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Today's Featured Article - Arthur C. Clarke

Hal9k

Arthur Charles Clarke (16 December 1917 – 19 March 2008) is a world-famous fortune teller who lived much of his life far away from everything (that is, in Sri Lanka) so he could write outlandish science fiction novels. Born in Minehead, England, he grew up daydreaming and doing nothing, which naturally led him to a high-ranking position in the Royal Air Force. After singlehandedly winning World War II using radars and articles about satellites, he embarked on a writing career. Despite getting help from Stanley Kubrick, Isaac Asimov, and various weird aliens, his literary wit was limited to "Woohoo! Spaceships! Aliens! Spaceships and aliens! In space!!" He became famous in latter life as the author of three versions of essentially the same book, and as a guy who looked dreamy-eyed into a camera whilst talking about unexplained phenomena.

Clarke made a large number of claims, which some have linked to his rampant self-absorption. In 1942, he successfully claimed to have invented the typewriter and underwear, whilst less than a year later he claimed water was based on one of his earlier ideas. Among his future predictions was a colony on the moon, a space elevator, a utopian society on Earth and widespread space travel. Have those things happened yet? Well, I'm sure the eggheads are working on it... While we're waiting, we can read some nice science fiction about it.

Clarke is the author of numerous science fiction novels, such as Childhood's Beginning, Fountains of Wank, and his groundbreaking novel Rendezvous Without Rama. Because of a massive writer's block, many of his writings were short stories - his best known short story is If I Forget Thee, Oh Earth, about a rather serious case of amnesia. (more...)

Recently featured: Arthur C. Clarke

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Did you know...

*...that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
  • ...that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?

In the news

On this day...

February 20:Twenty / Twenny / 7uun3d dispute day.
  • 11-twenty: Twenty is the commonly accepted spelling of the word pronounced 20.
  • 12-twenny: Twenny is da commonly Xepted spellin of 20.
  • 13-7uun3d: U h4u3 733n 7uun3d!
  • 14-20: People decide to spell twenty twenny 7uun3d 20 as '20'.
  • 15-twenty - 16-twenny - 17-7wn3d: Disputes abowt 20 have been pwn3d by God.
  • 20-20: hindsight is twenny 7uun3d
  • 7uun3d-f1r57 (3n7ury: 1337 15 7h3 n4710n41 14n9u493 0f 34r7h, 50 '7uun3d' 15 7h3 (0rr3(7 593111n9 0f '20'.
  • 2003: In the honour of twenty, the Twenty20 cricket form has been introduced.

Today's featured picture

SistineGraffiti

A great disturbance was recorded in the historical community today when what appeared to be a preliminary version of the Michelangelan Fresco that decorates the Sistine Chapel was found spraypainted on a remote alleyway in Rome. Notable historians whatsisname and thatguy said it was due to Michelangelo's intense desire to be accepted into the Renaissance art movement, which they say "required a fair amount of street cred."

Image Credit: Zombiebaron
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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