UnSignpost:Press Room

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Welcome

Welcome to the new UnSignpost or as we say: "UnSignpost Rebourne." The old one sort of ran out of steam and most of its editors became inactive until it was revived by me, ScottPat, to start the new era of Journalism. Write any reviews, comments, suggestions and proposed articles below, please. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 18:17, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Need any general knowledge? Any problems can be asked to myself or Scott Pat at our talk pages or here. Dannyboy1209 (talk) 22:35, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
If anybody wants to create an UnSignpost but has no idea about how to do it, an empty UnSignpost is placed at UnSignpost/Model. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:39, July 4, 2013 (UTC)


Archives

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2008

Archive 1: Issues #1, #2, #3
Archive 2: Issues #4, #5
Archive 3: Issues #6 - #10
Archive 4: Issues #11 - #13
Archive 5: Issues #14 - #17
Archive 6: Issues #18 - 24
Archive 7: Issues #25 - 27

2009

Archive 8: Issues #28 - 32
Archive 9: Issues #33 - 37
Archive 10: Issues #38 - 44
Archive 11: Issues #45 - 49
Archive 12: Issues #50 - 52
Archive 13: Issues #53 - 62
Archive 14: Issues #62 - 69
Archive 15: Issues #something - something else.

2010

Archive 16: Issues #seventy-something - 78
Archive 17: Issues #79 - 89
Archive 18: Issues #something - huh?

2011

Archive 19: Issues between 2010 and 2012

2012

Archive 20: The end of the Chief era (up to issue 160ish)

2013 (End of the original UnSignpost)

Archive 21: The end of the stalling, inactive era.

Archive 22: The Renaissance of UnSignpost

UnSignpost articles needed

As always, UnSignpost articles are very much needed. The new UnSignpost will be created this Friday (Friday the 5th) and if nobody puts anything, I will be the only person to write the whole newspaper. I am physically able to do it but think that it might be boring for a reader to see only my signature in the whole issue. Thanks! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:01, July 3, 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost#20130713 (the date is not sure)

Advice for Scott

As you are going to do this and later UnSignposts, here is some information you may need.

  • There is only one biopic contribution which has not been used yet: Spike's. We really need more. Tomorrow I can ask several users to do this (I think Zim ulator and Denza can do it).
  • As Romartus said, he will publish the PLS results today so we might include it as well.
  • And, please, if you are going to write something yourself, inform me, so I won't do it tomorrow. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:46, July 12, 2013 (UTC)
I have published the results on the PLS voting page for now. Best Noob article will be finished on the voting later. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:55, July 12, 2013 (UTC)
Thanks Romartus. I think Spike's has been used, I will check. I am going to include PLS and hopefully an interview with Romartus. I am writing the PLS bit but would be good to have another article on something. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:06, July 13, 2013 (UTC)

Ok. I will write about something. I don't think Spike's was used as I checked all the UnSignposts Scott did amd there was no his comtribution. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:42, July 13, 2013 (UTC)

Mine was not used, though I don't need the publicity and it is distasteful for a website to write about its own administrators. You asked me once about this feature: I don't mind it at all, and indeed a biopic used to be a staple of the main page. Mine was done on the main page long ago by someone (perhaps MrN9000 or the Chief) who based it on a quick reading of my user page. I know all I ever wanted to know about both Zim and Denza, though none of it explains why I can't get an invite to a cook-out an hour south of here. The real utility of this feature is not putting a human face on Admins (which no one buys anyway) but stroking newbie egos (preferably with their consent and involvement). If there is no benefit, the feature need not run merely because "we need something to put there." The PLS results are indeed the big news on the website. Spıke ¬ 14:18 13-Jul-13

I always thought that the biopic contribution was a way to get users to know about each other, to get introduced to others, admins as well. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:19, July 13, 2013 (UTC)

A small comment: can I, please, be Anton simply, even though I have the Lt. part in my signature? And also I do not mention the VFP in my article. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:38, July 13, 2013 (UTC)

VFH entries

The PLS is done and our Votes For Highlight page has already three more entries in one day with 22 entries and 9 different nominators all in all. The topics of articles vary and the person who will go there in order to vote, will certainly find a theme that he is interested in. There are, for instance three HowTos, two UnScripts, two UnNews and one UnBook. Three other articles talk about something beginning with the letter "A" (and one even has three capital As at the same time) and knowing that one of the best-known Uncyclopedia articles is "AAAAAAAA", these ones will certainly be featured...one day. With the rich choice of themes, such as military (Italian Tanks), military history (Uncyclopedian), famous military leaders (The Last King of Scotland) and military countries (Ukraine), there is even one essay about the qualities and defects of a 20th century vacuum-cleaner (Henry).

