Uncyclopedia:Templates/General

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The title here appears lowercased due to the use of certain templates below.

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The novel [[|Templates/General]] is also available in paperback.
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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Templates/General.
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The so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article on Templates/General much funnier than this one.
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Look up Templates/General in Undictionary, the twisted dictionary
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Unbooks-logo
This novel is also available online.
 I think that we are HUMAN, and we are in terrible danger once we forget that.

Human, is Human, it is flesh, it is MAN. If we forget the fact that we are humans, we become "gods" to ourselves. We walk around as though we are "gods" amongst other men. And trust me...the deepest, darkest sense of evil usually sprouts from Man's ability to glorify himself above other men in the lumination of a god or goddess. The most dangerous scenario is that one where the people start celebrating the existence of a single man as though he was a god, and they worship him.

For this reason, I think humanitarian work can be misleading, and to some it is just a stepping stone into the arena of the "gods". I know a number of "well-doers" who are merely concerned with the FAME, the HONOR, the RECOGNITION. Perhaps they started off in great devotion to the people around them, but success has swallowed them up, and this I know: They would rather be called 'a Saint' than have people take heart in the actual community work. Yes, it is important to be recognized, YES, it is important to have a lot of publicity and YES, it is important to be well-known in order to promote the good work, but if you are more concerned about your name and your position, you will fail to serve the people with all your heart, because your heart is in a different place.


I would rather do no project at all, than to vulture up the lives of people in order to get my 15 minutes of fame. (These are my words today, please remind me of them if my actions in current or future times defer in the slightest from the clear statement I just made.)


The scariest part is that we often do not realise that we are intending to glorify ourselves through our work. You just wake up one morning and you realise that you are sitting on your own little thrown, and the people you cared about once are far out of reach. The good news is that, you are able to climb down there. It has happened to me often, especially in the time after Davos, the local media called on me and I was invited to important meetings in Windhoek, I lost touch with the things I REALLY cared about. I was unhappy and I had no idea why. Later I realised that I was walking away tall. In reality, the work of a humanitarian who cares more about his own reputation than anything else is justifiably EVIL and not GOOD. Does it make a difference nevertheless? Yes it does. Does it save lives? Yes, it does. Then it is GOOD? Yes, it is, but it is not honest, not pure, not sincere, and in a sense....not REAL. It is JUSTIFIABLY EVIL.


Men are EVIL because MAN is EVIL. Evil is a strong word to use, but anyone born in this world is capable of doing wrong. No matter how good your upbringing, no matter how clean your page, you are capable of committing murder, treason, violence...


There is no redemption from being human.

Interwiki
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Look for Templates/General in:
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia,
Wiktionary, the free dictionary that is totally pointless,
Wikisource, where every mindless piece of paper goes.
and finally, search Wikimedia Commons, the place for all your porno!


Of course, you can always use Google or Yahoo!

Pointless links to multiple wikimedia
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You may be looking for Uncyclopedia:Templates and not even know it!
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If you like, Templates/General can mean:
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Main Page



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Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext

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"Most of these articles would probably be flushed down the craptoilet at ED..."

Chron needs a new Ferrari Enzo ,his old ones dirty.
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This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Templates/General page.

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Status messages

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Stop hand nuvola alternate I was blocked from Uncyclopedia, and all I got was this lousy template!
Templates/General has been blocked from Uncyclopedia for misconduct. May its sad fate serve as a warning to others.
Make Uncyclopedia better, not worse. Stop the cycle of violins.

Permanent ban
Test
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Hi there, Templates/General. Thanks for trying out the "Edit this page" feature that makes this site run. Your test has been, or at least will be, removed. I am providing a few links that will help you improve your edits.

If you have any questions or comments, leave a message on my talk page, or at the Village Dump. Thanks in advance for reading this, and I really hope you can contribute much more to Uncyclopedia.

Warning. Use if first edit(s) is/are vandalism. Note that "Hi, templates/general" will turn into a username/IP.
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== Oh Dear... ==
Evileye trans

Beware! The evil eye is upon thee!

Hello, Templates, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your "contributions" — not to put too fine a point on it — have been crap.

If you came here to vandalize — rather than it just being something that comes naturally to you — you should be aware that your edits will not remain on the wiki and in fact it will take us much less time to undo them than it took you to think them up in the first place.

