Uncyclopedia Defence Force
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit Uncyclopedia thanks the members of the UDF
Since it's creation, the Uncyclopedia Defence Force (UDF) was completely badass (and still is) and has trashed Uncyclopedia parody websites such as wikipedia, which is a blatant knock-off of Uncyclopedia, letting everyone know that Uncyclopedia is the top dog on the internet, and the original online encyclopedia. Using powerful weapons such as doctored photos, spamming, and anonymous complaints to the police, the UDF has destroyed never heard of sites and sites on the brink of extinction that take away our site's power. The UDF has worked on over thirty four operations flaming other parody website and protecting Uncyclopedia's right to exist. Soon, Encyclopedia Dramatica will be annihilated and will become a shrinking memory. The UDF will only end when every site with a copied wikipedia template is destroyed... except us.
- Wooo!Pedia (fails to have articles on even the most basic objects, cow for example)
- Uncyclopedia (almost split into two seprate pedias, the conspirators were wiped out)
- Funnypedia (1980's hit, were abandoned with the porn spam attack of 89')
- Wikipedia (tried to set up a section for humor, destroyed by trolls)
- Jokepedia (Hiding by changing template, currently under surveillance)
- [[Malaysian Internal Security Ministry]] (We infiltrated and took them over.)
- Encyclopedia Dramatica (The website is destroying itself with poorly made articles and stupid shock humor)
Though, they needed a little help with getting some illigal porn
- Wikipedia (They are capable of anything right now, volunteer to become a wikipedia troll. Wipe them out!)
edit In the begining (part 1)
A while ago, Uncyclopedia was a shit hole. Rouge (or Rogue - same difference) trolls, and spammers were destroying uncyclopedia. At one point people were logging off by the droves. The average article contained several words, most including 'suck my D#@$". What was before our modern administration intelligence agency, was a small group of moderators. They were overwhelmed. The battle was intense. Noob users were eaten alive in seconds or squashed. Spammers trashed great articles like Mcdonalds. Then, a brave moderator cast a spell which removed him from Uncyclopedia. He was temporarily a god in the internet. With an amazing sense of peace, the moderator was able to create anything he desired. These spammers and trolls needed a new site to roam free and slowly eat themselves. He founded a site with a seemingly smart tile. The site would a wiki where everyone could join. He created a site with a non-existing staff that does not give a crap about what people wright. They could even post personal information. He created Encyclopedia Dramatica (ED). After creating the new entity, he created a bridge between uncyclopedia and ED. The bridge would last only thirty seconds. A powerful vacuum effect was created. Trolls and spammers were sucked from Uncyclopedia through the bridge. They piled up into ED. Before the moderator was sucked back into uncyclopedia, he created ED's craptastic motto, "In Lulz we trust". Uncyclopedia was saved then.
edit Woops! (part 2)
All the trolls and spammers were gone yet the crappy articles remained. Horrible writers also remained in uncyclopedia. Moderators fought continuously. They also helped rebuild uncyclopedia. Soon, refugees from sites being attacked by trolls arrived in uncyclopedia and started to create accounts. Also, people who abandoned uncyclopedia returned. A small golden age was created. Yet, when unclopedia finally recovered, a new threat risen. The web 2.0 was sucking the life out of uncyclopedia. New parody websites were drawing attention from uncyclopedia. Moderators were worried. Even encyclopedia dramatica was gathering new attention. In fact, it was gathering the most attention. The trolls have made a name for themselves and made ED the most infamous parody site of wikipedia. Moderators created a program attracting trolls into uncyclopedia. They also started to study spammers. ED was cleaning it's act up. The articles were better written. Uncyclopedia was ready to end that. They were going to create the first Uncyclopedia army.
