Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/wesley willis

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edit wesley willis

This is an article/poem/song without music on wesley willis. Don't review if you've never heard of him before, please. Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 22:38, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Remember back when you and I were really mean to each other for no real reason? Well, I very nearly posted a video of Wesley Willis classic "Suck My Dog's Dick" on your talkpage at one point. True story. Incidentally, I've heard of Wesley Willis, and will review this for you, provided you don't mind waiting a few days (I move back in to school this weekend). So, um, yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:19, January 14, 2011 (UTC)
I was just thinking about how we were really mean to each other for no reason the other day! Yeah, I was all like "wait why did I do that again, exactly?" Anyway I don't mind about punctuality at all. Take all the time ye need, I practically just put this up here on a whim. And, for the record, I would have truly been honored if you put Suck a Cheetah's Dick on my talk page. --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 23:43, January 14, 2011 (UTC)
Humour: 7 Sorry this took me such a long time to get to--I've been pretty busy at school despite it being just the first week. So yeah.

Anyway, This is pretty funny. You've obviously listened to a fair amount of Wesley Willis, because you mimic the subtle and not-so-subtle aspects of his songwriting pretty well. You do the things most readily apparent about a Wesley Willis song--having the verses be short declarative sentences relating to the topic of the song, having the chorus being the title of the song (or article) repeated four times, suggesting the sucking of an animal's dick, etc.--just about as well as you can do them. What's a bit more impressive and interesting, though, are the slightly more subtle things you've done, which indicate that you clearly grasp the finer points and nuances of Wesley Willis's remarkable songcraft. You've done the whole "random line that comes out of nowhere" thing well in the "shot bullets all over ronald reagan's face" line, and the "Nike: just do it" at the end is exactly the sort of well-known slogan he would have used without being one he actually used (at least to my knowledge), so that's pretty cool too. The references to Wesley Willis's demons (especially the mention of meansucker by name), Willis's live band and the song "I whupped Spiderman's ass" were also well done.

Basically, if you're aware of Wesley Willis, this is just about as funny of an article as you can hope to have on him. A lot of people (unfortunately) don't know who he is, though, which leads to one of this article's two problems: while this will obviously be appreciated by people who have heard of Wesley Willis, conversely, people who haven't heard of him will have no fucking clue what this is about. You're obviously aware of this problem because you alluded to it in your initial request for the review, and there really isn't much of a remedy for it, though it bears mentioning.

The second major problem of this article is also something you mentioned in the initial request: there's no audio to accompany it. If there was, this would probably have one or two points higher in this category, easily.

Concept: 8 I've sort of talked about this in the prior section, so I won't go on, but you've got a solid and straightforward concept that you've realized just about as fully as you can hope to (even if there is no accompanying song). So yeah.
Prose and formatting: 5.5 This score isn't because everything is in lowercase--given the subject matter, I think proper capitalization and punctuation would be a drawback, if anything. (Actually, one of the funniest things about this article, in my opinion, is your haphazard rendering of "weeeesssllleyyy willliiiisss" in the chorus, which works perfectly.) Rather, I have two gripes: firstly, I'm not really a fan of how every line is one big link, mostly because I think it looks really bad, but also because you have no idea what the hell the link is to by just glancing at it (cursoring over every single line to see what it links to gets annoying pretty quickly); secondly, the images are kind of small, which, coupled with the shortness of the lines, means there's a crapload of whitespace, which is also unsightly. To fix the first problem, I'd suggest doing basically the opposite of what you decided to do, and link specific, important nouns and/or provocative phrases (like "sucked a jaguar's cut up dick") to things instead of the entire line they're in. For the second problem, I'd suggest making the images a tad bit bigger, throwing a third image in the middle somewhere, and maybe even making the text itself bigger, which is something that might really work well, given the subject matter.
Images: 6 The first and second image are both really good and fitting (if a bit on the small side); get a third one to balance things out and get rid of all that unsightly whitespace and you're in business.
Miscellaneous: 6 I'd actually really love to see this featured, though you'd probably need an accompanying audio for that to happen. Even if that's not a possibility, though, this is still a pretty decent article that could be made into a more prettier decent article with an extra image and a bit of sprucing up.
Final Score: 32.5
Wesley Willis - Suck a Cheetah's Dick02:53

Wesley Willis - Suck a Cheetah's Dick


Reviewer: Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 06:16, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

As a person without garageband or a Casio keyboard or any music production tool at all, I'd need someone else to do the audio, which is why I put out several requests long ago. Sadly, no one seemed up to the task, and no one still is. Thanks for the excellent review, though, and glad to know you liked it! I'll be sprucing it up accordingly ASAP. --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 21:10, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

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