybe for minor grammar/spelling problems). Please post notes below it.

This is the general guideline for writing this article. Every detail here isn't carved in stone, but this is still a guide. See http://batman.wikia.com or any other Batman material for background.

Bruce Wayne is housed as a mental patient in the Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane. It is technically modern day, but his tiny domain holds the gothic eeriness of Edgar Allen Poe and H. P. Lovecraft. The 1954 Comics Code Authority never set foot here. No code ever sanitized out the "excessive violence" and "lurid, unsavory, gruesome illustrations" and "sex perversion", "sexual abnormalities", and "illicit sex relations."

A psychatrist injects Wayne to bring him out of a drug-induced, vegetative state. The drug is named, and the psychiatric methods used feel as real as a nightmare. Wayne claims he's a masked crimefighter called The Batman. (Perhaps he also claims his name is Val Kilmer, or Adam West, or Christian Bale, or Michael Keaton, or George Clooney.) He claims he's a detective, a martial artist, an inventor, a billionaire. He talks of his sidekicks, his loves, his enemies. The psychiatrist asks questions and takes notes.

At the end of the session, the psychiatrist reports that the patient is incurable. He reinjects Wayne with the drug that will return him to a vegetative state. But the reader will be left wondering: Is Bruce Wayne really a psychotic whom the psychiatrist truly hoped to help, or is he actually the imprisoned and sane Dark Knight struggling to rise through his drug-induced nightmares? Perhaps the identity of the psychiatrist will give a clue. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 02:53, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

edit Another theory

Gru emblem

Russian Batman?

Let's talk about Batman as the founder of Melbourne, a philantropist, a superhero, and Holy Dove, Batman, don't forget Robin! GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 00:46, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your suggestion, but the above theme is by consensus, and is the guideline for colonization of this article. If you want to add details related to what you posted that fit the theme, feel free to add them to the article. You're a highly experienced colonizer (a heck of a lot more than me), and we can use your help. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 01:11, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
That, and as one of the only two people here who know the humour behind Batman being the founder of Melbourne, I don't think it would work beyond the two of us. (Bloody rainy long weekends!)                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 04:15, 6/03/2010
One other note, in regard to Robin: it does say "He talks of his sidekicks." WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 05:05, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

edit The end of Batman

This isn't official policy or anything, just an idea that I'd like colonizers' opinions on.

If you don't know, in the Batman mythos Dr. Jonathan Crane was a Professor of Psychology at Gotham University, and Metropolis State Psychiatric Hospital exists (although I don't know if it says he studied there). Dr. Crane is also the villian Scarescrow, who wins through fear, often by using gas or some other creation. At the end of the article, I see Batman identifying him as Scarecrow, and also identifying Crane's assistant, whom I see as a psychiatric intern at Arkham Asylum, Harleen Quinzel. (By the mythos, she isn't terribly bright, but got good grades by seducing her professors). She's also known as the villian Harley Quinn. After Batman correctly identifies them--or the delusional Bruce Wayne continues his superhero/villian delusion--he returns to his comatose, vegetative state. What think? WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 05:43, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

It says Dr. Crane studied psychology but is prescribing drugs and doing psychiatry. Really that's not how it works. To do that you have to be a medical doctor. Could we make him an MD? DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 16:04, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
I believe you're right. In the source material I looked at, it said he studied psychology, but also said he did a lot of work with medicines and practiced psychiatry. We could:
  1. State that he has a medical degree
  2. Have Bruce Wayne himself suspect that the Dr. might not be qualified to do what he's doing, and question it.
WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 07:19, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

edit Direction?

I just got here... and is there any further plans for the direction of this article other then what has been written above? I may have some ideas, but I want to make sure they are not canceled out by any plans that have been made already. Rifting Icons-flag-us Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain Icons-flag-ca 382 - LOB17px-Compassrose.gif 18:58, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

I'm working on some things right now. As we're half way through the one-week extension, I'M BATMAN is more-or-less set in concrete, but the rest isn't. I'll have some more stuff posted in the article, probably within the hour. But nothing I write is set in concrete, and is subject to change by any colonizer, including you. :-) WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:48, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

edit Wow! What a difference a day makes!