The situation is still not very stable and, although Cap'n Crunch is currently more popular than the Atheist Alliance of America, everything can change in a minute if there are enough voters. And looking only at the VFH scores, it becomes obvious that there are more people who want to know about the best way of taming six-legged lame men, than there are those, who are willing to walk on Saturn and (even less) wanting to acquire a a car insurance). Does this mean that the emigration of Earthlings to Saturn is not very significant and the amount of car crushes is being reduced? It is up to you whether to go to the VFH page and figure it out or to keep on reading this issue of UnSignpost which might not be as informative.

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:42, July 13, 2013 (UTC)

Again

I think that Scott is gone, so I am going to issue all the UnSignposts till the middle of August (if nobody objects). I am sure I will manage but any help is welcome. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:48, July 29, 2013 (UTC)

I'll provide any needed help, though I am unaware of anything newsworthy having happened. Spıke ¬ 14:59 29-Jul-13
There is always something and I am sure it will be enough. I am not going to work on the newspaper until the end of the week, though (not going to break a tradition). Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:30, July 30, 2013 (UTC)

HowTo:Be A Reviewer Of The Month

For those who want to be Reviewers of the Month (as the question of resurrecting the contest has arisen recently) but have no idea about how to do the in-depth reviews or simply do not have any suggestions of improvements for the writer, the UnSignpost editors have worked an ideal Pee Review that will work in almost every case. Comments that you should not insert in review (delete them before copying and pasting the table) are in square brackets and you only have to insert your signature at the end and the name of the article you are reviewing (well, it is actually me who has done the review) several times.

Humour: 6 The article is overally good, although you may disagree, of course. My personal opinion about it is that it should be more regular, i.e. have about the same amount of jokes in every section and have sections of almost the same length. Your humor is good but you get a bit tired arround the middle, although you seem to have plenty of ideas in the introduction [This is so in the majority of articles]. Another important thing is that you really have to write something relevant. If the topic of your article is [The article you are reviewing], then you do not have to switch the topic and begin storytelling. You could as well talk about the Flying Spaghetti Monster! [Important! Don't use the last sentence if you are reviewing "Flying Spaghetti Monster"!]
Concept: 7 Your concept seems to be good, the only problem is that it is not very well developed everywhere. Sometimes, I find some jokes that show that you have wonderful ideas, but you do not develop them. Why? And, of course, you need a bit of a tidying-up. If you have nice thoughts about [Insert article name here], use all of them and use them sensibly and completely!
Prose and formatting: 5 Of course, you should always proofread your work and, although the amount of your mistakes is not critical [now, you have to hope that the author of the article does not have a mistake in every word, otherwise, he will understand that you are not reviewing his article]. There is encyclopedinss but the question is: "Is your article encyclopaedic from bottom to the top?" [If it would be so, the article would not be requesting a Pee Review]
Images: 7 The quality of images is stable but I should say that you are not using them in the most suitable way! [This phrase will always work, as the writer will never understand what it means]
Miscellaneous: 6.25 Average score for the article.
Final Score: 31.25 I hope to see more contributions from you in future! The article has some problems [Ideal articles do not exist], but they can be fixed [everything can be fixed], and so I stated all of the defects I found in the parts above [yes, sure, you did].
Reviewer: [Your signature]
Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:41, August 1, 2013 (UTC)

A new format?

