Uncyclopedia:Wilde/C

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Wilde
He's a Wilde Thang!
Welcome to the Wilde Side
of Uncyclopedia
Check out the Wilde Image Series!
Here you will find a repository of quotes
from the Late, Great
Oscar Wilde!
Choose your poison below:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
0 — 9    # ∩ ~ ...



CABA

“CABA is wonderfull piece of software, I can access my toasts without mounting it.”
~ Oscar Wilde on CABA

Cacodemon

“Cacodemons are really ugly. I really wish they would take pride in their appearance.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cacodemons

Canada

“The tragedy of Canada is that it could have had British culture, French cuisine and American technology. Instead it got American culture, British cuisine and French technology.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Canada

Canada (Nation)

“Not quite as many beavers as expected.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Canada

Canonization

“Thank god for posthumous canonization! Anyone canonized alive would instantly become the most insufferable arsehole.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Canonization

Captain Picard

“Xander is so gay.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Captain Picard's slash fiction

Car

“Nothing really beats walking on three wheels.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Car

Carbon

“If you are ugly it's because God ran out of all the small red carbon, and was forced to use poor quality blue carbon instead. In which case it "sucks to be you”
~ Oscar Wilde on Carbon

Carman

“How did that bastard pull a rabbit out of his hat?!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Carman

Carter

“I always thought that If I'd met Jimmy Carter, I'd call him Peanut Butter. Because, well, Peanut Butter is a funny name...but I don't think you're ready for this jelly.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Jimmy Carter

Cats

“Ah, cats. They are nature's way of saying, Here, Put this in your pipe and smoke it!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cats

Censorship

“██████████████████████████████████████”
~ Oscar Wilde on Censorship

Charles Nelson Reilly

“Charles Nelson Reilly... never heard of him. Poor bugger.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Charles Nelson Reilly

Cheese

“Mmmm, cheese!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cheese

Cheez

“It's the cheesiest, my ass!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cheez

Chewbacca defense

“I was going to buy an iPod, but I hated the idea of becoming a silhouette.”
~ Oscar Wilde on The "Chewbacca defense and You" DVD

Chicken

“Chicken crossing the road, you say? A clear-cut example of poultry in motion.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Chicken propulsion

Child

“Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Children

Christianism

“I have been scarred for life by accursed Christianism. May all the devils torment thee, that hath taken away mine own minor pancreas!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Christianism

Christianity

“A most amiable fellow was Jesus, or J-Dawg as he preferred it. Beautiful teachings. Pity he never got around to explaining why God would rather we didn't fellate ourselves.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Christianity

Churchill

“I dread the day when a man with a terribly weak mind rules one of the world's strongest nations.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Winston Churchill

Cillit Bang

“The best bang since the big one!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cillit Bang

Civilization III

“"The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of the third civilization."”
~ Oscar Wilde on Civilization III

Clap

“The worst clap I ever had was in Brighton.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Clap

Clap2

“It's free!!! Like the clap!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Content-free

Clapton

“Eric Clapton is, technically speaking, the best guitar player 'After Midnight'.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Eric Clapton

Clowns

“The clowns want to take over and become the dominant species! They will destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all!...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Clowns

Coffee1

“Hit me with the triple strength decaf, Shaky, my old mate.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Coffee

Coffee2

“I like mine hot, black and gritty - and I'll have a coffee too please.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Coffee

Color

“My favorite color? I like salmon. It's also my favorite fish, though I'm quite fond of tuna. Have you ever tried halibut? It's divine with mustard sauce.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Color

Content-free

“There is a dynamic proportionality betwixt that which thee exchange coinages for, and that which thee receive in return. I learned this from my dearest mummy, who oft said, "Ya gets whats ya pays for".”
~ Oscar Wilde on Content-free

Cornfield

“I shall never see a field of vegetables as yellow as corn”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cornfield

Coruscant

“This movie sucks! They just showed twenty minutes of footage of the Galactic Senate! And do these characters show no emotion at all?! It's almost as if - Ooh! Wow! It's Coruscant! Shiny objects!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Coruscant

Cows

“In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cows

Cowing

“Give a man a cow, and he will eat for, oh about a weekish. Teach a man to cow, and he will have no idea what the hell you are talking about.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cowing

Cream cheese

“Woe to the cheesemaker, if his cheese be creamed.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cream cheese

Cthulhu v. Japan

“The masterpiece of Judicial thinking.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cthulhu v. Japan

Cummings

“This is just too easy..”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cummings

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