Uncyclopedia:The Article Whisperer/Results

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To list your choices for the 2nd edition of "The Article Whisperer", please list the top 5 articles in the appropriate category below. Please remember that judges cannot submit an article in the same category they are judging. Thanks for your help!

Group 1 (Finished!)

  • Frosty
    1. User:Lyrithya/Twilight (book) She did put a of effort into this, and although I'm a firm believer in the fact twilight is totally boring, I did laugh a bit. So winner here.
    2. User:Phrank Psinatra/Meat Unlike most entries, this is looking suprisingly finished. I laughed too, which is good.
    3. User:Shabidoo/s I didn't laugh as much with the other two, but I guess its fair to let it come in front of the ones that don't look anywhere near finished. It does need some work still to improve the humor, repetition made it a slight bit challenging to read O_o
    4. User:Zombiebaron/wip/Pi Does not consist of 1 paragraph like all of the others, needs expansion sure, but has some good ideas too. Also Star Trek.
    5. User:RAHB/Arizona A good intro for an article, sorry to hear about RAHBs financial situation because I'm sure being the writer he is it could be a lot more.
  • Thekillerfroggy
    1. Lyrithya's "Twilight" is a clear winner in mine eyes.
    2. Phrank's "Meat" has some shining ideas, but the execution could be improved upon
    3. Zombiebaron's "Pi" has the strange charm of an Ed Wood movie.
    4. Shabidoo's "Today" needs some serious improvement.
    5. Socky's "Page ain't Here" is better than the other half-baked stubs.
  • ChiefjusticeDS
    1. User:Lyrithya/Twilight (book). She knows too much about Twilight but that's the only major problem.
    2. User:Shabidoo/s. It doesn't really go anywhere and the joke does begin to get old towards the end, but I like it nonetheless.
    3. User:Phrank Psinatra/Meat. Some good ideas and a few really good ideas here, unfortunately it's somewhat lacklustre in the execution. Some more work and this would be superb.
    4. User:Zombiebaron/wip/Pi. Doesn't say enough to merit a higher position, a shame as what's there is good.

Group 2 (Finished!)

1. The Exorcist: It's good, but seems like a work in progress. Can't really say much without turning this into a pee review, but if you'd like a review, I'll be happy to give one.
2. Antifreeze: A very promising start for an article, but there were a couple of shortcomings within it. One was that the pics could have been better. The first one didn't really place into the article as well as it could have, a picture of a person ingesting anti-freeze would have been a better, and the second pic looks like a pedo trying to coerce a child into his van by threatening him. Also, you have a lot of contradicting parts, such as saying anti-freeze will keep you warm, and then alter saying it will kill you. Also, the article strayed away from the whole "surviving in winter" topic.
3. White Men Can't Jump Looks fairly good, also probably the most completed article here. However, there remained a certain degree of randomness that brought the humour value down a bit. The article as a whole could also use more working to make everything flow better, as it looks right now more like a crammed effort to insert as many random jokes into the paragraphs as possible.
4. Six Degrees of Oscar Wilde:A little random, and Oscar Wilde jokes are a little tiring, but this had a certain degree of uniqueness to it. However, the execution wasn't as good as I feel it could have been.
5. HowTo:Express Yourself In Song: Didn't really see anything of unique value in this. Perhaps I didn't read it right, but I felt as though the writer didn't contribute as much of his own ideas to the article as compared to lines stolen fromt eh songs. Needs more development and would do a lot better.

Honorable mention: Bazooka: It looks like a good start. Lots of penis jokes and such, definitely could use more broadening out on the humour horizon. Also, those quotes should go.
Mention:Cheers Really that was the entire shows plot. But still, no excuse for a complete lack of developing the article. Unless you went to the actual bar to do some investigating and wound up a drunk stage member of the show, eventually becoming a future star in another sitcom only to have your hopes and dreams shattered in a cancellation decision by CBS which led you onto a drug spiral to your untimely death. Then, it would be ok.