At the fork, the format of UnSignpost has changed. Here is the newspaper that is going to be published soon. I think that it is a better format than the one we have right now, so maybe we should borrow this idea? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:49, August 1, 2013 (UTC)

As you are the only person stepping up to do this work right now, it is totally your call. I predict that there will be grumbling about theft, that there would be grumbling even if you didn't do it, and that there has probably been ample theft in the other direction; in other words, the reaction of pundits doesn't matter. Copying the format does not mean copying the content; if they still exult in pranks and joke bans, such departments should be replaced with other stuff for this website. Spıke ¬ 16:04 1-Aug-13
Theft!!!! Then again, copying directly is the sincerest form of flattery. I've stolen 98% of my features from old issues of 'Finland Satire' published in the 18th Century, in Denmark. Aleister 16:11 1-8-'13
Al, I will never vote for you again! Just kidding, did you like my ideal review? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:41, August 1, 2013 (UTC)

The new UnSignpost is at UnSignpost/20130803. Spike, if you are going to write an article (as you said), please, put it at the beginning. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:55, August 2, 2013 (UTC)

I promised to help you and I will. But I probably also said there doesn't seem to be any news "fit to print," and I am unable to create it out of a sow's ear. Thank you for being willing to be upstaged if a veritable "scoop" should occur. Spıke ¬ 03:59 3-Aug-13
I think that the two forums about old users coming back is good enough. If I find anything else, I will tell you. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:28, August 3, 2013 (UTC)
Users come and go all the time. As this is not news, I think the dominant criterion is: Can you make it funny? Spıke ¬ 15:08 4-Aug-13

A problem

I noticed several days ago that there was a problem with the new format: the content would not go into two columns. I tried to fix this, failed and made an experiment: copied the fork USP completely and pasted it here. And guess what? The same format does not work here. So I bet there is a difference between what works here and there and, as I don't have much technical skills, I won't be able to issue the USP until I somehow find a way to solve the problem. What I plan to do is to go Wikipedia, copy the Signpost there and see if it works here. If this does not work, I will try to fix the format manually. And if everything fails, then the readers will have to read something else this weekend. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:37, August 4, 2013 (UTC)

It's possible that the population of templates at the two sites has diverged. If you cannot make the technical things work, then this experiment might be a waste of time, unless you are learning stuff about wikitables and writing in HTML. As above, I don't see much news here this fortnight, and would not be disturbed if the UnSignpost were late--but it would be a shame if it were late due solely to self-induced mechanical problems! Spıke ¬ 15:08 4-Aug-13
Yes. And I am trying to fix everything now. I copied a wikipedia template for the signpost articles, edited it and even used it (see below). Now I want to create the newspaper itself using the wikipedia format. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:21, August 4, 2013 (UTC)

Test


Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:29, August 4, 2013 (UTC)

Conclusion

The template that I copied from the Wikipedia Signpost works. The question is how. I should edit it in a way that will allow us not to have red links inside. After I work it out completely, I will check if it will work inside the USP. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:33, August 4, 2013 (UTC)

Red lik fixed. Next step. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:05, August 4, 2013 (UTC)
It seems a perfectly fine format, but at the moment I prefer the old one as I could minimise it. Is there any way you could make it possible to do so on the new format? Sir Reverend P. Pennyfeather (fancy a chat?) CUN VFH PLS 17:59, August 12, 2013 (UTC)

I was struggling to find an answer to that question for a week. It seems that if I use the template I created (Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost Template) to place articles, the minimizing becomes impossible. If you want that option, I will have to change the format again. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:29, August 13, 2013 (UTC)

Valley Girl Week

Now comes Shabidoo with the VFH nomination of UnBooks:My Summer Vacation in Saudi Arabia‎ (one of two nominations I damned with faint praise, to-wit: "Fine writing, but hardly encyclopedic (Is this "namespace bias," which is prohibited in VFH? Should something be done about it?)). Then Darth Generic with the on-line role-playing game Barbie Doll Fortress 2‎‎. (Perhaps honorable mention to Aaronaraujo2013 for NASCAR, mostly because he is broadcasting for American redneck racing fans to help him enhance this article.) There is only one conclusion to be drawn: This is the week of the Valley Girl on Uncyclopedia. (This is not "an UnSignpost article." It is a "lead" that an enterprising reporter could follow up.) Spıke ¬ 22:03 17-Aug-13

Thanks Spike. (Glad to see you're not involved in the coup) Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:26, August 18, 2013 (UTC)

It is a trap. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:52, August 18, 2013 (UTC)
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