Uncyclopedia Defense Force
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The Uncyclopedia Defense Force was the collective term for the 4 branches of the Uncyclopedian Military that fought during The Great Aspie War of Ought Six and the Invasion of Uncyclopedia: The Air Force, Navy, Army and Special Forces.
The UDF was almost completely destroyed during the Invasion, with 439,725 out of 550,000 soldiers listed as casualties even though they outnumbered their enemy by over 5 to 1. However, the destruction of the UDF led to the formation of the Uncyclopedian Resistance, who would fight a long-and successful-war against Wikipedian occupation.
edit Formation and the Great Aspie War
The UDF was initially formed by Oscar Wilde as the Un Imperial Force to defend Uncyclopedia from the invasion of the evil Dr. Slashy von Assburger but after a lengthy debate the title was changed because it sounded too Wikipedian. The mission statement of the UDF was to 'protect our sacred article from the vile groping hands of our enemies'. Training to become a UDF soldier was vigorous and frustrating, and the few soldiers that made it into the UDF were ensured to be the best of the best. The UDF fought a series of bloody battles against the Armies of Aspergerus, defeating them in a hard-fought campaign and sending Dr. von Assburger into a humiliating exile. Afterwards, the UDF fought a series of limited wars against ytmnd, eBaum's World, Encyclopedia Dramatica and various other horribly stupid and false sites on the interwebz. It began to gain a reputation as a formidable and effective fighting force, being a great example of the perfect coordination of infantry, fighter jets, starships and grues. A mere 3 months after the UDF was formed, however, disaster struck.
edit Wikipedia Invades
On Sept 11th, 2001, Jimbo Wales held a rally in his mom's basement (where he still lives) and declared war on Uncyclopedia, calling it communist (therefore conflicting with Jimbo's fascist/Nazi values and code of ethics). A force of 100,000 Wikipedian Sturmtruppen, 1000 aircraft and a huge starfleet the UDF prepared for a vicious battle. With 550,000 Uncyclopedians against 100,000 Wikipedian troops, however, on the ground victory seemed assured for the UDF. But the bastardly Wikipedians had excellent training and equipment (plus Jimbo had mastered the art of propaganda, convincing his soldiers and civilians alike that Wikipedia was the #1 reliable source for everything from what food to eat to sex tips)and managed to create the now infamous This page does not exist article. Eager to see a long dead in-joke resurrected, the UDF abandoned their positions and swarmed the article. The Wikipedians then sent an agent, under the name of Minamoto Yoritomo, to alert the admins of Uncyclopedia that the page had been created. The admins unthinkingly huffed the page, and the Wikipedians had trapped the UDF. For 3 days and 3 nights the UDF tried to break out, but they were surrounded and running low on ammo and supplies. The Wikipedian Star Fleet bombarded them relentlessly, and on the 4th day, the Wikipedians attacked the remaining Uncyclopedians. After 5 hours of fierce combat, the UDF soldiers committed seppuku, unwilling to die without honour. Or at least 2 did. The rest surrendered.
edit The Occupation of Uncyclopedia
The other branches of the UDF fared no better. The Un Navy was no match for the superior numbers of Wikipedia Star Command, but rather than throw themselves into a hopeless situation they destroyed their ships in orbit, giving the illusion they had been completely destroyed, although they managed to save the crews of the ships by loading them into the escape pods. The catastrophic failure of the UDF to defend Uncyclopedia would lead to the formation of the Uncyclopedian Resistance, which would eventually drive the Wikipedians out of Uncyclopedia forever.