Uncyclopedia page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Welcome to Elitopedia,

The high-brow comedy website that only Gods can edit.
31,405 chosen articles; created by the finest writers alive.

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's Featured Article - Trujillo, Peru

Paseo Bizarro

Trujillo is a large city of Peru on the coast of the Pacific Ocean. It is a half day's drive north of the capital of Lima on the Panamerican Highway — even more, if the tourist either slows down to crawl through the roundabouts at the posted 10 kph, or does not but pulls over for the ritual traffic stop and check for paperwork. If hours of flat stretches of road with ocean views on the left and Andean foothills on the right induces sleep, the commute could take eternity. Car tourists from Ecuador find ocean views on the right and Andean foothills on the left to be just as sleep-inducing.

The northern city is just south of one million residents. Reaching that landmark is a decades-old municipal goal and the subject of a current regional campaign. The key to increasing the birth rate is to seed nearby oceanfront beaches with comely white beachcombers. As well as being the capital of the region of La Libertad, Trujillo has the distinction of having the most nicknames of any Peruvian metropolis. Its best-known nickname is Peru's Second City. The only reason for this nickname is to piss off Arequipa, whose residents think they are the best at everything and grudgingly accepted "Second City" only after finding out that Lima is the national capital although Arequipa should have been.

But enough about Arequipa. Trujillo is located on the banks of the Moche River — a pretty fine river, though lacking the soap suds that make the Rimac the nation's favorite water park. Trujillo is far away from any frontier, and was designated Meritorious City and Faithful to the Fatherland in 1822 by the Peruvian Congress, never once quitting Peru and joining Chile, to which it is nowhere near, or even Ecuador, which no one wants to be in anyway. Lima, by comparison, is much closer to Chile, and gets even closer whenever there is a war, often sneaking across the border until reinforcements arrive. (more...)

Recently featured: Trujillo, Peru

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Did you know...

*...that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ...that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?

In the news

On this day...

Blackymuscles

June 1: International Steroids Appreciation Day

  • 72 BC – Moses takes steroids; parts the Red Sea.
  • 1869Thomas Edison receives a patent for his electric voting machine and makes millions selling the machines to Florida Republicans.
  • 1960New Zealand's first official television broadcast commences at 7:30 PM from Auckland. Ratings are low due to Kiwis not understanding how pictures and sounds can come from a box.
  • 1964Barry Bonds is born.
  • 1992 – Bud Selig brand steroids hit the shelves.
  • 1998Chuck Norris announces to press: "I never took steroids"
  • 1999 – Steroids announces to press: "I took Chuck Norris."
  • 2010 – One out of every three baseball players is suspected of abusing steroids. The other two-thirds claim to use steroids responsibly.

Today's featured picture

Grue crossing

The Grue Crossing signs have proven to be an effective way to prepare drivers for an encounter.

Image Credit: Kaizer the Bjorn
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

Wa tis das.jpg

BMW | Ares | Audi | Lana Del Rey | Bird (rw) (pictured) | Edexcel | Manchester NH | Jean-Jacques Rousseau | Megyn Kelly | Whales | Springtime writing contest: Lemonade | Boaty McBoatface | Clash of the Titans | Cesar Millan | Prince | White Knight | Ironman Triathlon | Travesty | Theseus | Richard Simmons | Trujillo, Peru | Throwball | WONE radio | Iquitos, Peru (from Inciclopedia) | Helmsley | Keighley | Skipton | Calais | Super-delegate | Winners of the 2016 Uncyclopedia Super Bowl: Shredded wheat | Malcolm Turnbull | Secret | Kodak


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text) UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Logo Text Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes2 UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
Unbooks-logo notext UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable-logo-en vector notext Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity-logo-notext Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetialogo UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext UnCommons
Broken media repository


Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,405 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
W17x11 30557
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
45286
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
18180
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
W17x11 16666
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
W17x11 13518
Wiki it
1dÉ
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
W17x11 8364
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
W17x11 10392
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
5720
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
W17x11 Unknown
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7614
Hikipedia
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on September 3, 2014.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.

Personal tools
projects