1. Antifreeze
2. The Exorcist
3. HowTo:Express Yourself In Song
4. White Men Can't Jump
5. Six Degrees of Oscar Wilde


  • Shabidoo
    • I went to big extreemes to make sure I read the articles without knowing who wrote them so this wouldn't influence my judging. I was totally amazed to find out afterwards who wrote which article. A super big congratulations to Phrank Psinatra (whom I had never heard of before) and a big pat on the back to all of the contestants who all made me laugh, even Cheers, cause it was a stub and stubs are funny.
    1. Six Degrees of Oscar Wilde This is a really great featurable article combining two ideas (oscarwild and partly his use on uncyclopedia ... six degrees of separation and partly the philosophy behind meaningful connections). It has a great flow, development, continuity and its quite funny. Also the images are nice.
    2. Antifreeze .An off the wall article on antifreeze in which we learn absolutely nothing about it. I laughed throughout and laughed out loud with the lobster section. I didnt find the gift to your niece section funny at all. I dig that you chopped an image though this article could definately do with better images. This needs another section or two (and in my humble opinion a rewrite of the niece sections) and I am sure it will be featured in no time.
    3. The Exorcist A pretty funny wikipedia style article based on the movie mixed with the unexpected death of most actors, writers and crew dealing with production. I laughed out loud a few times. The concept is fairly tight and the images are great. Some of the jokes and comments seem to come out of nowhere, and I think you really didnt have enough time to integrate them into the article with polished continuity. In any case...I liked it.
    4. White Men Can't Jump White men cant jump had some pretty funny moments. Tying in the movie (and the cultural generalization) and Obamah and his administration spending lots of money on things, is a great idea. Things I found funny: Calling it a scientific endevour, national secret revealed after death of bin laden (thoguh you ought to explain why it was revealed after his death...a great oportunity for deeper humour), golden rulers...high speed cameras, black man charged in an unrelated event (though it might be funnier for the black man to be charged for sexual harrassment for taking his shirt off infront of white men in the public changing room...or something of that sort...making it seem as unfair as possible), animal cruelty. Things I didnt find funy: Costing america millions "and beer", code name "we have nothing better to do", Barak Obama broadening the study is a good idea...though it might be better again to explain why (instead of simply relating it to the war on terror) ... even if the explanation is rediculous, apocalypse, fake killing of bin laden (its probably better to keep out unecesary and preachy ideas unless you somehow make them really necesary). Its a good start to the article, but youd probably do good to editing out the material which isnt relevant to your double theemed topic (white men cant jump, and government overspending) and focusing more on your actual topic.
    5. Bazooka I think its a good start. You have the idea there (comparing a fairly destructive weapon allong with the male penis as well as trying to solve problems with one quick solution). Some of the lines are also funny. It might be a good idea to develop these two connections further. You could consider not directly mentioning soldiers suffering from premature ejaculation but instead imply it by describing bazookas in a way that insinuates it. You would probably improve the article better if you expanded on the "getting rid of complaining and useless staff in one shot" , and perhaps in a less fantastic way. In anycase, this is a good start.
    • Honourable mention: HowTo:Express Yourself In Song I like articles that are creative and different. I give you brownie points for rewriting the lyrics to various songs. It seems to me that there is some information lacking. While the lyric changes are cute, I dont feel like ive actually learned how to express myself in song. It might be a good idea to write some actual text inbetween songs. Or give tips on how to write a song and how to properly express how you feel with poetic lines and musical notes. I think you would have a fabulous article if you did so. I like the gif as well.
    • Dishonourable mention: Cheers. Hilights of this article include lack of images, lack of formatting, lack of jokes, a red link, no development and lack of a third paragraph. That being said, keep at it put a picture in, come up with a concept, think of some jokes, write a third paragraph, and probably a 4th, 5th etc..., and get rid of that red link and you will make this judge proud!!!

Group 3 (Finished!)

