Uncyclopedia Defense Squadron

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For too long now has Wikipedia claimed to be the definitive source of information on everything worth knowing. For too long has it been compiled by our soulless cousins who think they know everything, and if you disagree, they will revert your edits and pwn you by reporting you to his mighty Jimboness. Well we here at Uncyclopedia say, enough is enough! Our boring cousins over on Wikipedia claim they are experts on the world, yet they are too busy worshipping The Cult of Jimbo to realise that we, the Uncyclopedians, are the only hope for mankind! So join up today, and help bring Wikipedia to it's knees. And not in the way that Jimbo makes his users go down on their knees so that they can become admins.


You are our only hope...

edit Why do we need to destroy Wikipedia?

Our secret spies on Wikipedia, who bravely sacrificed themselves in order to infiltrate the ranks of important Wikipedians, have uncovered a diabolical plan. Jimbo plans to use Wikipedia to take over the world! He has created a five step plan to do this:

  • Refuse to listen to their views, as they are 'fringe'. This will allow him to spread his own evil atheistic agenda!
  • Forcing Wikipedia policies on them so hard, they won't talk to people unless they can establish their notability through several reliable sources
  • Controlling their minds via transmissions sent through Wikipedia and picked up by everyone who uses it!
  • He will then use his Wiki-Army to establish an evil Communism empire.
  • Then, he will make all the men wear dresses, to make them 'prettyful'. Shudder.

When this has all been accomplished, he will have a planet of mindless zombie slaves, who will have to make a minimum of 500 edits a day to Wikipedia.

edit How can you help?

If you've made it this far then great! If not, you've either decided that this is a load of bollocks and you can't be fucked to read through this crap, or you've got so excited at the prospect of a Jimbo gay sex world, that you've gone on to his page on Wikipedia and rubbed one out over his picture. The first step to helping is to sign up, by putting your signature on the talk page of this article. 'But I don't have an account!' I hear you say. Well sign up you lazy no good son of a bitch. When you've done this, then create a account on Wikipedia (its not something many of us like to do, it's akin to having your scrotum chewed by wild dogs, but its got to be done). Then, start blanking every page you can find and replacing it with 'Uncyclopedia Rules! I won't serve you Jimbo!'

So get going you lazy bastards, and happy hunting!

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