From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Not funny at all.”
Uncyclopedia Lite was until recently a very distant relative of Uncyclopedia. It was originally written by a very distant relative of Oscar Wilde who was also a health-food nut. He said that "Uncyclopedia is hilarious, but just look at the Main Page. You can tell it has at least 20 grams of trans fat. I might even have to get quadruple bypass surgery, now that I've been reading this shit. My coronary arteries are all clogged up with Euroipods by now." In a seizure one night, this very distant relative of Oscar Wilde (whose name is currently unknown... would have saved us a lot of time) created Uncyclopedia Lite. Not funny, but better for you.
One of the first decisions on Uncyclopedia Lite was to ban Sophia, and in fact all things potato-ish, from its site. Explained one of the first Lite Admins (TM), "We're sorry, but we cannot allow the potato to exist on our utterly awesome site. Recent testing has proven potatoes to be a source of empty carbs with no nutritional value whatsoever. Even the mentally retarded kitten huffers with no life at the old unhealthy wikis should know that." Apparently not.
Uncyclopedia Lite's criminal masterminds announced that Sophia is to be replaced by a piece of broccoli. They also claimed that people will eat broccoli and enjoy it or else!!!
edit Stupid motto on the web page
Every Uncyclopedia Lite article reads at the top, after its actual title:
The fat-free encyclopedia
Some people have complained that in fact Uncyclopedia Lite contains trace amounts of fat and even worse, cholesterol. In fact, despite going on a diet the Main Page still contained 625 calories.
Being lite, Uncyclopedia Lite had only one of the so-called pliers. It was so lite it could be summarized in this handy box:
Be Lite and not just funny. Or stupid.
edit Tragic Death
Only 7 1/2 weeks after being founded, Uncyclopedia Lite died. A passerby reading a page, which may have now been huffed, reportedly told Uncyclopedia Lite that it was overweight. Uncyclopedia Lite immediately became very depressed about this and joined Weight Watchers.
Suddenly, about a week after that it became anorexic. Uncyclopedia Lite was found dead from starvation by the admins, who immediately wondered how a website can be anorexic.
edit ...But not really that tragic
The admins all committed suicide out of confusion. After Uncyclopedia Lite passed away, there might have been a great deal of rejoicing and other stuff, but nobody really could figure out what happened.
Oh well... It lived a full life, didn't it?