Uncyclopedia:The Video Game

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“Just like playing with the real one, only better!”
Uncyclodpedia Game
Developer(s) Oscar Wilde
Publisher(s) 1337
Engine Diesel
Release date(s) Still in testing
Genre(s) virtual boardgame
Mode(s) FPS and multiplayer
Rating(s) Faaaahbulous
Platform(s) all
Media(s) 1.44" floppy disc or Betamax or BBC/CNN
System Requirements Intel 286 processor, 2KB RAM
Input penis

Uncyclopedia: The Video Game was created by Oscar Wilde and Tim Allen as a summer project because the two were bored. Oscar Wilde thought that his shit creation of Uncyclopedia needed a shit counterpart and so he created Tim Allen...and Uncyclopedia: The Video Game. The game centres around YOU the man who has dedicated his life to Uncyclopedia. You can vandalise,[1] beat vandalisers with a stick,[2] or, just be the boring old reader.[3]

edit Scoring System

The unique scoring system is made up of several different points, which will increase as you play more.

  • Girlfriends lost: For every hour you play the game on a Friday or Saturday night your girlfriends lost status will go up by one. MY STATUS IS AT 1,000 WOOHOO!!!1111
  • extra fat Chins gained: For every 20 snacks you eat while playing UN:TVG you gain 1 chin. These are especially useful if you're a worthless member of this site who doesn't contribute anything to it, and you need those chins to wiggle every time you chuckle.
  • Pounds gained: Similar to the chins gained status, the pounds gained is a status that gets upgraded for every 3 snacks you eat. This is VERY useful if your character is a nerd with no girlfriend who has a heart attack death wish.
  • Pets ignored: Yeah, that's right. We know about how you were too busy on Uncyclopedia and forgot to feed your cat and let it starve to death. This feature is especially useful if your created character is a black man who formally played quarter back for the Falcons.

edit Vandalising

One of the more fun things for your charachter to do is become a vandaliser. This is the most popular choice among players, probably because they feel the need to destroy someone else's hard work, and their self esteem. However the common vandaliser will get beaten with a stick, and will have the long ass respawn time of 24 hours. It takes a more experienced player to get a lot of points. Destorying little pieces of work instead of entire articles. putting real facts from Wikipedia up on here, ya know all that cool stuff.

edit Beating Vandalisers with a Stick

If for some reason you decide to make your charachter noble... you have the option to beat those pesky vandals with sticks. This is the hardest choice in the game, as you are always outnumbered. There is an old saying for every 1 user there is 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 vandals.

edit Criticisms

You may think this game sounds perfect for you, but some people think it's too violent and encourages animal cruelty. Don't believe it no matter how true it is, don't believe it. Thanks to some moron in marketing or something like that, everyone who bought the game had his name released to P.E.T.A and not the good kind. Everyone that bought this game had animal blood[4] thrown on them. Tim Allen was even captured by a member of P.E.T.A and neglected until he starved to death. And thus the ESRB gave UN:TVG an M rating. Also 60 minutes did an exclusive on this game and it left them wondering...what the fuck is Uncyclopedia?...

edit Footnotes

  1. Which gets your demon points up.
  2. Which for some reason gets your angel status up.
  3. Which gets your loser points up.
  4. Which is a little bit hypocritical I think.
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