Uncyclopedia:Templates/Maintenance/Mainpage

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Main Page sections

Template Effect Comments
Bestof
(Talk)
(Used on)
Seven Deadly Sins

Air

Creed

Ireland

Cocktail

All_Your_Base_Are_Belong_To_Us

Amadeus

Pong! the Movie

Scotland

Pot v. Kettle

Margaret Thatcher

Hans Blix

Black People

Robot

Newton

Pope

Britain

Eurovision Song Contest

Europe

Game

Livejournal

Biology

Oscar Wilde

Slim Shady Algorithm

RTFM

Absolute Power

Japan

Wikipedia

Kitten Huffing

You have two cows

Oprah Winfrey

Life

Vitamins

lies

Copyright Act

MC Hammer

God


Used by Main Page Alternate (only) as list of favourite articles.
DidYouKnow
(Talk)
(Used on)
*...that Alexander isn't really that Great? Main page factoid box.
Featuredarticle
(Talk)
(Used on)

Today's Featured Article - Dag Hammarskjöld

DH1956 2

Dag Hjalmar Agne Carl Hammarskjöld (Swedish: [dɑːɡ ˈhamːarɧœld]; pronounced like Zlatan IbrahimovićZlatan Ibrahimović nose) was a Swedish diplomat, author, demented pulverizer of troll torsos, and humanitarian. The second Secretary-General of the United Nations, and first to be half Norse-deity, Hammarskjöld served from the rise of the storm sun until his death in 1961 en route to cease-fire negotiations.

Hammarskjöld is often referred to as the benchmark against which later UN Secretaries-General are judged; in part for remaining politically independent throughout his tenure, although mostly for his ability to hammer deep into the New York soil any world leader who went more than 5 minutes over their allotted ranting time on the United Nations lectern. His calm style of mediation and his steady swinging shoulder are regarded as the greatest assets brought to the office by a Secretary-General, at least until Kofi Annan revealed his striking resemblance to Morgan Freeman.

He remains the only U.N. Secretary-General to die in office. However it is unclear whether transitioning to another cosmological level of the magnificent world-tree Yggdrasill counts as a human 'death'; Hammarskjöld was awarded a Nobel Prize posthumously, just in case.

The fourth and youngest son of Hjalmar Hammarskjöld — a former Prime Minister of Sweden — and FreyaGoddess of Fertility, Queen of the Valkyries and Custodian of Death — Dag had descended from a long lineage of Swedes devoted to the public service, diplomacy and suckling the Æsir Gods at Asgard. (more...)

Recently featured: Dag Hammarskjöld - Food

Yesterday's Featured Article - Food

BBQ Food

Food is one of the most dangerous substances known to humankind. It is not only poisonous, but carcinogenic, so much so that it or one of its derivatives is found in the tumours of all cancer patients. Unfortunately, it is also notoriously hard to avoid and extremely addictive. Most patients eat it every day.

Conventional medicine has mostly failed to recognise this threat to public safety, going so far as to advocate its consumption. Alternative medicine, however, is well aware of the dangers of food, and alternative doctors never allow their patients to eat it. As food is everywhere, the difficulty of avoiding it discourages many from following through with alternative treatments, and they go back to conventional doctors who rely on old-fashioned cutting, burning and slashing.

Avoiding food sounds deceptively simple: just don't eat it. But it's not as easy as it sounds. Food is an integral part of most modern diets; indeed most of us eat nothing else. But having something to eat is vital to survival, so the food must be replaced by something else.

But what? It is possible to survive without eating food if one drinks water. If one wants to eliminate such deadly toxins completely, however, water must be avoided as well. All water is chock-full of its own collection of nasties, and if you drink water instead of eating food you will not be any better off. (more...)

Displays the current featured article
Featuredimage
(Talk)
(Used on)
Megatron-bush

Megatron, the Voice of God.
Vote for featured image

Displays a random featured image
Recent
(Talk)
(Used on)

Galla Placidia | Barf (rw) | Nirvana | Gensokyo | CHU | Star Trek: Enterprise | Rough Gay Wolf Sex (rw) | Darth Vader (rw) | Samsung | Meco Monardo | Independent film | Jeb Bush (rw) | William F. Buckley | Sens. Warren/Ayotte/Brown/McConnell | Greggs (rw) | Space Shuttle Challenger (rw) | Solar flares | Maurice Ravel | Dudley | Availability | UnDebate:Should women rap? | Banh Shop | Worst bumper stickers | Firesheep | Lava lamp | Ebola | Brick (rw) |


New article list on main page.
Topics
(Talk)
(Used on)

