From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“The content-free source of internet terrorism!”
“Number One Source of Virtual Prostitutes!”
“In Uncyclopedia, Russian reversals are fed up with YOU!!”
Uncyclopedia: The Content-Free UnRepublic
|Motto: "Please be funny and not just stupid."|
|Anthem: "Uncyclopedia" (same tune as God Save the Queen/My Country 'Tis of Thee)|
|Measure your computer screen.|
|Largest city||Undeterminable due to the overly emphasized Internet safety policy.|
|Official language(s)||Unglish, Latin, 1337|
|April 31st, 1066 |
from the Wikiland Empire
|Religion||Unglican 94%, Other Protestant/Anglican 2%, Muslim 2%, Roman Catholic 1%, Judaism 1%|
|Major exports||Unformation, Oscar Wildeizms, DYKs|
Uncyclopedia: The Content-Free UnRepublic is an independent nation not recognized by most almanacs, atlases and social-studies textbooks. That is because it is such a great country that nobody can describe its superiority. It is also because there is a rumor that the Uncyclopedian government is bent on world domination. This is not necessarily an actual conspiracy, but it has potential. Uncyc's inexorable claim of superiority to Wikipedia is not only true, but also proved in that the glorious nation disbanded the overly geeky Wikipedian government and overthrew its capital, Wikiwiki, in the great Content-Free Revolt of 2009.
Uncyclopedia was first founded by Oscar Wilde in 1865 BC, but it was part of the Wikiland Empire until 1066, when Soviet Russia helped the Uncyc become independent. There was a short war for only a couple of months until the emperor, Steve Jobs, surrendered to the unbeatable Soviets and declared Uncyclopedia independent on April 31st.
Uncyclopedia became its own kingdom, but the Dark Age of evil rulers lasted until 1467, when Stephen Colbert overthrew the corrupt king and claimed the throne. People lived peacefully under Stephen I, but some who felt the king was too selfish campaigned for democracy. They got their wish in 1516, when Jesus was elected the first president of the newly declared Democratic UnRepublic of Uncyclopedia. However, Jesus was impeached when the citizens discovered he didn't follow the beliefs of the Church of Uncyclopedia and insisted Sophia was a false prophet whose worshipers should go to hell. After the impeachment, some evil nerd from the Wikiland Empire assassinated Jesus by nailing him to an unidentified geometric shaped piece of wood.
Uncyclopedia has had many presidents, good and bad, for the past 500 years. The current leader is Oscar Wilde, who is actually the same man who founded the country in 1865 BC. There were many wars against Wikipedia, which became a communist nation in 1602. In 2009, however, Uncyclopedia had the greatest success in wiki history. That was the year of the Great Content-Free Revolt, a political movement intended to overthrow the Wikipedian government once and for all. In October of 2009, victory was declared, and Wikipedia was destroyed. This is sometimes referred to as the triumph of fun over boring, or the triumph of hilarious over serious, which may actually tie into the All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy theory.
The mainland of Uncyclopedia lies chiefly in cyberspace, but little parts of the country are dotted around the globe. Uncyclopedia may claim some land in your very computer, in fact it should at the moment since you are looking at it right now.Uncyclopedia's physical features include rivers, mountains and forests, but they cannot be identified on the computer screen with the naked eye. However, if you use an antigravity cat-toast device to power your monitor, some rather virtual-looking physical features may be visible.
Often, the capital of Uncyclopedia can be found on the main page, but the city enjoys roaming around the Uncyc spying on new articles. This is because the admins over at the UnCongress insist on doing so. Other major cities include Unville, Wikidiotstown, and Featured Grove.
Uncyclopedia has a very UNique culture.
Many kinds of clothing are worn in Uncyclopedia, from jeans and T-shirts to robes and turbans, from miniskirts and tuxedos to bathing suits and space suits. The government members, including the admins at Congress, may actually dress up at times.
Many holidays are celebrated in Uncyclopedia, including Undependence Day on April 31st, UnChristmas on December 2.57th, and the Festival of Content-Freedom (celebrating the destruction of Wikipedia), celebrated during the third week of October.
94% of Uncyclopedians are Unglican, the main religion of the country. There are several Unglican churches, 1 Protestant church, 1 Roman Catholic church, and 1 mosque. Sorry, Jews, we forgot to build a synagogue. Guess you'll have to convert.
Uncyclopedians waste most of their time on the computer editing articles and the like, when they could be playing a satisfying game of Who's Content-Free Now? or Pass the Potatoes. Uncyclopedia's national sport is kitten huffing, and the nation holds exciting tournaments of the pastime. Uncyclopedians enjoy watching TV, especially The Twilight Zone, Mad TV and Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader? (For the record, 96.2% of Uncyclopedians are smarter than a fifth grader; they enjoy the show because of its captivating stupidity that makes the viewers feel sorry for the deprived contestants who have never heard of the salvation of Uncyclopedia.)
edit Economy and EducationUncyc's thriving economy relies mostly on its citizens' effort to educate innocent people with false, misleading articles and other content-free content. The main export is Unformation, which is just that. There are no significantly poor people in Uncyclopedia. Many citizens have their own businesses or work for a privately owned corporation. The government basks in the pleasure of the successful economy and does not help it at all, in that the only government-run businesses refuse to operate unless the Armenian prime minister sends them five thousand pounds of rotten shish kebabs, for reasons unbeknownst to anyone.
Children get a very sufficient uneducation in Uncyclopedia, learning the basics of unhistory, al-Jebra, physics, reading, and creative writing. The University of Uncyclopedia, or UU, is the largest university in the nation, and there are many more colleges in Uncyc that offer many content-free courses that will help students become successful Uncyclopedians, spreading Unformation like Jehovah's Witnesses spread the Word of God.
The president of the Democratic UnRepublic of Uncyclopedia, Oscar Wilde, is a master of diplomacy and a political genius (everything's possible in Uncyc, even something called a political genius). He is world-renowned for extreme justice and friendship with other leaders of the world. The Congress of Uncyclopedia is comprised of people called "admins". They are responsible for making sure the domain does not get too much crap infused into the media and that the people of Uncyclopedia are protected from the BS preached by the so-called experts of whatever may be left of Wikipedia.
Due to the president's unwavering diplomacy, the nation is not currently involved in any international conflicts, though many Uncyclopedians have opinions about certain issues and continue to advertise their concerns.