Uncyclopedia:VFH/Will Harridge

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“Improv? Im great at improv. For instance I have found myself without sex toys on several occasions. Anything can work for stimulation as long as its firm enough. A pickle, a mayonnaise jar, even a bratwurst if you have one handy. A freshly peeled Spanish onion slides in with ease and gives a pleasant tingle on insertion. At one point last year the entire contents of my refrigerator had been inside my anus”
~ PuppyOnTheRadio on improvisation
“Did you know its possible to rupture ones own rectum with a 34-ounce ash baseball bat? Well, after last year, I certainly do.”
~ PuppyOnTheRadio on making healthy choices
“I HATE NIGGER DYKE PUSSY!”
~ SPIKE, when asked how many pennies are in a pound
“The other day I found a sperm flavoured lollipop at my favourite sex shop. Most sperm flavoured products use artificial flavouring and have a nasty "fake" taste. This one was imported from Italy so it used the real thing. It was far too expensive but I had been a good girl that week so I thought Id treat myself. Right outside the shop I lost my grip on the slippery thing and it went through a strom grate. A policeman was nearby and I offered to suck his cock right there if he would help me get it out of the storm sewer but he just laughed at me. I had to wait until night fall and then crawl into the sewer. I was bitten by a rabid raccoon down there but I found my lollipop so it all evened out in the end”
~ Mhaille on perseverance
“When I was a child I had no idea I would grow to be the gayest man in the world. My mother helped me to see the light. She would chain me to the radiator and beat me with implements. Wooden spoons, hairbrushes, shoe trees. Sometimes she used her own pendulous, shriveled teats. All the while she would force me to watch bootlegged videos of rich homosexuals having orgies. When I turned 13, I began to widen my anus with a series of graduated measures. Eventually I got it so big that I could insert an unlubricated hockey puck sideways without tearing. At that point, I knew that I was ready for the Gay Circus”
~ Mhaille on finding ones path
“Please to give me more ballsacks for my mouth! I enjoy to suck them hard, especially after coating them with a smooth syrup of crushed strawberries and clotted cream!”
~ SPIKE on ballsacks

Will Harridge (history, logs)

Article: Will Harridge

Score: 5 autograph collectors toasting a man and his secretary

Nominated by: Aleister
For: 5
  1. Symbol for vote SelfnomFor You know what, I'm gonna nom this. It's basically a true story told to me by either me, my father, my uncle, a former neighbor, or by someone else. And it's one I tried to get some national American sports reporters interested in, and a major one wanted to write about it but got turned down by his editor (and he wasn't happy). Getting this featured may kick-start the story - an interesting part of real baseball history - and will surely put the page high on the search engine list for 'Will Harridge' (EDIT: It's number six on google. More, more!). Thanks for a read. Aleister 21:50 26-2-'13
  2. For. Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 13:52, Feb 27
  3. For. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:00, April 6, 2013 (UTC)
  4. Symbol for vote For. It's great. Reminds me of the song "I am the Monarch of the Sea" by Gilbert and Sullivan British comedy opera writers in which the Lord High Admiral of the Royal Navy sings about how he's never been on a ship or been sea before and got the job by working hard as a bank clerk in London. Same story for Will Harridge it seems. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 07:14, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
  5. For. LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:55, May 9, 2013 (UTC)
Against: 0

No against votes

Comments
  1. This has been on VFH for 77 days, and some users haven't yet weighed in. We are a slow moving lot now, laid back and talking slow in the sun. Pass me the brisket, someone, and open another cool one. Thanks. Aleister 15:40 13-5-'13
  2. I wouldn't be too obvious Al. I once mentioned to Spike on his talk page that my article: Capitalism: in grammar it had received (7/1) on VFH, which was highest on there and yet it hadn't been featured despite the fact that (5/0) and (6/0) articles were and I got this reply:

"VFH is graded on a curve, it changes over time, and Admins have great latitude, so that a vote with a sensible rationale, in practice, carries more weight than a vote with no explanation at all. The other, more important, part about the previous lesson not to pester individual voters is not to pester Admins about evaluating the votes. What spreads across this site much faster than individual recognition is the recognition that certain Uncyclopedians are too anxious about it." SPIKE Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:09, May 13, 2013 (UTC)

  1. You may have misread me. I'm glad it's still on VFH, which was my point. 77 days is awhile, so I'm grateful that the admins have left it up, not asking for it to be featured. Five is not enough votes to have something featured. I figure with the rate of voting nowadays, if it clears 7 it's doing well. It'd be nice if Spike read this page and commented, simply because Spike's comments are usually very very entertaining and pointed, and usually include large chunks of good advice and information. I agree totally with the quote from Spike you posted. But the more interesting thing is that this page is mostly true, about the autographs at least. A great deal of the American League's old documents and correspondance was taken to with scissors. The page's description of the office policy of the president emirutus of the American League is near exactly how it happened. Aleister 18:36 13-5-'13

Then I did misread you and apolagise for my foolishness. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:28, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

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