Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/socialist alternative (australia)

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edit Socialist Alternative (Australia)

Missunderstood 10:57, 26 April 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 5 The problem with partisan humor is that it's only funny to partisans. You can just feel waves of contempt, bitterness, even hate, radiating off of this article. It doesn't "joke" about members of the SA so much as it says they're sloppy, shrill, gay, diarrhetic, effeminate, narcissist necrophiliacs who should be ostracized and dismembered with chainsaws. I saw some promise in the lede - it looked like it was going to be a satirical article about how the SA had solved all of Australia's problems and caused the land to spring up with millions of wildflowers; or it looked like maybe there might be some surreal jokes about mind worm overlords and their secret agenda; but all I got from there was a vicious attack on the Australian far left. If I want to hear vicious attacks on the left, all I have to do is call my aunt.
Concept: 4 This really needs a better concept than "Fuck the SA." A little satire can go a long way; often, saying exactly the opposite of what this article says would work much better. For example, saying something about the SA engaging in rallies demanding five steaks a day would likely be funnier than saying they're a bunch of vegetarian pussies. Saying that they successfully campaigned for Australian recognition of "National Management Day" would likely be funnier than saying they complain about workers not having any rights. Saying that over 50% of them are employed as CEOs of international conglomerates would likely be funnier than saying that they don't work and their parents are middle-class. You get the idea. Another promising idea might be to write it from the apparent perspective of an SA member, stick the "This article was written by a communist" template at the top, and end up having the fictional protagonist damn his own organization with faint praise and absurdities. Really, there's a lot of concepts that work - it just needs one.
Prose and formatting: 7 Nothing wrong with the prose or formatting. It's all consistent.
Images: 7 The fields of wildflowers are probably the funniest part of the article. The caption for the students with red flags was all right, although, wow, "panthonemonic" is one obscure word. It's not bad, but it might have been a missed opportunity. The "Brain of a Member of the Socialist Left" just seemed like more partisan attacks, though. "They have no work ethic! They have no personal responsibility! They have no common sense!" Yawn. Also, it looks like it was written for an American audience, what with that "Blame America synapse." This is mostly about the Australian SA, no?
Miscellaneous: 5.75 averaged
Final Score: 28.75 I was raised by a cup of coffee.
Reviewer: Hyperbole 18:29, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
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