What's that you say? We can't possibly run a story on the Poo Lit Surprise for a third consecutive week? Well what on earth gave you that idea? No this story is about the other goings on on Uncyclopedia that certainly aren't the Poo Lit Surprise, which incidentally is happening at the moment. So for absolutely no real reason we called in to speak to Oliphaunte who we found crying his eyes out somewhere that most certainly wasn't the PLS. "It's just so unfair" he sobbed to our wholly unsympathetic reporters "I worked so hard and now on a technicality I have had two articles disqualified from the-" Unfortunately a huge Rhinocerous then appeared from nowhere and ate Oliphaunte before he could tell us what he had been disqualified from; much to the delight of our assembled reporters who could all now knock off work forty minutes early. However an interesting fact that we did dig up is that if Oliphaunte had been disqualified from the PLS, something which we can't confirm, it would make him the first Uncyclopedian to ever be disqualified from two separate PLS categories, for the same reason, in the same day. Ha ha ha, how embarrassing that would be.
It has also come to the attention of our editorial team that there is a worrying noob shortage on Uncyclopedia, how do they know this? They know this because on passing the PLS page on our way to... peace and quiets we happened to notice that there are currently no entrants for the best noob article category, something which any aspiring new users should take note of, since you need only churn out a piece of utter shite quality in order to scoop the prize and earn the adoration of your peers. For those who are interested in trifling, uninteresting and unrelated news, PLS articles are being accepted until the 4th of October so there is still ample time for you to pen some kind of hilarious article about a Dog called Dover who rides a cloud around the world and combats the environmental effects of Globalisation with a magical beret.
This story has been all about the PLS, we totally fooled you.
The headline says it all. The shame that we all should feel for the state of things and the location of that shame. This is the news that VFH hit a new and highly interesting low this week. All five of you who visited the page may well have noticed the banner at the top (which is gone now, in a transparent attempt to stop me having something else to ramble about this week) declaring that while we aren't short on articles that the community thinks are worthy of a spot on the front page, we are short of a community to confirm this. Well no we aren't it's just they are all very very busy. Frosty for instance is exceptionally busy creating and maintaining forums like this, while Aimsplode is still desperately flogging the deceased equine that is this... thing. Clearly these people are not to be distracted by the social niceties of voting and the creative process.
Another, much more interesting revelation this week came when TheHappySpaceman declared his hatred of "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" which polls show has recently become more popular among Uncyclopedians than www.pornforsadlonelybastards.com. We didn't bother asking him for comment, partly because laziness is next to Godliness but also because he hates ponies so is unlikely to find a group of journalists asking him for quotes about the same any more enjoyable. So there you have it, TheHappySpaceman hates ponies and nobody is voting on VFH. Truly these are the darkest of days.
19:27, September 24, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked 22.214.171.124 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (If you're going to blank a page, just edit the entire page and remove everything. Doing it section by section is just silly.)
16:28, September 27, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Swagswagswag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month (One day for being chronically unfunny, the rest of it because I just don't like you. Your eyes are too close together.)
21:33, September 26, 2011 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 126.96.36.199 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month (Uncyclopedia is not for self promotion. Neither is Wikipedia, but I guess they haven't figured it out yet or something.)
18:42, September 23, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 188.8.131.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days (Let us have a massive rave covered in excrement. In fact I'm going to have one now. On my own. With glowsticks!)
Biopic of the Week
I kissed a lady once. On an unrelated note you should really check out Spike's userpage. It's pretty cool.
This periodical fully accepts and affirms that this is a cop-out. We just ate too many Lion Bars you see. I didn't even think that was possible.
Thing we should all know this week.
04:25 Uncyclopedia talk:Votes for deletion (diff|hist) . . (+8) . . Bizzeebeever (Talk|contribs) (RANT ALERT: Once again, fixing my broken signature, and hoping no one notices.)