Uncyclopedia Research Division
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
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Uncyclopedia's Research and Development Wing is the worlds' largest and most secretive internet-based research and development division. Known to friends as the "U.R.D." (the "w" is silent), it has a plethora of sub-divisions that range from the pharmaceutical division to the search for extraterrestrial markets board. U.R.D.'s headquarters is located in the Northern Hemisphere, further details of which (including of what planet) could compromise the safety of U.R.D. employees.
U.R.D. was created 1920 at the behest of Uncyclopedia founder Oscar Wilde. U.R.D.'s History division now believes that U.R.D. has had between 5 and 20 presidents, but estimates run as high as 40 and as low as 0. It is widely excepted that U.R.D.'s first president was Oscar Wilde's good friend and terrible lover Lord Alfred Douglas. It's also been suggested that the rest of the presidents have also been white males, although this is improbable in the context of a society dominated by Hispanic women. Further research suggests that Lord Douglas's first move as U.R.D. president was that of his bowel. After this little is known about U.R.D. even by its own History Division which has several times established exploratory commissions. The commision's original goals were to make contact with the current leader of U.R.D., it is not known if any of the commissions succeeded or even if they're still functioning as invariably they disappear into a chasm of red tape, and user edited content within 24 hours of their establishment.
Despite being shrouded in so far impenetrable secrecy and lies generated about laser goats, U.R.D. has had several notable successes. They are partially chronicled in the children's picture book Cars and Trucks and Things that Go," some of the most easily recognizable are the Bananamobile located on page 12, the 1934 creation of an actual Goldbug which is commemorated on virtually every single page, and most famously the invention of Golf as seen on page 23 and 24. A more complete history of the organization was commissioned for release on U.R.D.'s 20th anniversary; very little is known about the "complete history", despite the fact that it is 69 years over due, and almost half of U.R.D.'s employees are officially listed as working on the history. Some theorize that the "complete History" history accounts for the annual disappearance of almost a billion dollars from U.R.D.'s budget, but this theory has begun to lose support as more and more of its proponents are found shot execution style in their homes. Little else is known about U.R.D.
In 1987, U.R.D.'s Consumer Research Division (subsequently changed to the Division of Elephant Gynaecology) produced a ground breaking if concise study on who exactly generates Uncyclopedia content. Up until that point theories ranged from the simply stated "God" to the considerably more complex "Gods" theory. In the end, however, the study showed that Uncyclopedia's content was more often than not being generated by humans. Even more startling startling was the fact that the Study did this with out an Introduction, thesis, or any proof of validity besides a single pie chart entitled "Break Down of Uncyclopedians by Percentile".