If you thought you were making good edits, then perhaps before you make more of them, you might do some reading first. And start with some of these pages, especially How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid:

Scotty and the bloody knife
Writing funny articles
Understanding Uncyclopedia:About usBeginner's GuideOur projectsGetting ideasHelp menu
Understanding Funny:How To Be Funny And Not Just StupidFunny and not just stupid imagesChoosing words creatively
What to avoid:VandalismCyberbullyingWriting about yourself or your palsOveruse of initial quotationsOveruse of lists
What people have asked for:ArticlesPictures
Additional help:Get spelling/grammar helpFind or become a co-authorHow to write an UnNewsAsk an AdminGet feedback on your work

Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please write to me at the bottom of my talk page (by clicking on my signature below) or to an Admin on their talk page. Alternatively, you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!

If first edits are vanity/slandanity/other irredeemable cruft. Can also be used for permabanned vandals.
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Make Uncyclopedia better, not worse. Stop the cycle of violins.

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----
Attention:

This IP address, Templates/General, is registered to a proxy server, and is shared by multiple users. Comments left on this page may be received by other users of this IP address and appear to be irrelevant. Extreme caution should be used when blocking, banning, or reverting this IP's contributions. If you are an unregistered user operating from this address, note that this need not necessarily be the IP Address of your machine.

Templates/General is the IP address that communicates between your browser and Uncyclopedia's trained monkeys, which is, in other words, a proxy. Such Proxies are shared among an infinite number of users using an infinite number of typewriters compared to the number of persons and typewriters using your particular machine, so refrain from blaming any new messages on them. (Especially the typewriters. Typewriters don't get in to trouble as much as humans, so it's probably not their fault.) If you are frustrated by irrelevant comments being sent to you, then please end it by creating an account for yourself.

Please Note: Proxy users often change IP addresses with each page they load.
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{{tplist|Currently

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This user is currently blocked for {{{time}}}, and in a perfect world would be thinking about what he/she did.
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[[:]]


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This article incorporates text from the 1768 Encyclopædia Britannica, which is strictly copyrighted if you truly and sincerely respect the author's copyrights.
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To the uploader: Please add a detailed unfair use rationale so that we can prove you unfairly used this image. If not, you'll be sorry.

GFDL
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Heckert GNU white
Permission is granted to copy, distribute, modify, huff
and/or misuse this document under the terms of the
GNU Free Documentation License.
Or not. You decide.


NoLicense
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Licensed under absolutely nothing. Have a fucking field day. Abuse this for your own sick pleasures. No license
User-created PD images
No rights reserved
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Green copyright
This image is copyrighted. However, the copyright holder has irrevocably released all rights to it, allowing it to be freely reproduced, distributed, transmitted, used, huffed, modified, built upon, or otherwise exploited in any way by anyone for any purpose, commercial or non-commercial, with or without attribution of the author.
Pd
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MrT Mr. T says:
"This image is in Public Domain.
Use it for whatever you want, foo'!"

Images assumed to be in PD
Pdedit
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Copydown This is an edited, copydown image with pixels from various/ambiguous sources.
The edits to this image are hereby released of any copyright by the uploader.
However, the individual pixels may be a copyright violation.
Use for any purpose at your own risk, I care not since Uncyclopedia has a fair use policy!
User-edited PD images possibly incorporating copyrighted portions of other images.
Pdpixels
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Copydown This is an edited image that has pixels pasted from ambiguous sources.
The edits to this image are hereby released into public domain by the uploader.
However, the individual pixels may be a copyright violation.
Use for any purpose at your own risk, I care not!
User-edited PD images possibly incorporating copyrighted pixels of other images.
Unfairuse
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Purplerwrong

This image is copywronged. The individual who uploaded this work and first used it in an article, and subsequent persons who place it into articles assert that this qualifies as unfair use of the material under United Statues copywrong låw. It is not fair to use this image for your own wallpaper, screensaver, or toilet paper production unless explicitly granted by the President of the United Kingdom of Amerika or your mom.

To the uploader: Please add a detailed unfair use rationale so that we can prove you unfairly used this image. If not, you'll be sorry.

Licence name

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LicenseName CC-BY
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Creative Commons Attribution License
LicenseName GFDL
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GNU Free Documentation License
LicenseName cc-by
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Creative Commons Attribution License
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Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License
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GNU Free Documentation License

New pages

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New UnPoetia
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Unpoetia logo Poetry for people who hate poetry
New UnPoetia intro
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<center>Help and advice</center> Thanks for starting a new UnPoetia poem. Before you write, please read:

If pressed for time, please read the third one.