Man! I really like what you've done with the article Why, keep up the good work! I think there should be a small section on how the psychiatrist thinks the alternate earth theme is ridiculous, that it seems, "bizzarro" (and possibly that it must be some kind of "epic or infinite" "crisis" for Mr. Wayne to keep all of this in his head).  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  18 Mar 2010 ~ 04:46 (UTC)

Thanks. As for your small alternate earth section idea? You have just a couple days left--write it. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:52, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
Ok.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  19 Mar 2010 ~ 05:11 (UTC)

edit More bat pics

Good work so far, colonizers! We're now in the final stretch before Pee Review. I think it would be good if we had one pic for each of the sections that doesn't have one. For the most part, let's keep them dark, although a lighter one here and then can break it up. Something like how the red, green and yellow dressed Robin was originally added to lighten up the Batman comic and give it color--literally. Remember, deadline is Saturday, 20 March 2010. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 03:49, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

That vid may be perfect, imnho, for an ender to the page. Full size too, like a damn tv screen. It looks like Matfen uploaded it from somewhere else and used it in mini-size in his Christian Bale page, yet it seems very effective in full size. If it was created here I'd say it would be feature worthy all by itself. Fun to watch. Al en'chain 4:47 19 3 mmx
I agree that it's very creative, and I enjoyed watching it. But as you pointed out, it's already in the Christian Bale article. And it's quite long, long enough for people to forget about what they're reading, which is I suspect one reason why you put it in the end. Unfortunately, I think putting it at the end of Batman is anti-climatic. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:32, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
Compromise: I created an external links section, and have it as "Bruce Wayne: Scapegoating Projection to 'Superman,'" Arkham Asylum (video). If someone wants to change the title, that's fine--just keep it sounding pseuo-scientific. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:29, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

edit Excuse my edits

But while some of the things that were added may be clever in and of themselves, unfortunately I think much of it derails the article. By I'M BATMAN, which was the consensus for writing this piece, we decided to walk the narrow line between "Bruce Wayne is insane but professionals are sincerely trying to help him" and "Batman is a real hero and so strong willed he's fighting for rationality through the drugs but is still imprisoned by his enemies." Some of the changes, though, are "Bruce Wayne is a looney" and "Batman is a sane hero," both of which we decided to avoid. We also decided this would be a dark article in tune with the darkness of Gotham City and especially Arkham Asylum. We're writing a dark comedy here, one that walks the narrow line between laughs and tears.

Also note that I had virtually nothing to do with charting the course for this article--the concepts came from other colonizers. I actually had a concept that was completely different from the consensus (I never posted it because I wanted input from others), but I liked what other people came up with better. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:27, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

edit Pee Review

A Pee Review I found very helpful is here. The reviewer suggests the article needs more humour early on--I agree. Some has been added, and several other improvements have been made, but The Awakening section is still very dry. Humour, anyone (remember, check I'M BATMAN above to keep with our theme). WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 01:43, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

More humour has been added. See what you think. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 03:01, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
Also I made an executive decision. The Pee Reviewer is a member of Imperial Colonization, and did not write part of the article. But I think a detailed, very helpful Pee Review is no less valuable than someone's editing of a line or two. So the reviewer gets credit on the Big Board (if the article's featured this won't count as feature credit, but counts for IC). So be it. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 03:49, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
Symbol for vote For.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  25 Mar 2010 ~ 00:16 (UTC)

edit Red links

Red links--generally, it's not considered good to have an article filled with red links. However, in several discussions I've seen, many editors think some red links are good, especially when they show articles that are needed. In fact, these show up on a list, and the more a name is red linked the higher it is on that list. Several editors check it and create new articles--there's even a new group called Upsilon Sigma Sigma dedicated specifically to writing red-linked articles. As of right now, this article has three red links to where articles really could be used--the TV show Cheers, one of the most popular in the history of American television; Frank Langella, a major actor; and Michael Keaton, another major actor. Personally, I'd prefer the links stay red instead of being redirected somewhere else--it may help inspire someone to write these articles, and the links will no longer be red. What think? WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 02:59, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Ahhh, two long notes, 2 edit conflicts. I'll shorten it--blue links good, red links bad (to the public if this goes vfh). Cheers page needed, but if we link to a good Uncy alcoholic page it would join that article into the fun. Langella and Keaton. Al de chain, 3:21 22 3 mmx
Colonizers, link as you will. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 04:02, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks Why? I added the link to 'Drunk' onto Cheers, wiki to the others, and one to the Chicago Cubs again with an explanation. The Cubs are America's losers, so funny in the US. Batman forever! Aleister in Chains 18:01 22 3 mmx (UTC)

edit Main space countdown

As of this moment, I plan to copy this article to mainspace 12 to 24 hours from now. Make any final edits, then our will will be done. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 03:02, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

We should have Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/Batman locked now that we're done with that portion of the project.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  25 Mar 2010 ~ 00:32 (UTC)
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