Uncyclopedia:VFH/UnScripts:Superman's first adventure

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UnScripts:Superman's first adventure (history, logs)

Article: UnScripts:Superman's first adventure

Score: 6.5

Nominated by: Scofield 20:08, March 20, 2011 (UTC)
For: 9.5
  1. Symbol for vote For. On a wing and a prayer, I give you this self-nom. It's a spoof of Superman's first comic-book appearance, which is listed as a source. --Scofield 20:08, March 20, 2011 (UTC)
  2. For. Pigeons know more than you indeed. Jackofspades (talk) 04:54, March 21, 2011 (UTC)
  3. For. Wow this nailed it. 07:50, March 21, 2011 (UTC)
  4. Symbol for vote For. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:59, 21 March 2011
  5. Symbol for vote For.MimoMimomaxusMaxus 13:18, March 21, 2011 (UTC)
  6. Symbol for vote For. A nail-biter. Yay! for Superman. Aleister 13:10 23-3-'11
  7. Symbol for vote For.. Albeit it could use a little more work, but UnScripts are pretty hard and this deserves at least a couple of more days, if not more. Plus, the caption in the last picture clenched it for me. Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector 03:59, March 25, 2011 (UTC)
  8. For This is actually quite clever. I enjoyed it. mAttlobster. (hello) 13:20, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
  9. For. Ok I can go with this as a feature. LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:19, March 30, 2011 (UTC)
  10. For I jizzed. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 15:34, March 30, 2011 (UTC)
Symbol comment vote Invalid sockpuppet for Because. --Sgt Pepper's 09:13, April 15, 2011 (UTC)
Bad socky! Do that again, and I take you to ban patrol! Oh wait.... --Scofield 09:15, April 15, 2011 (UTC)
Against: 3
  1. Sorry, man. Something about plot contrivances and not enough funny for how much is there... or some such. Mind, it's not bad; it could just be so much better. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 09:27, 30 March 2011
  2. Against. Sorry, I can't go for this. It clings too close to the source, and there's just not enough expansion on it for me, or enough jokes. I agree with Lyrithya that there's potential for this to be so much more. --UU - natter UU Manhole 09:46, Mar 31
  3. Against. Per UU ChiefjusticeXBox360 15:33, April 16, 2011 (UTC)
  • pee Jackofspades (talk) 04:55, March 21, 2011 (UTC)
  • Symbol comment vote Comment. Wohoo! Sir Socky just voted "For"! I consider that a victory Scofield 13:23, March 21, 2011 (UTC)
  • Could it be...my first feature? And I mean feature, not quasi-feature? *contemplates vote-whoring campaign.* --Scofield 19:15, March 23, 2011 (UTC)
  • Abstain. This looks to me like... a paraphrase of the original comic. Sort of a Cliff Notes version told in a more casual style. I'm sort of having trouble finding the satire. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 21:44, March 23, 2011 (UTC)
  • I'm so....torn. This page will be removed in a few days due to low health if nobody votes on it soon. However, if I tell people to check out this article, they may not like it, and vote "Against" instead! What do I do? --Scofield 17:07, March 24, 2011 (UTC)
  • Meh. I feel that it needs a little more work, but I'm not against it. Pup 02:49 25 Mar '11
  • Symbol comment vote Comment. Any specific area where I could improve? Let me know. Scofield 05:51, March 25, 2011 (UTC)
    Nothing I can pinpoint. It just feels a little dry is all. Maybe moving from the script a bit would be a good idea. Also looking into the stupidity inherit. Could you really imagine a reporter being sent to a house where there is domestic abuse in order to find a story? The original writers rely upon suspension of disbelief - break that down and you have the premise for some true laughs. Also, why does he decide to dress up in tights in order to fight crime. In pre sexual revolution times is it really a uber manly thing to do? Pup 10:59 25 Mar '11 22:59, March 25, 2011 (UTC)
I did have two people joking about his tights in the script. --Scofield 09:06, March 26, 2011 (UTC)
I really don't know how much I can actually move away from the script. I did add a picture and make some minor changes though. Hopefully this'll become a quasi-feature if a couple more people vote for it... --Scofield 11:25, March 26, 2011 (UTC)
  • Symbol comment vote Comment. *sigh*. Nobody's voting on this anymore. Scofield 13:11, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
  • Quasi-feature, here I come (unless somebody else wants to vote for it. Hmm....)
Sorry for all the relentless commentary, but this is quite easily my best shot at getting featured at the moment. --Scofield 16:55, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
  • Symbol comment vote Comment. Thanks for the link to the original comic. I was actually more intrigued with the 'Zatara' character who dresses like Fred Astaire in Top Hat to take on the criminals. What happened to him? I have re-read your article a few times but can't decide yet. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:57, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
    Ah...he's a magician...--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:01, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
    Also father of Zatanna if you're interested in reading more, similar comics. Jackofspades (talk) 19:05, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
  • I was waiting for your vote, Lyrithya, but unlike Romartus, you have decided to vote against me yet again. Any way I could make it better? Because seriously, I've done my best. --Scofield 11:17, March 30, 2011 (UTC)
    Not mentioning 'plot contrivances', specifically, would have helped... I immediately thought of Modus' Star Trek thing and remembered how much more funnies it seemed to include. Everything was there for a reason, no filler. This seems to have more filler, stuff that's just there, not doing anything special, not presented in any special form. And I can't leave out the usual Lyrithya-grr-formatting bit, either - the script format is just all... wrong. There doesn't appear to be any reason about the piece why it should be all wrong, either. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 11:31, 30 March 2011
  • I agree when you say the Modus's Star Trek was a funnier page. Maybe it's because he knows how to move away from the script without ruining it and I don't, which is why I deliberately avoided making anything up. However, I fail to understand your problem with my formatting. I've followed JackOfSpades's recommendations, and he seems to be okay with it. --Scofield 14:48, March 30, 2011 (UTC)
    I don't think most people know what a proper script looks like. Problem is, once you get used to something... just notice when it's off. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:40, 31 March 2011
    Most people who know what a proper script looks like know that there's no particular way that proper scripts look. mAttlobster. (hello) 22:29, April 6, 2011 (UTC)
    Normally I'm all for jokery and whatnot, but misleading people into bad practice really doesn't help anyone. I'm not one in the field of this sort of dealybobber, but we don't already have anything, perhaps I could try to write up a guide and make some templates for folks to use; meantime, if you want to look credible, google's your friend, so to speak. Look for script formatting and you should be able to find some guide thingies and/or examples... 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:45, 7 April 2011
    That was supposed to be an if, but anyhow, Funnybony has a link on his talkpage... 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 23:56, 7 April 2011


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