<center>When you're done writing, add your new masterpiece to UnPoetia/Recent. If it is of sufficient quality, the admins won't have deleted it by this time tomorrow.</center>

New Why
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Why Why? 
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's?

Why to

Why not to

Conclusion

New Why intro
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<center>Help and advice</center> Thanks for starting a new Why?! Before you write, please read:

<center>When you're done writing, add your Why? to Why?:Recent. If your Why? is good enough, it may be nominated for Why?:Featured Vote.</center>

New ad intro
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<center>Help and advice</center>

Thanks for starting a new advertisement! To give it a long and witty life:

  • Use satirical point of view. Here, you can be stupid and not just funny.
  • No need to Cite your sources with the {{Source}} template. Be creative with the text, but use a real link if you want to, or assume whatever or wherever.
  • Alternately, do not use templates like: {{Original}} at the bottom if you pulled this out of thin air.
  • Images are out of the question, these are classifieds!!
  • Don't submit others' work, including just copying & pasting sections from articles. This includes most websites, even if you cannot see a copyright notice.
  • In particular: any picture or text lifted from another fake news site, and the plagiariser, will be

tarred and feathered.

Oh, and when you're looking for resources, DO NOT QUOTE INSTANT NEWS!!! (douche). instantnews.com is a domain stolen by a bot, which the dirty bastards who own the bot then flog it off to the highest bidder. So, unless someone hacks the dirty bastards and releases the domain, you should NEVER quote it. We want to see them tarred and feathered. (You can quote instantnews.org, but NOT .com, .net, or .biz. .cc is available if you want it.)


New article intro
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Thanks for starting a new article! Down below is the usual Uncyclopedia edit box, already loaded with the bare bones of an article for you to modify. (If you don't know what to do in an edit box, please experiment in your sandbox before creating an article in the public space.)

Use these resources: (Hint: Open them in a new tab so as not to disturb your edit.)

  • From the Chief explains the policies of UnNews, how we work together, and the Chief's preferences on use of italics, boldfacing, and links.
  • Help:How to write an UnNews article is a more step-by-step guide to creating an article, although it will again ask you to type your desired headline.
  • UnNews:Style is our Style Guide for writing articles:
    • Section 2 describes the types of UnNews stories: News-based articles versus original "reporting."
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  • And Uncyclopedia:How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid is good advice to follow all across Uncyclopedia.

Now, dig in, Tiger, and write us some UnNews!


New class ad
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Ad title - Ad text, this can be a few words or several lines. But if you abuse the system, your uncyclopedia account will be charge $10 USD per word...seriously! Call 1-800-302-9999

{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}
[[Category:{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}|Templates/General]]

New page
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<center>
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.

[[Category:{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}|Templates/General]] {{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}


Sources

  • "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY
  • "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY


New page test
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This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.

{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}

Name of your image

Type a funny caption here.

NAME OF CITY, Name of state, province, or country --


Sources

  • "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY
  • "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY


New unscript intro
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Þings to Remæmber when writing þy UnScript
* Add þy templæt {{UnScriptsHeader}} to þe top of þou Script. Þe templæt hath the UnScript category so þou needeþ not to add it þy self.

New vd intro
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Help and advice

You are starting a new Village Dump topic. This forum is for community-related discussion only. You may want to instead try -

If your topic disappears, it may have been moved to one of these instead.

Trivia/2
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===Music===

The Scorpions

In the hidden track No One Likes Drew on the 1975 album In Trance, Rudolph Schenker of The Scorpions is heard to scream, "Ježišmária! Ty !" at least three times. This is considered significant by arachnologists, as Schenker was not known to speak Slovak at the time of the recording. Klaus Meine can be heard shrieking like a lesbian deprived of her motorcycle in the background.

Theatre and Literature

Shakespeare

  • In act 4, scene 2 of Troilus and Cressida, Hector says, "I would lief be thrust thr'u a quickset hedge as cry to a callow ."

Television

Seinfeld

  • In season 2, episode 9, Elaine says "Maybe ate your baby".
  • In season 7, episode 7, Kramer, Elaine, Jerry, and George compete to see who can go the longest without .