Sorry to keep 'yall waiting. Anyway, here we go:

1. Thekillerfroggy's Esperanto ~ To be honest, this was the article that made me laugh the most (actually the only article that made me laugh out loud). I mean, Plant's probably a better article, but this one made me laugh out loud, as none of the others did, only internally. This may sound like a stupid thing, but it really takes a lot to make me laugh out loud. I could, for example, absolutely love an article, and never laugh once at it (this is actually what you're going to see in a second with Plant). So if your article does make me laugh, you've something I really love with all my heart, there. Wait, why am I explaining my self to you guys? I'm the fucking judge, what I say goes!
2. Lyrithya's Plant ~ This article is hilarious. The prose is impeccable, the images are spot on, and it really caught me by surprise. When it started I was like, "Ugh, is this just gonna drag on and then be over?" (not that this is a bad thing, it's actually really good, it makes the article even more awesome) Then when it got to the more... *ahem* interesting part (Spoiler alert: Bruce Willis is dead the whole time) I was like, "Well holy fuck, this is right down my alley!" No, seriously, shit like that happens in the movies and TV shows I watch, the books I read and even in my mind. So kudos to you for reading my mind. But when it really came down to it, the only reason this wasn't first was that you said, "I did say I wouldn, didn't I?" You made a typo, that's unforgivable.
3. Nikau's Somalia ~ Sorry dude, but I didn't really find this article funny... at all. To be honest, it really kinda bored me. Not that the article was at all bad, just not really that good in my eyes, either. I mean, there are some funny lines, but even those aren't that great. I wish I could see a country article that wasn't the same. Yours is somewhat different from those others, but not enough for me. It's just not for me, but I se others liked it, so... yeah, good job on that, I guess...
4. Xamralco's Gautama Buddha ~ Not finished, but still somewhat funnier then the other unfinished articles. Can't wait to see what is becomes.
5. Socky's Archaea ~ Definitely the second best of all the unfinished articles!
6. RAHB's Epistemology ~ I have no idea why I'm attempting to write this, but I'll try goddamit.

So, yeah, there's my judgery. I hope I piss some people off with it. Actually, come to think of it, I'd like to piss anyone off but Lyrithya, she might put me in a woodchipper (and yes, I did rip off Puppy's judging formatting. What're you gonna do about it, Pup?). --Tophat headless 03:13, January 12, 2012 (UTC)

If somebody wants details for my votes, just drop a message on my talk page, I'd be happy to help :) Snowflake mini Mattsnow 04:07, January 11, 2012 (UTC)
  1. Lyrithya:Plant
  2. Nikau:Somalia
  3. Thekillerfroggy:Esperanto
  4. Xamralco:Gautama Buddha
Voting and justifications follow. I'd say you could ask me for more, but nobody ever does, so I'm not going to invite any extra work.
  1. Plant by Lyrithya - Wandering into an article by this user is not for the faint of heart. This lady scares me, seriously. Concept is brilliant, and execution (haha) is right on the money. A couple of minor spelling issues in there but nothing significant. The images are well chosen/chopped, and formatting is brilliant. First person article, which is not my favourite approach, but well done. Featureable as it is. (Remind me later to pop this on VFH. And what is it with you and manholes?)
  2. Somalia by Nikau - Very well done. Place articles have a tendency to be dull and uninteresting. This is neither of those things. The piratical mentions throughout tie this all in together brilliantly, so it doesn't feel like you're jumping from one topic to the next - a curse of place articles - and it reads comfortably. The section on the tribes is a little too long for my taste though, and I felt myself wanting to just skip past before I got to the end. And you have managed to criticise CUB beer in amongst an article on an African country. Slight tweaking would have me nomming this for feature, as is I would probably vote for it.
  3. Esperanto by Thekillerfroggy - I really enjoyed this, but it has the downfall of being an article that I would read once, have a giggle over, and then probably not go back to. This is probably due to the conceptualisation and the difficulty in reading it, but I wouldn't want to change the concept in any way as that is what makes it work. I also felt that it needs just a tiny bit more length - no idea what about, but it seems to end a little too abruptly. Maybe allow it to degenerate into complete illegibility before the final nonsensical line. Definite vote for feature.
  4. Gautama Buddha by Xamralco - Of the incomplete articles, the best start. But still incomplete.
  5. Archaea by Sockpuppet of an unregistered user - Also incomplete, but as it is would work as a good placeholder until it could be expanded on. It reads like a lengthy UnDictionary entry though, and doesn't give much in regards to where it could be headed.
  6. Epistemology by RAHB - "I have no idea..." seems to encapsulate epistemology in a nutshell. Shame you didn't do anything on this as I was really looking forward to it.
Pup 10:08 10 Jan '12
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