Uncyclopedia:The Video Game
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Uncyclopedia: The Video Game was created by Oscar Wilde and Tim Allen as a summer project because the two were bored. Oscar Wilde thought that his shit creation of Uncyclopedia needed a shit counterpart and so he created Tim Allen...and Uncyclopedia: The Video Game. The game centres around YOU the hopeless man who has dedicated his life to Uncyclopedia. You can vandalise, beat vandalisers with a stick, or, just be the boring old reader.
The unique scoring system is made up of several different points, which will increase as you play more.
- Girlfriends lost: For every hour you play the game on a Friday or Saturday night your girlfriends lost status will go up by one. MY STATUS IS AT 1,000 WOOHOO!!!1111
- Chins gained: For every 20 snacks you eat while playing Uncyclopedia: The video Game you gain 1 chin. These are especially useful if you're a worthless member of this site who doesn't contribute anything to it, and you need those chins to wiggle every time you chuckle.
- Pounds gained: Similar to the chins gained status, the pounds gained is a status that gets upgraded for every 3 snacks you eat. This is VERY useful if your character is a nerd with no girlfriend who has a heart attack death wish.
- Pets ignored: Yeah, that's right. We know about how you were too busy on Uncyclopedia and forgot to feed your cat and let it starve to death. This feature is especially useful if your created character is a black man who formally played quarter back for the Falcons.
You may think this game sounds perfect for you, but some people think it's too violent and encourages animal cruelty. Don't believe it no matter how true it is, don't believe it. Thanks to some moron in marketing or something like that, everyone who bought the game had his name released to P.E.T.A and not the good kind. Everyone that bought this game had animal blood thrown on them. Tim Allen was even captured by a member of P.E.T.A and neglected until he starved to death. And thus the ESRB gave Uncyclopedia: The video game an M rating. Also 60 minutes did an exclusive on this game and it left them wondering...what the fuck is Uncyclopedia?...