Amos 'n' Andy

  • In season 12, episode 9, the Kingfish tells Andy "Go an' fin' me one a dem thangs".

Family Guy

  • In season 4 episode 20 Stewie continually tries to beat Brian with .

Fibber McGee and Molly

  • In season 16, episode 11, Dr. Gamble is looking for , and Fibber McGee opens his closet to look for one, with hilarious results.

I Love Lucy

  • In season 1, episode 27, Ricky finds a stash of in Lucy's purse.

Saturday Night Live

  • In seasons 20 through 23, a recurring gag has Molly Shannon wearing on top of her head.

The Simpsons

  • In season 2, episode 4, Bart steal's Mrs. Krabappel's .
  • In season 4, episode 8, Homer picks his nose with .
  • In season 8, episode 16, Grandpa explains that in the olden days it was the style to wear on one's belt.

South Park

  • In season 1, episode 1, Cartman gets shoved up his ass.
  • In season 3, episode 4, Kenny is killed by a ferocious .
  • In season 5, episode 8, the boys befriend a talking named "Templatesie".

Spongebob SquarePants

Others

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Blog snippet copyright
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This post includes content from Uncyclopedia which is available under the Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0 license.
Nutshell
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Nutshell This page in a nutshell:
Pee Edit
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You are creating a new Pee Review entry! Congratulations!

Please don't delete the {{Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Menu}}; that puts the menu at the top of the entry. Also, don't delete the [[Category:Pee Review]]; that puts your entry into the dynamic page list, ensuring that others will see your article.

Have fun!

Preview
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== Preview! ==
Preview

Use it!

Hello there. When editing an article, it's best to use the preview button before saving, and only use save when you're happy with how it looks. Using preview means you can see what your article looks like without making lots of small individual edits, which fill up Special:Recentchanges, making it more difficult to find vandalism. Using the preview button helps make the world a better place, so if you could use it in the future, we'll all be better off for it. Have a nice day!

RecentnewsFA
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Canada Quebec flag
SidebarStoryTemplate
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[[{{{article}}}|{{{title}}}]]

{{{blurb}}}

Stdreasons
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1. Unacceptable content

-- 1.1 Test passed -- 1.1.1 Test failed -- 1.2 Patented nonsense -- 1.2.1 Qua? -- 1.2.2 Permanently de-Chucking -- 1.3 Uncyclopedia is not Wikipedia -- 1.4 Uncyclopedia is not Wikipedia's trash bin -- 1.5 We don't care. Go away. -- 1.5.1 Codeine's Mum hasn't heard of you. Go away. -- 1.5.2 Wikipedia hasn't heard of you. Neither have we. -- 1.5.3 Myspace -- 1.6 Cyber-bullying -- 1.7 Ewwww! -- 1.7.1 Ewwww! -- 1.8 First, enlarge your penis -- 1.8.1 First, enlarge your breasts -- 1.9 Slandanity -- 1.A Blatant copyvio -- 1.B Not funny for sober people. Read HTBFANJS. -- 1.C What the BELGIUM? -- 1.D EPIC FAIL. -- 1.E Pointless redirect -- 1.F Drama 2. Administrative -- 2.1 QVFD -- 2.2 VFD -- 2.3 ICU expired -- 2.4 Abandoned WIP -- 2.5 User not found -- 2.7 Deleted per author request -- 2.7.1 Subpage deleted per user request -- 2.8 Stale pee removal 3. Technical -- 3.1 Unused image -- 3.1.1 Personal photo, not used -- 3.1.2 Duplicate image -- 3.1.3 Image violated Vanity Policies -- 3.2 Unused template -- 3.3 Empty category -- 3.4 Category moved -- 3.5 Broken redirect -- 3.6 Double redirect -- 3.7 Orphaned talk page -- 3.8 Blanked by author 4. ??? 5. Profit

UnBooksVFH
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Unbookslogo Nominated UnBook
This article has been nominated for highlighting on the UnBooks front page—you can vote for it or nominate your favourite articles at UnBooks VFH.
Please see this article's entry.
UnBreakingNews
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UnHowPageArticle
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=== How to take a crap ===

Taking a crap is great for your health, because it helps clear out your bowels. Learn how to do it like a pro at this page. Read on...

UnNews Continents
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Departments

Customer "service"

W
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[[Wikipedia:|]]

See also

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