Uncyclopedia:Supersecret admin page

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This super-secret page contains tools for use by Uncyclopedia administrators only. If you are not an admin, please close your browser NOW.

“STOP READING THIS IF YOU'RE NOT AN ADMIN! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T READ ANY FURTHER THAN THIS QUOTATION!”
~ Oscar Wilde

Article deletion

{{coin}} This tool is used as the first step to decide whether to huff individual newly-created article stubs on sight:

heads
deface
tails
delete
edge
nominate on VFH
Coin-heads
HEADS

Editing and page protection

{{card}} If an article survived the previous step, decide here how to deface it beyond recognition:

and:

  • Clubs - club the user into unconsciousness
  • Hearts - take 'em and break 'em *blush*
  • Spades - shovel some more rubbish in there
  • Diamonds - sell 'em out to the highest bidder
8

Card-clubs-up
Card-clubs-up Card-clubs-up

Card-clubs-up Card-clubs-up

Card-clubs-down Card-clubs-down

Card-clubs-down Card-clubs-down
Card-clubs-down

8

Random bannination

{{die}} This tool is used to decide the fate of individual editors on Uncyclopedia after randomly trashing their fine contributions:

  1. - ban user for life and revert all posts
  2. - arbitrarily ban user for life
  3. - ban user for some random duration and go back to sleep
  4. - replace user's posts with RANDY TRAVIS swearwords
  5. - seek out and and revert all of user's edits
  6. - ignore user completely and maybe they'll go away
Dot    
  Dot  
    Dot

Featured article

{{slots}} This tool is used if any text is left intact, to decide whether to nominate what's left of the article for VFH or VFP:

Slots-cherrySlots-cherrySlots-cherry Nominate for VFH
Slots-pineappleSlots-pineappleSlots-pineapple Nominate for VFP
Slots-bar2 or Slots-bar3 Just kidding, go ahead and ban user forever!
Slots-top
Slots-left Slots-bar2Slots-bar3Slots-apple Slots-right
Slots-base

Misc cabal actions

{{Chess}} Instructions for interpretation are on Admin Secret Form E-317a, pages 17-338.

Chess pw
A non-admin user is always represented as a white pawn. Admin pieces are black.
Chess pb
If surrounded by pawns, user has been PWNED.
Chess rb
If surrounded by rooks, user must go to jail. Go directly to jail.
Chess nb
If surrounded by knights, user has been SLAIN and fed to dragons.
Chess bb
If surrounded by bishops reciting last rites, user is to be blown back to Gosh.
Chess qb
If user is surrounded by queens, s/he is to be handed over to the fashion police.
Chess kb
If user is surrounded by burger kings, would you like fries with that?
a b c d e f g h
8 Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess 8
7 Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess 7
6 Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess 6
5 Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess 5
4 Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess 4
3 Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess 3
2 Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess 2
1 Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess Chess 1
a b c d e f g h


If all else fails

Ban the user for vandalising a protected page. Seeming as though you have (almost) absolute power, no-one will ask how the user managed to do this in the first place.


This super-secret page contained tools for use by Uncyclopedia administrators only. If you are an admin from some other site or a spy from **censored** and you read this page anyway, oh boy, you're in for it, eh?

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