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Saturday, July 30, 2016, 13:13:59 (UTC)

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UnNews Logo Potato1BREXIT
ROME, Italy -- Britain is under serious threat of becoming a balsamic state, after Italian prime minister Matteo Renzi vowed to “build a new dietary partnership” after Brexit.

This followed intimate talks with Prime Minister Theresa May about sausages and anginas. Full story»

PLYMOUTH, England -- The Royal Navy’s newest warships keep breaking down in the Persian Gulf, because they were not designed for operating while in “hot water.”

The House of Commons was informed that the Royal Navy would not be able to go to sea “much of the time in any place, and on very few days of the year.” Full story»

TAMPA, Florida -- Hillary Clinton has named WWE star “Kane” to be her running mate.

Kane is a theatrical battleground-state politician with working-class roots and a vise-like headlock — traits that she believes will put Donald Trump out for the count in November. Full story»

Stephanie Rawlings-Blake
UnNews Logo Potato1LEFT WING
PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania -- The Democratic Party nominating convention got under way here without any of the controversy swirling around the Republican Party event.

Whereas the GOP had to deal with a politician's wife cribbing lines that rightly belonged to the politician's wife who stole them first, the Democrats survived the first day with only the surprise resignation of the party's national chairwoman. Full story»

Trump supervillains
UnNews Logo Potato1RIGHT WING
CLEVELAND, Ohio -- The 2016 Republican Nominating Convention confirmed Donald Trump as the candidate for U.S. President, turning back a move by the law-and-order party to break state election laws and nominate anyone else.

To harmonize with Trump's theme in the primary, "Make America Great Again," while trying to make it mean something definite, each day of the convention had its own stirring copycat theme, and even before Melania Trump gave a copycat speech. Full story»

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About UnNews
Created by the Uncyclomedia Foundation

UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

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Today...only, last year

TV Highlights July 30

Jesus Slaps the Shit Outta _____. Fantasy
EWTN 6:00 PM EDT/5:00 CDT
This week's guests: American Catholic Bishops.

Spanish Inquisition Game
HIST 6:00 PM EDT/5:00 CDT
Betcha weren't expecting this.

Test Patterns Art history
CBS 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
In an effort to boost ratings, the network replaces one of its several crime dramas with an hour long slide show of test cards used throughout TV history.

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