Uncyclopedia:The Article Whisperer/Results

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Below are the results of The Article Whisperer.

Best Most Wanted Article

Best Requested Article

I enjoyed reading both articles. Always fun to judge. If either of you wants a more in-depth pee review, let me know on my talk page and I'll gladly write one. --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 22:31, January 31, 2015 (UTC)

  1. Winner: NBC by SPIKE
    Very funny. Starts off clever and sarcastic and continues with some great one-liners throughout. Overall, this was a classic SPIKE piece. I've read a lot of your articles so I have high expectations. This certainly didn't disappoint, although considering its length, it would be nice if you could add a few more pictures. Other than that, I liked it very much.
  2. Runner-up: ENIAC by Chunkles
    I had never heard of this so I had to read (well, skim) the Wikipedia page first. I was a little confused about why the article focused so much on Bill Gates considering that he had nothing to do with ENIAC. I almost feel like a lot of the jokes would have worked better in an article about Windows. Although I was entertained by a lot of your jokes, a lot of parts came across as a little random. I thought the modified code for HelloWorld was very funny, but it seemed unrelated to other parts of the article. It would also be nice to have some pictures to spice up the article. Overall, I think the article just needs a little more work connecting all of the ideas together because right now it's a little disjointed. With some tweaks and pictures, this will certainly turn into a great article.

Best Vital Article

Anton199
This TAW edition surprised me with the number of fine, indisputably feature-quality pieces. Even though the ones that haven't been finished look to me greatly promising. Anton (talk) 15:20, January 31, 2015 (UTC)
  1. The winning article is... Horace by SPIKE

This is a wonderful work, which breathes inexhaustible humour energy. That’s why I’d like to award the first place specifically to “Horace”. You’re as intelligent as ever, remaining funny all the way through, making me think there is no topic you cannot make great jokes about. The tone is steady and you never run out of fuel. Just, for me, it is a pity that the moment of Horace’s death isn’t as originally clever as the rest of the article, even if it is very cleverly described. Finally, I am still amazed at your ability to turn anything into encyclopediness, which seems to be a style you master all the faces of, even when you’re ‘innuending’.


Concerning the second place, I really don’t think we should have one runner-up. There are three great completed pieces that equally deserve this place, although each one in a different way, and choosing one, in my opinion, would just be over-critical and counter-productive. However, if you really wish to have a clearly identified 2nd and 3d place, I will do that. In any case, I am commenting on each one.

So here are the three runners-up:

As all of your articles, Raphael is abundant with enthusiasm, funny ideas and cleverly-phrased jokes, no matter whether they are simply sexual innuendos or intelligent satire. It’s something that makes the reader never tired of reading them even when he knows nothing about the topic.

My only advice is to look at small parts, such as “Florentine Stuff”, where a some points you just seem to be telling the story. “In around 1500, young Raphael moved to Florence. There he first met Leonardo di Vinci [...] Raphael also met Michelangelo. [...] So he moved to Rome.” Despite the necessity of transitions between different life-moments of Raphael, I have an impression like you could do something funnier, if you integrated them into bigger parts or ignored the moments you find less interesting.

Also, just a question: why do Michelangelo and da Vinci start hating Raphael? You talk about it in the intro, so I feel very curious.


Very funny, imaginative and clever work. Also very nicely formatted and structured, so that I have an impression like I am visiting a gallery while reading the page. Your jokes are so incrusted into the “soul” of the page that I had to re-read several parts to find sexual innuendos!

I would only suggest looking out for bits of “awkward prose”, such as “and definitely not self-aggradizing at all” or “FABULOUS”. They contrast with an otherwise impeccable style, my favourite example of which being “Not content with being ahead of his time in his work alone, Rembrandt also had an avant-garde personal life.”


Very clever and original piece, which makes very original and clever connections between various phenomenons which many have stopped considering original or interesting. Your humour is of a kind you’ll laugh at immediately but will still want to re-read feeling that you haven’t grasped the entire message. To sum up: a funny piece that looks very simple on surface, but has a very sophisticated mechanism.

And even though such an article cannot leave you disappointed, I felt a slight regret for it being so concise: I would have really loved reading more, for instance, on the topic of mechanisms of work of various renewables, especially because I felt you could say a lot more about them. But, honestly, very well done!


The rest of the entries (in alphabetical order):

I know you had time-related problems and it’s a pity you didn’t finish the article. What is there looks very promising and interesting, as you have some very good ideas for jokes, which are actually taken from reality. The problems are of a kind that I’m sure will be eliminated when you finish the article, which I really hope you do. Just don’t hurry and wait until you have more time to think everything over and get more ideas to produce something truly great! Ask me if you need any help!

Your ‘article’ was a nice change from otherwise long texts submitted for this competition. Even though I already laughed at it last year, thanks for making me smile once again!

This is one of the funniest and most promising beginnings I have ever read. I honestly laughed several times just while reading the introduction, that has so many brilliant aspects to it. It is a real pity you didn’t have time to finish it, but I am looking forward to reading the continuation! If you need any help, advice or suggestions, I am more than willing to help!

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