Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/sunny d

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edit Sunny D

User:Maff/sig 17:24, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 4 I giggled, but there is potential for far more funnies.
Concept: 6 I agree with you Sunny D tastes like wank and yet it’s so popular (or at least was (I live in a really flaky town[1] so I don’t know, the rest of the world may still love it)). As I’ve said there is room for expansion, you seemed to only focus on orange flavour when it has evolved into other flavours since (the strawberry one tastes like menstruation blood (not that I’d know)). Although I like how you have it coming about by accident as ‘don’t all the best things come about by accident?’
Prose and formatting: 6 Your spelling and grammar seem ok (I’d get a second opinion of this though as mine sux). Your generally layout isn’t fantastic though, the right half is just a block of blocks. The table probably should be at the top (roughly where the picture of ‘David Sunny’ is) and in fact it would probably be better to just get rid of that picture altogether, it’s not especially funny and is sort of cluttering the place up.
Images: 7 I’d like to know how you got your hands on that picture from my 20th, but it works, shows the first sunny d genuine pig to be a bit, er, simple. And like I said the picture of Mr Sunny can probably just go.
Miscellaneous: 5.75 I mentioned that there is definitely room for expansion; this could probably be best executed in your list of other uses. Make up ‘unnews’ references for instances of it being used as a murder weapon (i.e. a Molotov cocktail) or for cheating in the Olympics. Also you could say it’s popular with anorexics for its laxative qualities while pointing out it has more calories than if you were to eat a heard of elephants.

Also you kind of stated the obvious a few times which detracted from your jokes, like in the DYK box things are meant to be true, you don’t need to say so, and at the bottom of the ingredients list anyone that didn’t notice the numbers add up to 110% doesn’t deserve to know. And like I mentioned you could probably do a section on its ‘evolution’ into other flavours, even make up crazy ones like ‘milk’ flavoured sunny d (milk in inverted commas as could carry on idea that it’s made up of nasty bodily fluids). The quotes at the top; I liked the Oscar Wilde one, but for the advertising one you could say “Liars on Sunny D” and captain obvious is wrong ‘cos it’s only ‘Sunny D’ in colloquial language. And I find him irritating. One last thing, and I’m just being picky here, you’re from the UK right? Why are you saying alcoholic for under 21s? American law isn’t the be all and end all of the world and we can get tattered at 18, just change that please.

Final Score: 28.75 I think I've basically said everything that needed to be said, i'f you want to ask anything though or insult me go to my talk page and leave a note.
  1. just whoreing my article, don't mind me
Reviewer: --orian57 07:55, 15 March 2008 (UTC)
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