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Today's Featured Article - Super-delegate

MP JFK

A Super-delegate, in the American political system, is a delegate, especially to a national Presidential nominating convention, who is endowed with super-powers. Although both the Democratic Party and the Republican Party like to go through the motions of soliciting voter input on who should be the Party's Presidential candidate, actual voters are, to put it mildly, morons. Frequently, the Party must contrive to both thank them for their valued contribution and hit the figurative Revert button.

The hoi polloi tirelessly coalesce around a candidate with inspiring new ideas, be it Bernie Sanders with his untested concept of socialism, or Ron Paul with his assertions that American tourism caused the Middle East to erupt until Jews had to dynamite the World Trade Center during the September 11 attacks. When such candidates gain traction, insiders (the "party-archy") need to turn away from the hoi polloi, consult with other polloi, and pick a candidate who is more electable, electability judged by persons who cannot persuade anyone of any actual idea. (more...)

Recently featured: Super-delegate

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Did you know...

*...that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
  • ...that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
  • ...that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
  • ...that this is just a distraction while we take your car?

In the news

On this day...

June 28: Adamand Eve in Nairobi & Iceland, Obliviousness Awareness Day in Chad
  • 1493 - Unimpressed by Columbus' attempt to reach the Far East by sailing west, navigator Ernesto de Borgnine attempts to reach the Americas by sailing East. His ship crashes into the Cadiz docks thirty seconds into his journey.
  • 1572 - The day the music died.
  • 1573 - The day the music was resurrected as a zombie.
  • 1619 - Nostradamus predicts that everyone will die someday, including the music.
  • 1745 - Sharon Stone begins her first retirement at the age of 57.
  • 1851 - Franco-Pakistani War ends in a draw after a sudden death match.
  • 1914 - Driver takes a wrong turn in Sarajevo and runs over Franz Ferdinand in the process. World War One finds an excuse to start.
  • 1922 - The bloody war between Chile and France ends abruptly when both countries realize that they don't have common borders to fight over.
  • 1945 - Everyone too tired from the end of the war to do anything at all.
  • 1947 - Obliviousness Awareness Day declared in Chad.
  • 1973 - Scholars discover the first gay couple, Adam and Steve, in Israel. In other news, it's the god damn doodly best day ever because Maddox visited Chicago.
  • 1980 - Earthquake in the Chinese village of Bu-Chu-Fu, millions die.
  • 2009 - One of our greatest Billy Mays passes on to infomercial heaven. You can get Billy Mays and for a limited time only, his charisma for not one or two but three eternities!

Today's featured picture

Penisland

This is just tasteless. Absolutely juvenile!

Image Credit: User:Zana Dark
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Recent Articles

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More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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