Haduken - Ironman Ivan Stewarts Super Off Road - Mecha Rumsfeld - Fratelli Gang - One Eyed Willie - Cohagen - Fusor - Johnny Cab - Kobra Kai Dojo - Douglas Quaid - MalEEEna - Adiabat - Saetia - BennEEE - Pink Tubing - LorEEE - Onion Head Hat - multiplying assholes disease - dual penis syndrome - Teleolethargic Psychosis - Stoat - Chode - Choad - Ellipse -

Requested topics, from alternate mainpage.
MonthlyAwards
(Talk)
(Used on)
Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Displays the current featured writer
Sisterprojects/languages
(Talk)
(Used on)

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text) UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Logo Text Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes2 UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
Unbooks-logo notext UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable-logo-en vector notext Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity-logo-notext Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetialogo UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext UnCommons
Broken media repository


Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 30,779 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
W17x11 30557
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
45286
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
18180
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
W17x11 16666
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
W17x11 13518
Wiki it
1dÉ
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
W17x11 8364
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
W17x11 10392
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
5720
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
W17x11 Unknown
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7614
Hikipedia
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on September 3, 2014.
Combination of Sister Projects and Languages templates
Uncyclopediaheader
(Talk)
(Used on)
Rainbow

Sauron is Lord of the Dance.

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the free encyclopedia of politically incorrect non-information.

Uncyclopedia is an encyclopedia full of misinformation and utter lies. It's sort of like Congress or Parliament. Unlike Congress or Parliament, however, we do have a sense of humor. Nonetheless, this one of the only factual pages, before everything turns into a puddle of utter confusion and disarray. Savor it. And for the love of Sophia, we know you like disarray, but stop adding confusion to this page to spite the disclaimer.

Uncyclopedia is a Wiki, and it allows you to contribute articles of your own. Before writing for Uncyclopedia, please read the How To page to learn how to properly format text in an article. Please also read the funny guidelines. If you are interested in flaming and trolling here at Uncyclopedia, please read the rules of battle first. Flamewars are encouraged as long as they follow the rules.

Finally, if an article offends you, resist your urge to mess it up. CLOSE YOUR BROWSER WINDOW. IT WILL AUTOMAGICALLY DISAPPEAR WITH THREE MOUSE CLICKS FEWER.

Header for alternate mainpage
DidYouKnow-Simple
(Talk)
(Used on)
  • ...anything?
  • ...how to ngising and ngloco?
  • ...your name (it's 'Bagus)?
  • ...that this website are nggateli and mangkelno read?
  • ...that cheese be cool, yah?
Simple: factoid box.
Tlh:Colonizations
(Talk)
(Used on)
Our five-day mission: to explore strange new articles
Showcase newsletter Biography

____________

Geog1 Geography

____________

Paperclip Mundane Object

____________

History History

____________

Phrenology Science

____________

Tlh:Sisterprojects
(Talk)
(Used on)
UnNews Eye Logo notext
UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Pencil2
Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
Oscar
The Wilde Project
Bringing Oscar Wilde quotes to every page in Uncyclopedia.
Tlh:Sisterprojects/languages
(Talk)
(Used on)

Sista projects

UnNews Eye Logo notext
UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Pencil2
Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
Oscar
The Wilde Project
Bringing Oscar Wilde quotes to every page in Uncyclopedia.

Our five-day mission: to explore strange new articles
Showcase newsletter Biography

____________

Geog1 Geography

____________

Paperclip Mundane Object

____________

History History

____________

Phrenology Science

____________


Languages

Wilde · Blog · 中文 · Deutsch · Français · English · Simple · Español · Lietuvių · Eesti · Nederlands · Русский ·Suisse · Polski · Português · 1337 · Multilingual

Desencyclopedie
Desencyclopedie
Français
Uncyclopedia.de
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Nonsensopedia
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Nonciclopedia
Nonciclopedia
Italiano

Start an Uncyclopedia in a new language

Note: {{MonthlyAwards}} is currently not closing properly and mess up the table, so it has been removed from the list. Please re-add: {{tplist|MonthlyAwards|1||2||3||c=Displays the current featured writer}} between the topics and sisterprojects/lanugages templates when it is fixed.

This day in history/anniversary templates

Template Effect Comments
anniversary
(Talk)
(Used on)
Inserts title+events for one specified day's date inline. Used on pages for individual months.
annivheader
(Talk)
(Used on)

January - February - March - April - May - June - July - August - September - October - November - December

Please browse to find an anniversary, then give it a damn good editing.
Editing Guidelines


annivfooter
(Talk)
(Used on)

January - February - March - April - May - June - July - August - September - October - November - December


See also

Personal tools
projects