edit Uncyclopedia Defence Force (part 3)
Uncyclopedians began to volunteer. They would fight to protect uncyclopedia. One of their first recorded battles was Wooo!Pedia. The small site was starting to make a name for itself. The early UDF entered the vally of Wooo!Pedia lightly armed. Wooo!pedia was guarded by several loyal fans. They snook into the town and trolled the hell out the people. Spammers clogged up the disscusion pages and scared away anyone who gave their e-mail out. The community was quickly burnt to the ground. The loyalists engaged in battle. After about thirty minutes, they ran away and hid in a bush. Wooo!Pedia was defeated. With more experiance, they destroyed a few other websites. Encyclopedia Dramatica, now at it's highpoint, got a big suprise when every disscusion page was spammed with HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Currently, ED clings to surival.
edit Current Progress
Encyclopedia Dramatica is like a cornered animal. It is making it's last grasps for survival. The UDF has established several beachheads and are quickly advancing at least three articles a day to it's goal, the main page. The main page is a total knock-off of Uncyclopedia's main page. Their stupidity and evils are comming into the public eye. Their army and defences are falling apart. Their administrators are leaving ED in hopes of finding another website. We will soon find who commands ED and who really runs the joint. They will die!
edit Army Ranks
- Spammer Newly plucked from the conscription office, spammers are immediatly sent to various website just saying the same thing over and over again. They are told to say vulger things over and over again. They are the pesks of society not giving up over and over again. After several days of intense spamming, they are qualified to train to be an Insult Technician. Skills include using the caps lock.
- Insult Technician One of the most basicly trained units in the UDF, the insult technician creates a ton of accounts after being banned many times slowly clogging servers. Though, they mostly just insult users. Concentrating on one person at a a time, a Insult Technician may learn how to annoy someone but no-where near making them cry. Insult Technicians have the least effect and practice on Youtube. Skills include saying the right insult at the right time. After making people snap back, they are promoted.
- Arguing Jack-ass Never wrong and always right, these people have endurance to fight outnumbered and with little to fight for. Easily disturbed, these people are often defined as vicious. Though, after fighting for a certain period, the jack-ass must retreat and re-charge for another day. The arguing jackass though, must push himself to form more endurance. They also must form better arguements using fake evidence. If they are smart enough to create groups of angry people babbling on about how your wrong, you are promoted.
- Troll Very diligent, the troll never avoids a hot topic when he sees it. The troll has the qualities of stealth. Trolls create arguments but unlike a Jack-ass, he is not in the argument. He watches other people fighting in the argument while he watches in the corner. He adds fuel to the fire if he needs it but he lets other people do his work for him most of the time. Be careful when you think someone is wrong and you want to call him out, it may be a troll trap. Trolls are respected memebers of the UDF and are allowed to earn stars and commedations for promotion. Most UDF trolls are fighting in enclycopedia dramatica.
- Troll Cordinator Experianced in trolling, the cordinator finds fellow UDF trolls and unites them to create epic arguments in forums. Troll cordinators are the first to develop management skills. They are battlefeild commanders and help make a huge difference for trolling online. It is hard to understand how to be promoted then. A troll cordinator must try to find spammers or insult technicians. If he can somehow unite them to attack a group of people, he may be promoted.
- Overseer Feared by every forum and website, the overseer is the leader of a UDF army. If enough UDF trolls fight in one forum at a time, an overseer may arrive to contact cordinators. Overseers have the best experiance and may find creative ways to ruin everyone's day. Overseers must know where to find the juciest gossip, the best fake evidence, the hottest topic. When an overseer is tired of commanding, he may choose another path.
- Hacker An exception from the regular UDF ranks, the hacker educates itself and learns from himself, not others. Hackers are very dangerous for the UDF even if they are on our side. The hacker is more powerful than the overseer but they have a low chance of striking the critical blow. A hacker must hide in a website for a while, slowly learning how it works but in a mechanical way, not a social way. When a hacker learns how to break though a websites security, It must strike quickly. If the website finds out too quickly, the hack will be little noticed and fixed quickly.