The biggest news of the week this week is that there isn't any news whatsoever, sure there are a few forums in the dump that promise to radically shake up the way everyone edits Uncyclopedia, or at least change it slightly. But for the most part there is no news, which always comes as a great relief to everyone in the UnSignpost office as it means that we can spend this week drivelling about pointless minutia and thus crawl that one vital step closer to death.
The state of the wiki is this: nobody is voting for half of the monthly awards. This is naturally a cause of great concern for everybody, the prevailing feeling being that somebody should be nominating and voting for people on these awards, but we'd rather it wasn't us. Nobody is happy with the current VFS system, but nobody can agree on anything to change it to, so the current VFS system has remained with he proviso that everyone sneer about how unfair it is every time it is used.
This periodical has already chronicled the appalling miscarriage of justice that allows administrators extra votes on VFS so it with an air of surprise that the UnSignpost can now bring to you a proposal to let administrators run everything. Uncyclopedia's 29th wordy controversy filled blockbuster of the year suggests that the admins run everything because they are the most thorough and most experienced users, the voting section of the same forum being filled with comments from admins saying "Tl;dr" and "I can't be bothered to read your entire essay", hand these splendid fellows the keys to city immediately, the UnSignpost implores you to entrust the administrative body with any nuclear codes or state secrets you might have, safe in the knowledge that they will never ever be looked at.
Thekillerfroggy has solved the problems of the Worst 100 list by skipping 60 reflections and justifying it with a cliché, absolutely nobody notices and continues adding reflections about themselves and why they are adding a reflection to the list. Modusoperandi adds an actual reflection to the list causing the universe to begin collapsing in upon itself.
The final and most grave piece of news is that Uncyclopedia is critically low in images of boobs, totalling only 634 pictures in the boob images category, now either some of you aren't correctly categorising your images of boobs, or there is a serious problem. Socky, who long ago took on the arduous and time consuming task of auditing the boob images category said "How I wank on audit the images properly if they are incorrectly categorised? Please don't keep your not safe for work images to yourself. Categorise them and thus share them with the world!".
17:50, August 1, 2012 Lyrithya (talk | contribs) blocked 22.214.171.124 (talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (The cat said you were evil. )
01:06, July 31, 2012 RAHB (talk | contribs) blocked Waltdisneyfan999 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (I can't trust Mr-ex to form a coherent sentence most of the time, but I can generally trust his transcendent knowledge of trolls and sockpuppets.)
10:05, August 6, 2012 ChiefjusticeDS (talk | contribs) blocked Lmarine0510 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Whenever you add a shock image to a page on Uncyclopedia God sets fire to a school bus)
06:37, August 4, 2012 RAHB (talk | contribs) blocked 126.96.36.199 (talk) with an expiry time of infinite (LOLDONGS)
12:51, August 8, 2012 ChiefjusticeDS (talk | contribs) blocked 188.8.131.52 (talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours (Creating shite pages, I got banned for that once.)
Service outage of the Week
So the UnSignpost delivery schedule is in something of a state of flux at the moment, it arrives every two weeks and then it arrives weekly. This is an intolerable state of affairs and you all deserve an explanation.
It's all your fault for not writing splendid articles that we can use to fill up the gaping white space that confronts us every single week. Why not write a splendid article that can be placed into the UnSignpost, thus freeing up our editor's busy schedule and allowing him to spend less time slaving away at his keyboard and more time windsurfing with foreign dignitaries.
Adobe Potatochop CS4 is the industry standard software for chip production amongst chip shops the length and breadth of England. Available with a number of plug-ins, including the most recent 'extra crispy' update, it is, along with Adobe Suppersready and Adobe Fritolayers, one of Adobe's most well known pieces of software.
Released first in the United States, it is currently available for Pringles XP and Pringles Vista under the slogan "Once you chop, you can't stop" and also for Apple Mac as CS4 (Chip Shop 4).